


Research Station Atreus

by Avrina



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Alcohol, Androids, Cyborgs, F/M, Friendship, Future, Genetic Engineering, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, Lies, Mad Scientists, Matchmaking, New Planets, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Research, Robots, Science Fiction, Sex Androids, Women in the Military
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-24 06:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 81,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21333757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avrina/pseuds/Avrina
Summary: Research Station Atreus, Planet Atreus.Two security agents are awakened by Earth. The station has been sleeping for ten years and apparently one of the scientists has played his own game. While Erin and Mike try to unlock the station to let a new spaceship dock, they find more questions than answers. Their only company, the scientific Android John, is only of limited help and raises doubts about many things...
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. 20.02. – Day 1 - ... but nothing rests forever

**Author's Note:**

> "... but nothing rests forever" - "... doch nichts ruht auf ewig" taken from "Brunhild" by Saltatio Mortis

Soft pale-yellow light. A warm breeze on the legs. With a soft groan Erin leaned on an elbow and pushed the lid of her sleeping capsule upwards with her free hand. Slowly she sat up, stretched herself until it cracked, then she took a look around the lids of the capsules. The sleeping capsule room shimmered in the light blue light of the active capsules.  
_Strange._ She climbed out of the capsule, swayed a little, and turned around.  
"Mike...?" Her voice scratched, the addressed man, standing at the information screen next to the door, turned around.  
"Erin. Are you all right?"  
She took an unsteady step and then held her head. "I'm dizzy."  
Mike shrugged. "It'll pass."  
As she rubbed her eyes, he turned back to the screen. There, sluggish red capital letters flashed:

**SAFETY PROTOCOL - DELTA143 **

"What kind of protocol is that?" she asked when he touched the screen to get to the further information. Slowly she walked towards him while her head was still spinning.  
_Stupid antifreeze._  
"I'm not sure... the deltas are the external ones."  
"Thank you, I know that."  
Crookedly he grinned at her over the shoulder.  
"Is nobody else awake?" she asked further. She couldn't concentrate on the texts on the screen and turned back to the capsules.  
"I saw a green one, I think... wait... DELTA143 is the external request to check the overall safety of the station. If necessary, security forces are awakened and different areas are unlocked or locked."  
Frowning, Erin let her gaze wander over the capsules. Five of them each were arranged around a white man-high technical distribution column - the hall had something of a gigantic flower meadow.  
"But why do all the others sleep? There are two securities in the active shift."  
"I don't know. Take a look at the shift plan."  
The shift plan was a single small screen hanging directly in the adjacent panel.  
"The last shift was Natascha and Vincenzo."  
"Hmm... and who else?"  
"Gordon and Maisie from the technicians. And the doctors Foster, Schmidt, Tanaka, Perez, Beckham, Leventis, Park, Blake, Tennyson and Vedernikov."  
Mike looked up. "Does any of them own the capsule?"  
"I don't know." Erin shrugged and went to take a look at the capsule. The floor was cold under her bare feet and she shivered. This green glowing capsule was located at the left end of the hall; the personnel number and name were attached to the foot end of the transparent lid.  
"Gus Griswald. One of the technicians," she shouted to Mike.  
"Gus is a computer specialist..." he thought. "This protocol doesn't concern him."  
With cold feet Erin went back to him. "From here we can't see when which capsules closed. We should go to the security center."  
Mike nodded slowly. "Maybe we should get dressed first. And eat something." He rubbed his stomach. "I'm hungry."  
"And I have cold feet." They nodded at each other. The short skin-tight suits they wore to sleep were uncomfortable and the integrated sensors would give a warning signal when leaving the room.

Erin entered one of the changing rooms on one of the side walls and pressed her right hand into the space provided.  
"Just a moment, please," sounded the gentle woman's voice given to the station. You could hear it buzzing and clacking softly, then one of the panels opened. Behind it was a stack of clothes - underwear, socks, shirt, trousers, jacket. As Erin changed clothes, it buzzed on and behind a second panel appeared a pair of boots and the all-round belt.  
"Please confirm with an eye scan." A small scanner unit became visible and Erin had her right eye scanned, whereupon a third panel opened and released her personal belongings. She hung her security badge on her belt, tied the clunky Smartwatch around her left wrist, and attached the tiny headset to her ear. She checked her pistol before putting it in the belt holster and then leaving the cabin with her pajamas in her hand. Mike was already standing next to his capsule, which was in the group next to Erin's.  
"I take a look at the others..."  
"Do that." Erin kneeled next to her capsule, loosened a small box from the bottom and put her pyjamas in it. Then she docked the box again and got up. "And, anything exciting?" she asked when Mike stopped next to a capsule in the middle of the room.  
"Depends on whether you find a middle-aged naked woman exciting." He waved her to him.  
"Who is it?"  
"Doctor Andrea Schmidt."  
"I thought the capsule couldn't be activated without sensors."  
"Well, the sensors are inside... but not where they belong." Mike looked at the capsule with crossed arms and a frown. Erin stepped next to him and raised a brow. Doctor Andrea Schmidt lay there as if poured down, her head turned to the side, one hand beside her face. One leg was slightly bent and also tilted to the side, her pyjamas were lying underneath - she was completely naked.  
"She looks as if someone had placed her inside," Erin said thoughtfully. "Why?"  
"Let's just ask her." Mike pressed the activation button on the capsule.  
"Attention, security protocol Delta143 active. Manual waking not possible."  
"Great," Mike grumbled sarcastically.  
"Let's look at the other capsules," Erin replied. Uneasiness crept in as she walked around the capsule flowers, but there was nothing unusual...  
"Mike!"  
"Hmm?"  
"Here's one with a malfunction."  
"Whose is it?" Erin stepped on the unlit capsule and flinched. Slight disgust rose in her. "Doctor Matthew Foster..."  
"And...?" Mike asked while he was walking up to her.  
"Well, what's left of him is still in there." She looked up at him when he reached her.  
"Oh... that's..." A little unhappy, he made a face.  
"A mummy," Erin nodded.  
"_Not good_, I wanted to say," Mike corrected and frowned.  
Both remained silent for a moment, then he asked: "What does your investigator's intuition tell you?"  
"Got a little rusty over the last few decades. But I don't know what it should tell me." She shrugged. "Well, if a capsule has a defect, a technical alarm is triggered and a technician has to take care of it. Obviously that didn't happen. And the question is: why not?"  
"If no technician is active - will someone be woken up? So purely theoretical?"  
"No clue." Again she shrugged. "It's in the dorm protocol."  
"Hmm." Mike looked again at the remains of Foster. "How long does it take for a dead man to be mummified?"  
Erin tapped on her watch. "Sorry, I don't have the pathology on speed dial."  
"All right, all right." Mike apologetically raised his hands. "Let's look at the shift plan again," he suggested and went ahead with a frown.  
"What do you want to know?" Erin asked and hurried afterwards.  
"Well, how about today's date?"  
"Oh!" She hadn't even thought about that yet.  
"Shift change was planned for the first of July fifty. And today is the..." Mike stopped.  
"The twentieth of February, sixty." Erin read out uncertainly.  
"The station has been sleeping for ten years!?" Mike ran his fingers through his hair.  
"Why didn't Earth take care of it before?" Erin wanted to know quietly. She stared at the date display.  
"That... is a good question." They exchanged a glance.  
"Are you sure you want something to eat before we go to the security center?"  
The answer was Mike's stomach growling.  
"All right... One more thing, who would have been the new shift?"  
Mike tapped around on the screen. "Arne and Lisa. Maria and Sascha. Clark, Thompson, Roberts, Mbe, Garruba, Musa, Wang, Sanchez, Nowak, van Dijk."  
Short silence.  
"Let's go. We don't find any answers in here, just more questions," Mike sighed finally and Erin nodded. The large transparent double door slid silently open and closed behind them. Then it clicked and red lights shone in the door frame.  
"What..." Erin stepped to the door, waved at the sensors, but nothing moved.  
"Probably part of the security protocol. Come on." Mike nodded encouragingly to her.  
"Hmm." After one last look at the pale blue capsules she followed him down the hallway.

~

"Can we assume Gus didn't wake up until after Foster was dead?" Mike asked as they took the small elevator from the first basement to the first floor.   
"No, not really."   
"Because?"   
"He should have done something. Waking someone up. Inform the Earth."   
"True..." Mike answered slowly.   
The corridor on the first floor was unlit, because daylight fell through the large windows and gave a view of Atreus. On the right side, behind the station, was the big lake, which in turn was bordered on the right side by bizarre rock formations. On the left side, in front of the station, a sanded path was visible, behind it was an attempt to settle vegetation on Atreus. Various bushes and shrubs greened and blossomed there, here and there with small walls in between to protect them from the winds and storms. The sunshine made the white-grey corridor seem much friendlier.   
"Come on..."   
The dining room looked like always: dark brown floor, the walls in the lower third also dark brown, above in light beige. The tables, which could seat either four or six people, were designed in a colorful tablecloth look and the chairs in light grey. On the wall next to the entrance were three large order terminals that served food after a few minutes - right on a tray with cutlery, drink and washable napkin. Erin went to the second terminal and chose _breakfast_. All available options appeared as labeled pictures and she chose muesli with yogurt and a small café au lait. The terminal buzzed and she looked over to Mike, who leaned against the counter and looked back.   
"I'd like to start all over again, but where does it start?"   
Mike shrugged. "It looks like the old shift went to sleep without the new one waking up. Which is a violation of the shift change protocol."   
"It looks more like something went wrong. Schmidt lies naked in her capsule and Foster is dead. Gus is awake, but apparently did nothing before Delta143 was triggered. Maybe he's dead or otherwise incapacitated."   
"The way you say it, it sounds like he just passed out," Mike mocked.   
"Yeah, well, how do I know! There must be a good reason why he didn't respond to the capsule failure."   
"And when he just woke up to overlap with the external trigger?"   
"Hmm." Erin chewed on her lower lip. "Don't you think he would have done something anyway that would have stopped Delta143 before it came into effect?"   
"I'm not sure if that's even possible." The two terminals beeped shortly after each other and the trays slipped out of the dispensers. Mike had ordered an omelette with bacon stripes on top, the smell of which caused Erin a little nausea so shortly after waking up. They sat down at the first table and began to eat.

"Why us?" Mike wanted to know after a while.   
"Hmm?" Erin looked up, questioningly he looked at her.   
"Why did they wake us?"   
"We're here as security staff...?" Asking, Erin looked back.   
"Yes, but why _us_? I mean, why _me_? You're a military police officer, an investigator, but I'm a soldier."   
"And thus predestined for extreme crisis situations."   
Mike made a face.   
"You were at war," she added and immediately regretted it. Mike lowered the cutlery and looked at his plate, for a moment he seemed very far away. She was about to say something, apologize, as he sighed softly.   
"Let's hope it won't be an extreme crisis situation. How-", he grinned strained, " when everybody's asleep."   
Erin struggled for a smile and silently they finished their breakfast. When they had put their trays back, she said:   
"Let's find some answers."   
"Nothing could be better."

~

The security center was located on the ground floor, below the dining room, and was round. The whole wall was full of screens and work terminals, with a large round holographic table in the middle. As soon as Mike and Erin had entered the room, the screens came to life and began to blink to advertise their concerns.   
"Oh..."   
"So, where do we start?"   
"I don't know. Maybe we should concentrate on different things among this crowd..."   
"Fine. I'm looking at the communication between Atreus and Earth," Mike said and went to the terminal where the envelope symbol was flashing.   
"Then I'll look at the dorm log," Erin muttered and sat down at the terminal.

The latest entry corresponded to their waking up. In front of it stood Gus' name- _03.07.50_ Below it in turn was the entry of the shift change on the first of July; with the exception of Foster, everyone had gone to sleep. Erin went into the detail view and frowned. Schmidt's capsule had been activated almost two hours after the others, but Foster's capsule wasn't written. Frowning, she leaned back in her seat and switched to the error messages.   
First there was the message they had heard while trying to wake Schmidt, but below it was what she was looking for:   
_Foster - error message T44 - timer failed- 27.05.52_   
The keyword-like detail report stated that Foster had tried to limit his sleep duration to half a year, only the input had been incorrect and the capsule had terminated the sleep process shortly after it started.   
_Why didn't Foster open the capsule and try again?_ When you went to sleep, the capsule and suit sensors calculated the lying position and after the capsule injected an antifreeze into the body. At the same time, the capsule released a tranquilizer gas to minimize claustrophobic anxiety. When the heart rate had slowed, the cold sleep phase began. Erin tried to imagine the scenario and looked again at the times in the report.   
He simply suffocated, she realized. Probably the change from cold sleep and waking up was too fast to let the tranquilizer gas disintegrate. And probably this quick change alone would have been enough for a good headache. He probably didn't understand what was happening. She went into the overall view for Foster's capsule and shook her head gently. The malfunction had only been triggered days after his death - presumably by the decomposition process of the dead body. So simple, so tragic. A human error. She turned to Mike.   
"Foster probably suffocated."   
"Hmm?" Slowly he turned his eyes from the screen to her.   
"Foster probably suffocated. He has set his capsule wrong."   
Mike snorted. "The guy programmed a messenger bot to send a message to Earth every two weeks that everything's fine. It's been running since May fifty-two."   
"May fifty-two, he's gone to sleep... or tried."   
Mike nodded slowly, Erin continued: "Everyone else went to sleep on time, only he did whatever he did for two years. Gus was woken up two days after the official change, by the way."   
Mike nodded again. "Foster wrote to Mr. Black directly on July 1st that there were discrepancies in the team because of the shift change and that it would be delayed. For six months approximately every two weeks, he sent out fragmentary lab reports and protocols and then claimed that there were technical problems uploading the files."   
"And Mr. Black accepted it like that?"   
"I quote: We've already awakened our chief coder to fix the problem. Quote end. Then comes the usual blah blah. And then the bot. Mr. Black actually accepted it until about a year ago. There came the first message... from the ship."   
"Ship?"   
"A new spaceship with new inhabitants is coming. It'll be here in less than three weeks."   
"Wow... and why the Delta Protocol?"   
"Because for almost a year we have only responded to all the news about this with bot-generated short messages. And the ship needs a manual confirmation to enter orbit."   
"Phew... " Erin ran her fingers through her hair. She was about to say that everything was in order, but then she closed her mouth again. "What was Foster doing here alone with Gus for two years?"   
"Good question. But what happened to Gus anyway? Why didn't he go back to sleep?" Mike asked back. For a moment they looked at each other thoughtfully, then Erin quickly went over to another terminal.   
"Who thought up this crap, building a new workplace for every shit?" Mike grumbled as he followed her.   
"Ask Mr. Black..." Erin stuck her ID in a slot and the personnel terminal came to life. Almost immediately, a display of the active employees appeared in the upper left corner and Erin chose Gus' name. The cover page of the personnel file with Gus' photo on it now appeared on the right. A man of mixed European-Asian origin in his late fifties looked at them seriously. On the left flashed a notice:   
_Gus Lien Griswald- active- xxx_   
Erin frowned, but before she could comment on the notice, it changed.   
_Gus Lien Griswald- inactive- infirmary_   
"What now? Active or inactive?" Mike asked himself more than Erin.   
"Let's go check," she suggested, Mike nodded and she pulled her badge out of the terminal, which immediately blackened the screen.

~

The infirmary was just a little down the hallway. Behind the first door there was a corridor, on the right side of which there were other doors; the first one on the right had a large red cross and a window at the top. Already as they approached the door slipped open with a hiss and even before they had taken more than two steps, a ruffling voice asked:   
"Who's there?"   
"G-Gus?" Erin asked back uncertainly.   
"We are Mike and Erin," Mike replied quickly and stepped up to the capsule, which floated hydraulically at hip level.   
"Oh, has the army moved out?"   
"Well, when you come back from the shit room and you find one of your men in the lazaret, you want to know what's going on," Mike responded to the joke and put on a smile. But Erin shuddered. Gus' body ended in thigh stumps, almost his entire right arm was missing; the remains of his uniform looked like soaked in blood.   
"But you took a damn long time to shit..." Gus murmured dryly.   
"There were beans for dinner." Mike forced himself to grin. "How does it look?" he asked casually, Gus coughed blood.   
"Bad."   
"We got a detective here, you know?"   
Erin got a flat hand slapped in the neck by Mike.   
"Foster the bastard attacked me... after I reprogrammed Jane for him... and some of the programs in the lab..." He coughed again and Erin cautiously said:   
"Foster's dead, Gus. He suffocated in his capsule."   
"Serves him right!" Gus coughed rattling and spat blood. "He wanted to finish some project that the others didn't approve... the dickhead wanted to experiment on the colonists..." He cursed harshly in his mother tongue and then added: "I happened to see plans for it in his laboratory journal. That's why he attacked me. With a scalpel!" Again Gus coughed violently, Mike and Erin exchanged a look. She had no words to express how she felt.   
"There seemed to be something stuck to the scalpel. And now I'm dying like this... for ten years..." Gus looked at her and Erin bit her lip. "I locked the infirmary so he couldn't finish it, but it didn't help me either." He knocked from the inside with his healthy left hand against the capsule.   
"The darling here is just a field doctor and not a world-class surgeon." Now the rest of his right arm twitched. Erin got sick.   
"Tell my family I regretted going to Atreus. And... please start program one of the capsule..." He closed his eyes and weakly moved his lips. Erin looked at Mike - who shrugged uncertainly and touched the control panel of the capsule. When Erin saw what it was, tears filled her eyes. She barely knew Gus, but she had to admire this man who had endured years of torture hoping someone would come and actually put a death program on the first aid capsule.   
Gus was still praying when Mike finally managed to push the start button. It buzzed quietly, then a small syringe drove out of a compartment at the edge of the capsule, adjusting for a moment, then it sank unerringly into Gus's left shoulder. Erin might be a policewoman, she had already seen dead people, but consciously could not watch the dying of a man.   
Finally Mike put a hand on her shoulder. "He did it." His voice was little more than a whisper.

~

Mike closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then he went to the terminal of the room and clicked through the options. It took a moment to find what he was looking for, but then he started the program designed to take care of the potentially highly infectious dead. As a large grab arm drove from the ceiling to pick up the medical capsule, he saluted briefly, then quickly turned around and left the infirmary.

Erin sat like a picture of misery at one of the tables in the dining room, her face half buried in her folded hands. Wordlessly, Mike sat down with her.   
Finally, after a felt eternity, Erin sighed softly. "What do we do now?"   
"We can go to the lab or check on the colonists," Mike replied, then after a moment's hesitation he added: "Although I think the colony is sealed off by protocol anyway."   
"Hmm. You're probably right." She ran her fingers through her hair. "We need to go to the security center and see what we can manually override from the protocol."   
"We could, but I'd like to know what Foster was up to with the colonists."   
_I would hate to run into an accidentally contaminated village._ Mike suppressed the images that were rising from his memory and rose. "Come on, let's pay the lab rats a visit."   
Erin gave him a critical look. "You know there are no lab rats there. Neither animal nor human."   
Mike shrugged with a grin. "But two androids."   
Erin just left it at a resigned sigh and followed him.

The large main laboratory was on the second floor and was bursting with technology. Terminals, safety workbenches, automatic machines and semi-open robotics were everywhere; everything was in bright white, chrome or bright blue. Mike had already found experiments at school stupid - and didn't have the faintest idea what it could all be good for.   
However, as they had gained access with their security badges, all the technical gimmicks remained silent and dark.   
"There." Erin nodded to the left.   
"Hmm?"   
"Those are the android chambers."   
A little unsure, Mike followed her and was almost surprised when she stopped in front of two inconspicuous large cabinets; he had always met Jane and John only active and this was only the second time he entered one of the labs. Erin pressed against the first door which clicked and then swung open. Behind it stood John, with closed eyes and in his typical skin-tight grey suit. To the right of his neck, a small green light shone. While Mike was still examining the intentionally artificial looking skin of the android face, Erin had already opened Jane's chamber. Unlike her colleague, Jane wore a classic lab coat and bright red high heels. Mike snorted amusedly.   
"Apparently Foster has a certain sense of humor."   
"Why?"   
"Classic assistant blonde. Pretty to look at, can prepare coffee and stupid as straw. Well... the latter probably doesn't apply very much here."   
"So you mean..." Erin faltered and scrutinized Jane slowly from top to bottom.   
"I mean nothing. I just think the shoes are funny." He shrugged. "Let's ask John what he knows. John- activate," Mike then ordered severely and stepped back a step when a jerk went through John and he opened his eyes. His mouth opened and closed a few times before saying:   
"Connect to database..."   
Mike and Erin took a quick look.   
"Jane- activate," Erin said then. Nothing happened, not even the green light flickered. "Jane- activate!" Nothing. But John stepped out of his chamber and put on a smile that seemed completely out of place.   
"Good morning, Erin, good morning, Michael." His voice was soft and smooth and Mike didn't like it. Too smooth, too flattering.   
"Hello John," he said dryly.   
"Good morning," Erin said much friendlier. "Did you sleep well?"   
"Yes, thank you. Even if ten years of dormancy are far too long considering my duties." John smiled friendly at Erin.   
"Can you tell us what happened here during that time?" Mike wanted to know. John frowned; his gaze became rigid. Erin tried again to activate Jane, which failed again.   
"No, I can't access the data that came into being after the first of July fifty," John replied slowly, almost irritated.   
"Can you activate Jane?" Erin then asked.   
"No. Jane and I are equal; we can't give each other instructions like that."   
"She does not react."   
"Wait Erin, Gus said he reprogrammed Jane... Maybe nobody but Foster has access now."   
"Is there anything we can do to check?"   
"In the technician's center, I think." Mike shrugged.   
"Only Gus or Maisie have the ability to access and edit our programming," John interjected. He had stepped in front of Jane's chamber and looked at her disapprovingly.   
"Can we get to Gus' card?" Erin asked Mike thoughtfully.   
"No." He shook his head. "He had the card with him... and I'm afraid the disinfection program destroyed everything..."   
"We can't wake Maisie either..." Erin started chewing on her lower lip.   
"Not if the dorm stays locked," Mike agreed. If John was as knowing as them, he wouldn't help them.   
"John, to what extent do you have access to the things here?" Mike asked thoughtfully, though. He had the dull feeling that the androids had to be much more than scientific assistants. If the station went down the drain, they would at least make a restart possible.   
"That depends on the situation, I'm afraid," John replied with a slight regret. "Besides the laboratory related things, I have access to all medical data."   
"That doesn't do us much good right now..."   
"I know. I'm sorry."   
"Don't be sorry," Erin threw in. "Mike, maybe we should see what we can achieve from the security center. At least-", she smiled crookedly, " -this is our precinct."   
Mike nodded slowly, looking at John. "Try to figure out what happened last here."   
"I'll do my best." John nodded obediently.

~

Erin and Mike left the lab, as the door closed behind them, she sighed softly. Mike looked thoughtful and she felt a little lost. The station was so big and empty, she had missed more than - how long had she been asleep? - a decade of what was going on here and suddenly she felt very small and inconspicuous.   
"Everything okay?" Mike suddenly asked next to her.   
"What? Yes... just... in thought..." She rubbed her temple.   
"Then let's go." Mike nodded to the stairs.   
"Wait, let's look at Foster's office."   
"You were just about to go to the security center. Besides... what should there be? Do you seriously think he's just leaving his nasty experiment plans lying around?"   
"If he was just going to take a nap, then yes."   
Mike grimaced.   
"Foster was a bacterial specialist," Erin added. "So it can't hurt to take a look at the microbiology lab."   
"All right." They first passed the lab as they walked down the hallway to the offices and entered.   
"Woooh...," Mike awed, and Erin also looked up. The entire left wall of the lab had been cleared and filled with formulas and notes. In one corner stood a small ladder, on the floor lay several rags and pens. Erin was very interested in science and she had enthusiastically taken part in all the training courses on these subjects, but on the wall there could also have been Japanese characters.   
"Well...", she cleared her throat, "... at least it's clear Foster put a lot of energy into it."   
"Undoubtedly."   
After another moment of wonder, she turned to the rest of the lab. It looked like they had tidied it up a bit by the end of the day, but still some things stood and lay around. On one large machine there were piles of printed curves, on another microscopic pictures. Erin stopped in front of them for a moment, simply because some of them looked really interesting.   
"I think John needs to look at this," Mike said from the background.   
"Yes, you're right." After one last look they left the lab and went on to the offices.   
It was actually just a very large office, divided into small corners by thin walls. Foster's corner caught the eye almost immediately because it was overflowing with chaos, while everyone else was meticulously tidy and almost unused. With all those computer printouts Erin didn't really know where to start when Mike was already pointing to some paperwork stuck to the wall.   
"There, look. These are settlement plans."   
She looked up. "What are those two lines there?" With her fingertip, she tapped on a blue and a light gray line that ran through the entire settlement plan.   
"Water supply and ventilation, I suppose." Mike shrugged.   
"No, you're right." She pointed to a few large circles in light blue. "Those are some of the water tanks there, next to the greenhouses. And here on the roof of the sleeping quarters should be the air purifiers." A bacterial specialist who was interested in the water and air supply of a settlement was more than suspicious, Erin knew very well. And with the knowledge that he had planned any experiments, this resulted in a very unpleasant picture.   
"Can we assume he dumped any bacteria into the water or put them into the ventilation?" Mike asked, who looked like he had a stomach ache.   
"I'm afraid we should..." She looked up to him. "Look around here, I'm trying to find something interesting in the chaos." Mike just nodded. Quickly Erin flipped through the papers scattered all over the desk, but she couldn't handle most things. At the bottom, however, was a thick file that seemed to be the results of a random survey of the colonists.   
"There's a coffee machine, a snack machine, and a thing throwing pills." Mike then spoke. Irritated, Erin looked up.   
"Pills?"   
"Yes. Dark red oval things. These are hardly normal raspberry drops."   
"No, certainly not. But what else? There won't be any medicine available for free use."   
"What about drugs?" Mike wanted to know with an amused undertone.   
"That's much less likely," Erin replied.   
"Why? Caffeine and nicotine are also drugs. And besides, it doesn't matter what they throw in out here anyway. Legal, illegal - nobody cares."   
Erin sighed and shook her head. "Take one of them with you. We ask John about it."   
"Okay... Did you find anything interesting?"   
"Medical spot checks on the colonists. Not that I have much idea, but everyone here is infected with something."   
"The only question is whether that was Foster's plan or whether he wanted to go against it."   
"How do you come up with that?" Erin wanted to know and took the file with her as she joined Mike, who was still standing next to the pill dispenser.   
"Have you forgotten that there are some unfriendly things out there in the toxic air?"   
"Evolution here on Atreus has barely made it to a few primitive multicellular organisms. And if I remember correctly, neither the multicellular organisms nor the local bacteria were dangerous for humans."   
Mike looked at her darkly. "I don't like bacteria."   
"You carry about a kilo of good bacteria around with you. On the skin, in the intestines..." Erin shrugged when Mike turned away with an even darker look.   
"Leave it be." He left the open-space office and Erin followed him back to the main lab, where John was standing at a terminal with numeric and letter codes flickering across the screen row by row.   
"Did you find anything?" he wanted to know curiously. Erin waved the file and handed it to him.   
"You have to look at it personally. We have no clue. But the file here contains medical data. Foster did a spot check on the colonists."   
John accepted the file with a serious nod.   
"And you?" Mike asked back and pointed to the terminal.   
"I'm trying to get access to the data Dr. Foster created. There is a back door that allows such locks to be unlocked. It only takes a while and is actually intended for mistakes."   
"Exceptions confirm the rule," Erin smiled.   
"That is absolutely correct. But Dr. Foster acted against the rules when he locked up his data."   
"That happens too."   
John sighed. "I know."   
"How long will it take you to get to everything?" Mike then asked with a look at the terminal, which kept jumbling letters and numbers.   
"A rough estimate? And calculated for everything? At least until tomorrow morning."   
"Gus did a great job," Mike grumbled and Erin nodded slowly.   
"Don't worry, until the spaceship arrives, we'll have enough time to reconstruct everything and send an all-clear to Earth." John sounded extremely optimistic.   
"You know about the ship?" Mike asked in amazement.   
"Of course." Now John was a little irritated. "Why not? After all, it's been on the road for a good fifty years."   
"Yeah, well, but we have-"   
"Mike, John is an android, he knows more than we do. Let's go get something to eat. I'm getting hungry." Erin interrupted Mike and grabbed him by the arm.   
"Uh... okay... see you later, John."   
"Enjoy your meal."   
"Thank you." Erin gave him a smile and dragged Mike out of the lab.

~

"What was that about?" Mike growled when they changed floors.   
"John doesn't need to know that we don't trust him."   
Mike looked at Erin in surprise, wiping a strand from her forehead a little uneasily.   
"I think the androids here are more than just scientific assistants, everything else makes no sense. People make too many mistakes for that."   
"...exactly my words," Mike slowly agreed.   
"Think, Mike. Someone here must have known about the ship. Somebody has to tell the robots to expand the station and the colony."   
"Yes, but why wasn't that generally known? Should I wake up sometime and then be so _oh hey, I've never seen you before! - Yeah hi, I've been living here for five years_."   
Erin hid a smile. "We can see later what the official protocol for this looks like. And ask John about the pill."   
"Right." Mike nodded and together they entered the dining room again.   
"Are you really hungry again?" he wanted to know doubtfully.   
"Not really. But before we barricade ourselves in the security center, I'd like to eat something. Just to be on the safe side." With an apologetic shrug, Erin went to the first ordering terminal and activated it. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that the second terminal was active, but when she looked up, the screen went blank. Irritated, she blinked, then shrugged inwardly and picked a snack.   
"Back to Foster," Mike began the conversation as Erin sat down at the table with a plate of soup.   
"Okay..."   
"Why do you think he's the bad guy?"   
"Why else would he hide his research from the others? The others did not support his project, so..." She made an indefinite gesture and dipped the spoon into the soup.   
"What if he wanted to cure the colonists of a widespread infection?"   
"If it had been important, it would hardly have met with rejection," Erin replied between two spoons.   
"Maybe it was important to him personally," Mike replied. "Or he just had something good in mind."   
"Do you seriously believe that?" Erin wanted to know doubtfully and looked at Mike with a frown.   
"I mean...", Mike started out awkwardly, "maybe he wanted to change something... You said yourself there are a lot of good bacteria."   
"Sure, but..." She made a helpless gesture with her hands. "We both have no idea of the matter. And the station exists because it is supposed to explore Atreus, not because no one is watching when people are being experimented with."   
"I know that. But do we know if Foster hasn't found something that only concerns us humans?" Mike objected and leaned back with his arms crossed.   
"Something like human pathogens?"   
"You don't have to throw foreign words around now. But yes, that's what I mean. The air here is poisonous to lung breathers, so why not look for a solution to the problem?"   
"They do, nevertheless. The plants outside are already a beginning to make the atmosphere here breathable for humans."   
"And if Foster now has bacteria digesting the toxic stuff from the air?"   
"You mean if the air conditioning gets damaged?"   
"For example..."   
Erin shrugged. "Sounds nice. But then why did he check the colonists for infection?"   
"I don't know. Maybe that's something completely different?" Now Mike shrugged. "We're going round in circles here," he sighed. "Until John comes around the corner with some evidence, we should take a good look at the overall situation at the security center."   
"I'll sign this." Erin nodded and got up to bring her food tray back. "Maybe we'll stumble across a treasure."

~

In the security center, they both sat with the holotable table between them.   
"So where do we start?" Erin wanted to know and made a wide-ranging gesture.   
"I'll see what the colony says..." Mike replied and let the chair glide one terminal further.   
Erin watched as he entered commands and turned around after a short time.   
"Delta143 blocked the connection between the research station and the colony."   
"Was obvious..."   
"But..." Mike said and smiled wryly, "... we could remove the blockade. Purely theoretically."   
"Means?"   
"If we had a technician, we could open the doors with both IDs... For a technical and security check."   
Erin made a face. "The cat chases its tail. We can't wake a technician, but if we can't check the security in the colony, the protocol won't be cancelled."   
"We should send Mr. Black a message tonight and explain the situation to him. If we're lucky, they can cancel the protocol externally."   
"I don't believe in so much luck, but we should still write a report. Daily, I think. The earth must remain up to date."   
Mike nodded. "We have to think carefully about what kind of questions we have. If there aren't a few new signal amplifiers installed in the meantime, it'll take six days for us to get an answer."   
"I know, I know." Erin rubbed her temple. "Has there been a message from the ship yet?"   
Mike shook his head. "No, I didn't see any before." Hardly finished with the sentence, he paused. "Say, what about the cameras?"   
"The surveillance cameras?"   
"Yes. How long are the tapes stored?"   
A little over-asked Erin raised her brows. "I think it has to be three shifts, six years... but I'm not sure." Practically at the same time, they let their chairs slide to the large terminal of the surveillance cameras; Mike was a little faster and called up an overview at the push of a button. The schematic representation of the station with the cameras' colour-coded viewing angle filled the entire screen.   
"Okay..." Erin's gaze scurried over the individual levels. "That's less than I remembered."   
Mike asked skeptically: "Do you think so?"   
"Somehow yes... Look, in the basement there's only the one directed at the stair/elevator area. I'm almost sure there used to be one that had the hallway here overlooking the capsule room."   
"What for? You don't go into your capsule night after night."   
Erin waved off. "It doesn't matter. What does the data storage say?"   
Mike tapped around a bit, the overview slipped into the upper left corner and then **ARCHIVE** lit up. Underneath, the years unfurled.   
"Ha!" Erin was delighted. "I was wrong."   
"You're happy about it?" Mike grinned at her.   
"Sure. Look, the dates go back ten years. So we've got the supposed shift change and everything Foster's done on tape."   
Laughing quietly, Mike navigated into the year fifty and then into July.   
"Do we want to start at the very beginning?"   
"Why not? Go ahead."   
A few moments later, most of the screen was filled with a pale camera shot overlooking the stair/elevator area from the basement. According to the time, it was later in the morning when the group of ten scientists, two technicians and two securities came down the stairs. The scientists gave an exhausted impression.   
"They look as if none of them had slept well in the last few days or even weeks," Mike remarked. Erin nodded in agreement.   
"I honestly don't understand. They are free to choose how and when they work. They could actually be quite relaxed." Sure, there was neither an official closing time nor a weekend, but if one of them needed a day or two to clear his head, it was perfectly fine.   
"You forget that they worked through two years without holidays and family time. And when you live practically at your workplace, you're always under pressure."   
Erin began to feel a little ashamed under Mike's gaze, after all, he was right. "I'm sorry, that was rash."   
"It's okay. You're right, after all. They really don't look that healthy to me..." Mike fast-forwarded about three hours until Foster reappeared and went up, then Mike changed cameras but Foster didn't show up.   
"Wait a minute..." he grumbled, turned around and activated the holotable. As it shone blue and hummed quietly, Mike brought the camera overview of the station onto the holotable.   
"Share the screen; we bring up all the cameras he could be on now."   
Erin nodded. "Time?"   
"At 2:7 p.m., he goes up the stairs."   
"Okay... Let's go."   
Then they watched a little choppy as Foster deactivated John and Jane, wrote a message to Mr. Black and ate a leisurely lunch, before he spread out his stuff again in his office and started to prepare some things in the microbiology lab. Until the morning of the third of July, he did nothing but relax: he read in the library, went to the sauna and spa, and apparently slept a lot. Then he went to wake up Gus and when the two left the basement together and then discussed with each other in the technical center, Mike broke the silence:   
"Too bad the cameras are without sound. I'd like to know when it starts to boil between the two."   
"Hmm. Unfortunately, I can't read lips... Look, Foster goes and Gus... starts working?"   
Mike changed the camera views on the terminal screen via the holotable. "Okay, Foster goes back to the main lab."   
Again, nothing exciting happened for a while. Gus worked most of the day at the technical center, while Foster seemed to be preparing something in microbiology. In the evening, the two argued fiercely in the dining room before Gus appeared in the main lab the next morning. The camera there was pointed at the door and covered only three very common workstations as well as the access to the side area where the android chambers were located.   
"Gus has been there for four hours now. I think he's working on Jane's programming at the moment," Erin then noted and Mike nodded.   
"Foster is working down in his lab. When Gus is done with Jane, it can't be long before things escalate."   
"Hmm..."   
They watched intently as Foster came back and had something explained to him at a terminal that was barely in view. Then they followed Foster and Gus into microbiology, where Gus again worked several hours at a terminal. When it was evening, Foster went into the dining room, while Gus signaled to him that he was on his way. Instead, however, he went over to the offices and Foster's place, where he seemed busy for about half an hour before he too went to eat.   
"I bet he smelled it and was looking for something to throw at Foster's feet," Mike slowly noticed.   
"Most likely. Gus said he saw something that he probably shouldn't have seen."   
But it remained peaceful. For now, because after breakfast, Foster and Gus got back together in microbiology. They were outside the camera angle, but after about twenty minutes Gus stormed towards the door, his face angrily distorted and seemingly speaking out loud. Foster followed him on tow, wearing gloves and something narrow in his right hand, gesticulating wildly. Again they disappeared from the view of the cameras until they stopped right next to the stairs because Foster tried to stop Gus pulling his sleeve. It came to a scuffle, Erin bit her thumb as she watched Foster stab Gus with his object, which turned out to be a scalpel. He in turn tried to defend himself, which seemed unsuccessful, for he was forced into the stairwell.   
"Oh God, he won't..."   
Foster obscured the view and Mike switched cameras to the stairwell view of the floor below. A battered-looking, bleeding Gus held on to the passageway for a moment before limping with a rushed look to the infirmary. Foster followed him leisurely. As they watched the entrance to the infirmary, however, they could see that Foster was surprised that Gus had locked the door. He hammered against it, screamed and even stabbed with a scalpel, but it didn't help; eventually he stomped back into the lab.   
"Wow... that went fast," mumbled Mike. Erin nodded slowly. They exchanged a look.   
"So Foster infected Gus with the scalpel with something that the first aid capsule couldn't cure. It must have been something really aggressive, otherwise Gus could have sneaked back into the dorm at night to wake the others as soon as the other injuries healed."   
"The thought came to me too," Mike agreed. "But where did Foster get such aggressive bacteria from? And why did he work with it?"   
"Maybe from the very beginning he intended to get Gus out of the way after this help. Quasi to keep his secret when something goes wrong or doesn't work out the way he imagined it would." Erin threw a that's-the-sad-reality look at Mike, who didn't seem happy about it at all. Sighing, Mike ran his fingers through his hair.   
"I guess you're right."   
"Why does it depress you so much?"   
"I met Foster as a very nice man. His wife Ava is a pediatric surgeon and operated on my little brother when he got his artificial kidney. Don't ask me how, but my mother knew her personally and the two of them came for dinner afterwards." Mike shook his head. "Feels like it was in another life."   
"If you see it that way, it's true, too," Erin said quietly. "Hardly any time has passed for us personally, but on earth..." She left the sentence unfinished and for a moment they remained silent. Then she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders, and said:   
"Foster may have been a nice man on the outside, but most psychopaths don't stand out until they go against the law."   
"I know..." Mike ran again his fingers through his hair, then shook his head. "Let's see what he did next."

But Foster did nothing more for the next few days than sit at a terminal and do calculations. Only a whole week later in the morning did he comfortably walk into the main laboratory with a white bundle and disappear from view. When he reappeared, Jane followed him in a white coat and red high heels.   
"Why on earth did he do that?" Erin wanted to know.   
"Maybe he actually fancies such an assistant blonde who says _yes_ and _amen_ to everything." Mike shrugged; Erin looked at him skeptically. "What? Could be." Foster and Jane discussed at a terminal for a while, then they went to work, interrupted only by Foster's lunch break. In the late afternoon, Foster became agitated, almost nervous. With a frown Erin watched as he finally gave Jane an order and started fiddling with his pants.   
"He has...," Mike started, but broke off as Jane bent over, Foster first lowered his pants and then pushed up her coat. Her naked butt flashed up briefly before Foster went into a short, stormy quickie - it was over before Erin really realized what she was seeing. The recording continued, Foster and Jane seamlessly returned to work.   
"What... was that? Um..." Erin was missing the words.   
"He gave her a special voice command," Mike explained slowly. Erin looked at him questioningly, but Mike jumped back in the file and zoomed closer as Foster approached Jane. Five times he ran through this brief moment, then he leaned back.   
"What were you looking at?" Erin wanted to know.   
"He didn't address her with Jane... The mouth movement is wrong."   
"Why should he rename her? Then all possible commands would have to be changed."   
"Personalization," Mike replied briefly. "The coat and the high heels weren't necessary either."   
Now Erin looked at the recording again. "How about Ava? Just like his wife..."   
Mike chewed on his lower lip, ran the shot again and nodded thoughtfully. "He leaves his wife behind to travel to a research station in space and then names an android after her with whom he has sex." Mike shook his head. "Incredible."   
"Can we activate the madame? Or is she just reacting to Foster?"   
"Pff... we have to try, I guess."   
Erin nodded. "Then let's go. Not that John already has answers for us, but maybe _Ava_ has."

~

Back in the lab, John looked at them questioningly, but Mike beckoned and walked past him. Erin smiled apologetically at John and followed Mike, who had just opened Jane's chamber; John must have closed it.   
"Ava, activate!"   
"What...?" John came over to them when Ava came out of her chamber with a disapproving look.   
"Good evening," she said coolly.   
"Good evening, Ava." Mike was the kindness in person.   
_"Ava?"_ John asked confused and Erin quietly replied:   
"Not only did Gus reprogram her, Foster also personalized her... with a new name among other things."   
"That's against every rule!"   
"Well..."   
"Ava, what was Dr. Foster working on?" Mike wanted to know.   
"I'm not authorized to talk about it."   
"Did he give you the order?"   
"I'm not authorized to talk about it."   
With her arms crossed, Erin watched Mike bombard Ava with questions, but the answer was always the same.   
"I like your interrogation technique," she finally interrupted Mike. He threw a frustrated look back.   
"Unfortunately, she is not willing to talk."   
"Will come..." Under Mike's angry gaze, Erin had to grin. John looked doubtfully from one to the other.   
"Oh John, before we forget it again... In the office we saw a pill dispenser. What are they good for?"   
In keeping with Erin's question, Mike took the red pill out of his pocket and held it in front of John's nose.   
"Ah, the Brain Booster."   
"Sounds exciting," Mike mumbled, still annoyed. John cleared his throat effectively before explaining:   
"The booster contains substances that address different areas of the brain and increase their performance for a few hours. Strength and duration depend on the user."   
"That sounds too good to be true," Erin remarked skeptically. "What are the side effects of the booster?"   
"Well..." Now John seemed a little embarrassed. "When these substances are metabolized, metabolic intermediates are produced which strongly resemble some precursors of sexual hormones. If the concentration exceeds a certain level, these precursors are implemented and the user develops a strong sexual desire."   
"Oh."   
"Viagra for scientists. Nice," Mike said.   
"Um... and how did the scientists here... worked off?" Erin asked carefully.   
"That eludes my knowledge."   
Immediately Erin had the dull feeling that John was lying to her, but she was silent.   
"Well..." Mike did instead. "Good Dr. Foster has been working on Ava, as it seems."   
"This is... extremely unprofessional." John wrinkled his nose.   
"Because...?"   
"We're here as scientific assistants. We have a gender-specific body, but no programs for it."   
Erin scrutinized John thoughtfully. His skin and facial features deliberately looked artificial, his body proportions were male, but rather inconspicuous.   
"Does it mean you're not functional in that aspect?" asked Mike with his brow raised.   
"That's right." John nodded. Something like satisfaction scurried over Mike's face, as if to say _one competitor less_. Erin pinched a smile and went to Ava instead. She didn't seem quite so artificial and when Erin managed to get over it and unbutton the coat, she was quite surprised. Ava was slender and well-formed, with precisely worked nipples and finely shaved pubic hair.   
"Well John, I think for Jane here apply different rules..."   
Mike looked over Erin's shoulder and whistled approvingly, whereupon Erin buttoned up the coat. John didn't answer, but he looked a little pricked and an unpleasant silence developed until one of the terminals beeped.   
"We'll let you work in peace..." Mike said and they left the lab.

~

"Do you think the scientists really used the booster?" Erin asked thoughtfully as she leaned at the ordering terminal and waited for her vegetable soufflé.   
"Well... Good question." Mike, leaning against the second ordering terminal, twitched his eyebrow.   
"The thing is, the side effect is not to be underestimated. And I don't know if everyone's ready to put up with them."   
"Jane respectively Ava looks as if it had been assumed that at least the gentlemen are relaxed about the side effects," Erin replied. "However, the idea is more than bizarre. I mean, ten scientists per shift, in Foster's shift there were six men... shall they all share an android and stand in line...?" Erin made a face.   
"There are four women missing in your calculation."   
The terminals beeped and each released a tray.   
"Honestly, would you jump on a woman like Helene Leventis under these circumstances?"   
Mike shrugged. They placed their trays on the nearest table and sat down. "I don't think that's even the essential question. John said the effect depends on the user. Nice. So it affects one more and the other less. If Foster is now an extreme example and has to jump on the spot when the side effect starts, maybe the next one can keep his urges under control until he's alone."   
Erin nodded thoughtfully.   
Mike added: "I think you can only endure this kind of side effect if a) there's enough reward and b) come to terms with it well in this case."   
"The reward is improved brain activity. A real scientist's fingers must itch."   
"And afterwards it itches somewhere else."   
Erin sighed about Mike's grin.   
"No, honestly. They made Jane attractive and provided her with a corresponding program. How do we know that there are no other androids? Which are here only for this purpose?"   
Erin opened her mouth in amazement. "Oh. I hadn't thought about that yet."   
Mike smiled crookedly. "Probably only the scientists have access and the rest of us haven't even been told about it."   
"But it's kind of mean," Erin said between two bites. "Fourteen men and women have to come to terms with each other for two years and if they're unlucky, they'll be back in the same constellation in the next shift."   
"Remember, Gordon and Natasha have found each other. And not all shifts are the same."   
"I know," Erin gave back. "I had a shift once with Vincenzo and once with Michael."   
"Michael?" Mike looked at her irritated. "Who's Michael?"   
"You don't remember your namesake?" Erin grinned and turned the fork between her fingers.   
"No. Should I?" Mike lowered the cutlery and frowned.   
"Michael Vegas from Vegas. The son of the famous women's shoe designer Antonio Vegas, who left his wife for his fitness trainer. The blond guy with the foot fetish who just doesn't want to be called Mike." She paused for a moment. "Doesn't that ring a bell?"   
"Oh, well... My mum's a big fan of Vegas' shoes... But his son's here?" Mike could hardly believe it.   
"Yup. He was a bodyguard and bouncer at one of the biggest casinos..." Erin pretended to be impressed and ate on.   
"Oh, wait... the one with the blond curls and the deep voice that fits zero to his appearance?"   
"Right."   
"I don't like him," Mike said and ate on.   
"Actually he's very cute..." Erin noticed after a pause and Mike raised a brow.   
"You think he's cute? Seriously?"   
"I'm not saying he's a dream man, but his way is cute." She smiled. "You know, it's really sweet when you get a foot massage and-"   
"Stop! I don't want to know the details at all!" Mike shook his head defensively.   
Silently they finished their meal, but when they put their trays away Mike grumbled:   
"Seriously, what do you see in such a guy?"   
"Counter question: with whom did you have your shifts?"   
"Florianne."   
Erin grinned, because Florianne hadn't been happy with Mike from the beginning.   
"Maisie and Astrid aren't my type either, you know?"   
"Oh no! You reject the cliché of the blonde Scandinavian?"   
"Astrid may be a hot girl, but she's so fucking nerdy! You can hardly talk to her because she's always tinkering with some metal things."   
"Do I hear frustration?" Erin teased and grinned broadly as they left the dining room.   
"Shut up, will you?" Mike grumbled discontentedly and looked at her darkly.   
"What do we do now?" Erin then changed the subject.   
"I don't know. I guess without John's access to Foster's data, we don't have much to do except write a daily report."   
"Do you want or should I?"   
"I'll handle it..."   
Erin shrugged. "As you like. I'm gonna play a round, I think, and then go to sleep. Who wakes up first, wakes up the other?"   
"You got it."   
They nodded at each other and then went separate ways.   
Arriving in the basement, Erin walked straight towards the first bedroom, but then paused. Each shift consisted of fourteen active station residents; for emergencies there were more rooms - a total of twenty and two of them had to be occupied.   
The first door on the right glowed red as Erin laid her hand on it. She took her security badge and pulled it through the scanner, whereupon the door glowed yellow and slipped open after a click. Inside, only an uncovered bed indicated that the room was occupied, and Erin assumed that Gus had slept here. She freed the room through the tiny terminal next to the door - sometime in the next few hours the cleaning robots would come - and went on.   
The second occupied room was the last one on the left. Again she gained access and wrinkled her nose. In spite of the constant exchange of air, it smelled musty and there was a complete mess. Papers piled up on the small table, clothes hung on the matching chair, crumpled towels lay in front of the door to the bathroom, and a short red evening dress lay on the bed, completely rumpled, next to a crumpled shirt. After this panorama, Erin went to the table and took a look at the chaos of documents, files and cryptic computer printouts. One page with large red letters caught her attention, but as she grabbed it, the stack slipped and a flood of paper poured onto the floor.   
"Oh, damn..." Erin muttered and kneeled down to collect the things - maybe John found something interesting. But then she looked at something that looked like a conversation protocol and started just as abruptly as it ended. Foster was approached by Matthew and it became apparent he was talking to a woman, because she said quite clearly that she was refusing to give birth to a child with Foster. Foster seemed only mildly upset, but referred to some statement by Mr. Black which the woman apparently didn't give a shit about at all. Erin couldn't figure it out. Following an intuition, she folded the sheet and put it in her pocket before stacking the remaining papers back on the table and then leaving the room to choose a bedroom for herself.


	2. 21.02. - Day 2 - I am your automaton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I am your automaton" - "Ich bin dein Automat" taken from "Automat" by Eisbrecher  
the lyrics are from the same song

A knock on the door woke Erin. As she sat up and rubbed her eyes, the door slid open and Mike stepped in, dressed and with a mischievous grin on his face.  
"Why are you already so awake?" Erin grumbled and pushed the blanket aside. Instead of an answer, Mike jumped on the bed and threw himself at her.  
"Whew!"  
"Does that ring a bell?"  
The only thing which rang was the alarm bell on her bladder.  
"Get off me!"  
He reached for her wrist - she pulled her arm back.  
"Keep still."  
"Hey!"  
He put her hand next to her head and pushed her leg to the side with his knee, dropping her other hand to the side.  
"Does it ring now?"  
Erin swallowed. Mike's green eyes sparkled amused and a discreet masculine scent tickled her nose; he was neatly shaved and freshly showered.  
"No."  
Mike's face came even closer, so she turned her head away.  
"Schmidt," he said with an audible grin on her cheek.  
"What?"  
"Schmidt lies just like this in her capsule."  
Irritated, Erin blinked and thought. "It... yes, could be. And now get off me, you're heavy!" Surprisingly Mike obeyed and sat up.  
"Nice neckline."  
Erins gaze twitched down and she hastily straightened her thin top which had barely covered everything.  
"What I was saying... Schmidt and Foster seem to have had an affair."  
"May I please wake up...?"  
"Go ahead." Mike smiled patronizingly. She snorted angrily and grabbed her things to disappear into the bathroom.  
"What makes you think so?" She shouted through the closed door.  
"You said Schmidt got into her capsule much later than the others. She's naked in there and Foster was the only one awake with her. I also checked out tapes of the shift last night... Schmidt obviously had more than just superficial interest."  
"And Foster?"  
"Also flirted with Tanaka at the same time, but rather half-heartedly, and she stayed completely cold. Oh, and Park and Tennyson seem to be a couple."  
"Say, how long did you sit in the security center yesterday?"  
"Only until one. But since you weren't available this morning, I continued my research. By the way, it's shortly after eleven."  
"What?"  
"You apparently slept badly, so I let you sleep..."  
"What makes you say that?" With a hairband between her teeth and half a plait in her hand, Erin left the bathroom and looked at Mike questioningly. He shrugged and said:  
"You were standing in my room in the middle of the night... When I talked to you, you left."  
"I don't sleepwalk."  
"John wasn't either. It was a woman with open hair."  
She bit her lip, but said nothing. Instead she took her jacket off the chair and nodded to Mike. "Let's see what John has for us."

~

John stood rigidly next to one of the terminals and stared into the void.  
"John?" Mike asked carefully. The Android opened and closed his mouth before slowly saying:  
"Data processing is running. Analysis completed to... fifty-six percent."  
"All right, we'll come back later." Mike turned on the heel and Erin followed him. She hadn't slept so badly and felt awake in the meantime, but she was hungry now.  
"Late breakfast or early lunch?" Mike asked smiling as her stomach grumbled.  
"Hmm. I feel more like breakfast... I suppose you've already eaten?"  
He nodded.

In the dining room, Mike sat down as comfortably as possible on a chair while Erin chose something to eat.  
"What do you think: is the sleeping capsule comfortable?" He suddenly asked out of nowhere, amused.  
"It's for cold sleep, not for coitus," Erin replied and chose the already tested chocolate muesli and a hot chocolate. She turned to Mike and leaned against the terminal. "It's certainly not comfortable. I find it much more interesting, however, that Foster must have activated the capsule right after it, to let her fall asleep in this pose."  
"Good point." Mike nodded.  
"Has Schmidt's interest been reciprocated or was it just booster-pressure-release from his side?" She wanted to know.  
"Hard to say. As long as someone else was there, both were quite normal. Alone, they were quite lovebirds. On the other hand, he also tried to flirt with Tanaka." Now Mike shrugged. "And Tanaka is a completely different caliber."  
Erin had to agree with him without exception. While Andrea Schmidt, just like Foster, had already passed her forties and had become a little more broad, Nanami Tanaka was only in her early thirties and as slim as a willow rod. In addition, Schmidt's red-blond wild curls and Tanaka's black, austere bun formed a further contrast, quite apart from the general contrast between the Central European and Japanese facial features.  
"I told you: locking up fourteen people together for two years isn't a good idea in the long run," Erin said and took her breakfast tray. "Imagine if Tanaka hadn't rejected Foster and Schmidt had started a jealousy drama."  
"Maybe she only did it where the cameras could catch it," Mike thought out loud.  
Erin shook her head with a full mouth.  
"No? Well, Foster really isn't that much of a stud..."  
"Hmm, so the more I try to imagine the scenario, the more I get the feeling Foster just used Schmidt. I'd almost bet he would have dropped her immediately if Tanaka had gotten involved with him." Thoughtfully, Erin let her spoon circle through the air.  
"Always thinking about his advantage, you mean?"  
She nodded. "Tanaka is an attractive woman and a good deal younger than Schmidt. From a man's point of view it's definitely an improvement."  
"From a man's point of view?" Mike grinned crookedly. Erin shrugged.  
"Not?"  
"Yeah, sure..."  
Erin finished her late breakfast while both of them were pursuing their thoughts.  
"Because of tonight..." Mike began then when she just got up to put her tray away.  
"Let's talk about it at the security center."  
"Okay..." He looked at her questioningly and she shook her head gently.

It wasn't until the door closed behind them that Erin quietly said:  
"I think someone else is here."  
"What? Who?" Mike looked at her in amazement.  
"I don't know. Maybe one of the colonists."  
"What makes you think so?"  
Thoughtfully, she sat down at the security camera terminal and looked up at him. Slowly she answered:  
"There was a woman in your room. It wasn't me, I was asleep and sleepwalkers don't respond when you talk to them. Yesterday one of the order terminals in the dining room was active, although they actually shut themselves off after a while. There were also fresh grease stains on the control panel and I just noticed crumbs on a table where we weren't sitting at all."  
"Oh... The observation skills of a policewoman, hmm?" He tried to smile.  
She also wrung herself a smile.  
"It can't be one of us. Could it?"  
She shook her head. "We looked into all the capsules and the dorm is locked."  
"But-" he asked thoughtfully, "-how does a colonist get into the station?"  
"That's exactly the question. Followed by: how long has he been here?"  
They kept silent for a moment, then Mike nodded to the terminal. "Let's see what the cameras say. So far we've been more focused on Foster."  
Erin put the cameras in the corridors on the screen and ran through the day.  
"Stop," Mike shouted suddenly. He pointed to the shot from the basement. She rewound a little and then let the recording run at normal speed. A young woman emerged from the bedroom hallway and climbed up the stairs. She wore a long skirt and a wide blouse and went up to the dining room. Erin and Mike followed her into the library and then to the lab corridors, where she kept herself in the shadows.  
"She noticed us and followed us," Erin noted. "Why didn't she talk to us?"  
"Maybe she's afraid of us." Mike shrugged.  
"Why would she?"  
Again Mike shrugged. "I don't know. Who knows how long she's been here. Maybe she got a little paranoid in loneliness."  
"Hmm. Let's see when she got out of the colony." Erin activated the recordings that covered the connecting door to the colony and went back all ten years.  
"Wow, Foster paid them regular visits," Mike finally remarked. During the time Foster had been doing research alone, he had often gone to the colony alone or with Ava, sometimes he had brought someone along and accompanied them back.  
"I would love to know what he was doing," Erin said quietly. "The medical examinations alone cannot explain it."  
"No," Mike agreed with her. "Wait," he said then. "That's two days now before he went to sleep."  
Erin nodded. Foster held a box in his hands and when he came back two hours later, his hands were empty. It was the last time he entered the colony. In all the time after that, absolutely nothing happened.  
"Do you know what it means?" Mike asked seriously.  
"There's another connection between the station and the colony," Erin replied just as seriously. "Just where?"  
Mike called up the two floor plans on the holotable. "Of course, only this connection is marked on the ground floor. Above it is the office of the scientists. Underneath are the bedrooms."  
"Yes, but the hallway in the basement ends blindly, not in a room," Erin remarked. "There might well be a secret door. Only what for?"  
"You're right. You must be right. She came from the basement, but no other room is occupied or even used."  
"But if there is a connection, what is she doing here?" Erin wanted to know thoughtfully. Mike nodded to Erin to clear the chair at the camera terminal. She stood up and he sat down.  
"Let's see if we have any facial recognition here..." He fumbled with the recording until he had grasped the young woman's face well and then entered some commands. Erin was a little surprised that he knew the technique so well, but she said nothing, just watched. Suddenly, tiny images from all the cameras popped up and began to run at breakneck speed until they all stopped and one of them started flashing.  
"Ha!" Mike made and zoomed the shot.  
"This is the bedroom staircase," Erin said.  
"Yes. And it's the day Foster was last in the colony." Mike enlarged the shot again when the young woman's face was visible. "Oh, that's almost a child."  
"This was eight years ago," Erin said quietly. "Maybe she just happened to stumble across that entrance and didn't make it back."  
"Then she was actually all alone for eight years." Mike shuddered a little with discomfort.  
"But why?" Erin asked. "The capsule room is freely accessible and there's a labeled wake-up button."  
"Maybe she was afraid she might get into trouble," Mike said.  
"Yes, but how big can the trouble be that you have to put up with years of loneliness?"  
Mike took a breath for an answer, but then blew it out unused.  
After a short silence he finally asked: "Okay, how do we proceed? Are we looking for her and questioning her?"  
"That would be the easiest. Where is she now?"  
He switched the camera views to a live broadcast and Erin flinched.  
"She's here. She's looking right at the security center." With a sudden goose bump, Erin looked over her shoulder to the door.  
"That's... a little scary," Mike had to admit. He also took a look at the door.  
"At least we don't have to look for her anymore."  
They stood up and exchanged a quick glance. When the door slipped open and they stepped into the hallway, Erin saw from the corner of her eye how the young woman first froze and then ran away.  
"We only want to talk to you!" she shouted after her while she was already running herself. The woman was nimble and rushed up the stairs; Mike took two steps at once. In the dining room she dashed straight towards the back wall and in Erin's mind the memory flashed that there was access to some technique. Drawing her pistol with one hand, she shouted:  
"Stop or I'll shoot!"  
The young woman stumbled into a chair in horror and went crashing to the ground. Even before she had pushed the chair away from her, Mike was already beside her, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her a little rough on the feet. Fear and anger distorted her pretty features; she breathed heavily. Erin approached the two and asked:  
"Can I put it away or do you have some more silly plans?"  
The young woman took a deep breath, lowered her gaze and relaxed. Mike let her go, but stood in a way that he could hold her at any time.  
"Put it away," came a whispered answer. Erin nodded and put the gun back into the holster.  
"We just want to talk to you," she said gently. The woman pressed her lips together.  
"What's your name?" Mike asked.  
"Annie..." she replied hesitantly.  
"Hello Annie. I'm Erin." Erin was deliberately friendly and smiled at Annie. She had no intention of playing good cop/bad cop, but Mike's grim attitude needed a counterweight.  
"I'm not talking to you," Annie snatched with suddenly flashing eyes. "You want to take him away from me," she added and spread her arms out as if to shield Mike.  
"I'll-"  
"You want to take him away from me, but he's mine! Mine all alone!"  
"Okay..."  
Mike signaled Erin to retreat, and slowly she walked backwards.  
"I'm going, okay?"  
Annie sparkled angrily at her. "Go away! Leave us alone!"  
"Hey, take it easy," Mike intervened gently and grabbed Annie by the wrist.  
"She wants to take you away from me! But you promised me that we would get married!"  
"Anything you want, but calm down! Erin goes and leaves you... us... alone, okay?"  
Annie looked up at Mike with big eyes and nodded thoughtfully. Erin went back to the entrance of the dining room and watched Annie throw herself into Mike's arms sobbing. She hoped Mike would think of activating the microphone in his watch so she could listen, but apparently Annie demanded all his attention throughout the next thirty minutes.  
The young woman changed mood several times within moments, adored Mike, gestured angrily, sobbed and laughed hysterically.  
_How does she know Mike? Why does she think he belongs to her?_ Erin was actually more than excited to hear the answer. But then she hid a mocking smile and pulled up a brow as Annie threw herself into Mike's arms again and kissed him stormy. Mike looked anything but enthusiastic, but used the moment to activate the microphone. He gently pushed her away.  
"Listen to me... Erin is a friend, she was worried about you. Could I really call her a friend if she didn't care about you?" He wiped a strand of dark hair from her forehead and smiled as Annie sniffed.  
"I... I... I'm sorry. You're right."  
With a crooked smile Mike held out the hand she took. Then they both approached Erin.  
"You really don't like her better than me?"  
"Nonsense!"  
"Then why did you ask about her tonight?" Annie wanted to know lurking; Mike was surprised at first, then he smiled.  
"One wakes the other before work starts. I thought it was morning." Then, after a tiny pause, he apologetically added: "I didn't recognize you right away."  
Annie threw herself into his arms again. "You work too much."  
"I know. I'm sorry." He caressed her hair and took a look at Erin which said _Do something!_ She raised her hands in a _and what?_ gesture, but now it was Annie's turn. She whirled around and pointed Mike's pistol at Erin.  
"I don't believe you. I don't believe her that she doesn't want you!" Erin slowly raised her hands to surrender. Even though the weapon was still secured, Annie seemed unpredictable.  
"We can talk about everything, you know?" Erin said carefully. Annie trembled a little.  
"You want to take him away from me."  
Erin shook her head. "No, Annie, really I don't."  
Mike gently laid his hands on Annie's shoulders and then let them slide along her arms to her hands until he hugged her and they both held the gun.  
"Give me back my gun, please. We want -"  
"She wants to take you away from me!" Annie's voice was close to a hysterical screech. "Didn't you see her eyes?!"  
Erin swallowed. Annie seemed to have definitely suffered a crack from the loneliness.  
"Shoot her!"  
"What?" Erin and Mike did almost simultaneously.  
"Shoot her! For me! You're all mine, all mine. No other woman can have you!"  
Somewhere in Erin's guts a cold ball formed.  
"Annie-darling, you can't just-", Mike started, but was interrupted by Annie, who looked at him irritated.  
"You never call me like that."  
Without getting into a discussion about the nickname, Mike raised the gun and at the same time wrapped an arm around her to pull her aside. She fought back and he threw the gun away to hold her.  
"No! What are you doing?" Annie cried and scratched Mike's hands. Meanwhile Erin broke out from her rigidity and hurried forward to pick up the pistol.  
"No, no, no! You're destroying everything!" Annie screamed, almost desperate, and threw her head back wildly.  
"Ah!" Mike howled, his grip loosened and Annie fell forward, stumbled and smashed with her forehead onto a table edge. Erin looked at Mike, whose nose was bleeding, and then at Annie, half huddled under the table. Mike knelt down beside the young woman and gently grabbed her by the shoulder. The dull feeling Erin had sneaked up on at the moment of the impact was confirmed: Annie's eyes were widened in terror, looking into the void.  
Time seemed to stand still for a long, very long moment. Then Mike sniffed painfully and grabbed his nose.  
"What the fuck..." he sniffed.  
"You can say that out loud," Erin muttered and knelt next to him to close Annie's eyes.  
"Do you have a handkerchief or something?" Erin shook her head, but got up and went to get a napkin.  
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome. What did she tell you for the whole half hour?"  
He moaned quietly and touched his nose again. "Almost nothing but weird stuff." He seemed to come to the conclusion that it was half as bad except for the pain, because loudly he drew up blood and snot and spat into the napkin. Erin made a face.  
"We should take her to the infirmary. We can't leave her here like this. Meanwhile I try to bring order to the chaos I heard," he sniffed.  
Erin nodded and before she could say anything, he lifted Annie up.

~

"If I got it right, there's a room where the adult colonists sometimes go to rest for a night," Mike started after they left the infirmary. "Annie snuck in there when Foster came. We seem to have met in this room, but when she wanted to go back, the door was locked. A cleaning robot then showed her a secret door leading into the research station. Since nobody was there anymore, she lived there."  
"You met in a secret room?" Erin smiled a little amused.  
"Don't ask me." Defending he raised his hands. "The entrance is in the bedroom hallway in the basement. She somehow secured it."  
"Then let's have a look over there."  
But in the dim lighting of the hallway it wasn't so easy to see anything on the grey-white panels right away. Only when Erin let her fingers glide over the wall did she notice an edge, not half a centimetre high.  
"Heaven, she was really paranoid."  
"You can say that out loud."  
Mike watched her hook her fingernails into the edge and pull carefully until the hidden door came loose and slipped open. There was something on the floor that looked like a glass marble, preventing the door from closing completely. To Erin's surprise, they walked straight into a large orange-pink room bathed in soft light. Directly opposite on the wall was an inconspicuous door, but in addition there were two large doors in each side wall, numbered from one to eight. On the walls between the doors were eight man-high lockers, matching their numbers. In the middle of the room stood a very simple version of a clothes printer next to two half-height boxes.  
"Is it what it looks like?" Mike asked half amused, half unbelieving.  
Erin shrugged.  
He took this as an opportunity to go straight to locker number one and open it.  
"Oh. Nice."  
She stepped next to him and raised her brows in surprise. _Salome_ stood over the head of the Arabic veil dancer who wore nothing but golden slippers and violet glittering veils.  
"You call that _nice_?" she asked belatedly.  
"Yeah yeah, _nice_ is the little sister of _shitty_. But how else would you call it?" He asked back and looked at her apologetically. She sighed and went to the door with the number one. Behind it was a beautiful oriental bedroom in warm dark colours; in an oval passageway hung a curtain and separated a bathroom.  
"Someone seems to have made an effort. What does number two say?" Before Erin could stop him, Mike had already opened the second android chamber.  
"That's a bit much of a cliché, isn't it?" She said when he critically scrutinized _Sakura_. The Asian girl with the far too big eyes wore the black hair tied in two pigtails and was in a very tight dark blue school uniform. Erin couldn't help but suspect that the stockings were made of more fabric than the skirt.  
"Not my style," Mike noticed shrugging and went on to the third locker.  
"Not my style?" Erin echoed disapprovingly.  
"What? I never understood the hype- oh."  
Behind door number three hid a tanned Latina in an extremely revealing bright red dress. _Mariella_ may have looked rigidly straight ahead, but at her sight Erin found it easy to imagine her with perfect hip swing to fiery salsa music.  
"Is that more your style?" Erin asked a little miffed when she saw Mike's gaze. A little prick of envy struck her, because Mariella was undoubtedly beautiful.  
"Um..." Mike shrugged and opened chamber number four. "_That's_ definitely more than just nice..."  
"Mike, what she's wearing can't be called a bikini in good conscience!" Erin wouldn't have worn the dark green, perfectly designed shreds that covered almost nothing of _Nicole_ on the beach for a million. As great as the color harmonized with the pale redhead, as much as it emphasized her sweet freckles, it was a touch of nothing.  
"Come on, it's a great sight, isn't it?"  
"No."  
Mike rolled his eyes. "Buzz kill."  
"Pfft!"  
Without another comment Mike opened the fifth chamber. "Oh, my..." A broad grin spread across his face.  
"What?" Erin had stopped next to Nicole in a bad mood.  
"You should see this."  
She sighed and went over to Mike, only to stare with her mouth open into the chamber from which her reflection stared back.  
"May I introduce? _Emily_\- the policewoman with the best interrogation methods of the-"  
"Shut up!" Stunned, Erin looked at the android who looked exactly like her and wore her parade uniform - only with visible handcuffs on her belt. Slowly, as if Emily could bite, Erin pushed the blouse collar aside and discovered the small scar on the collarbone, where its fracture had been surgically repaired.  
"I don't know if I should find it more disgusting or creepy," she said then, taking two steps back. Mike still shrugged with a grin.  
"I think it's cool."  
Erin looked at him darkly.  
"Emily- activate," he said amused. The yellow status light flickered and _Lubricant refill required_ appeared underneath.  
"No comment," Erin growled when Mike started laughing.  
"But... okay." Still grinning wide he went to one of the half-height boxes and opened it.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Maintenance work."  
"That's not our job."  
"So what?"  
Erin swallowed a biting remark and went to the sixth android chamber. To her surprise, there was a male android in chocolate brown, wearing a perfectly fitting tuxedo. _William_ had a mocking smile on his full lips and in his breast pocket was a noble pair of sunglasses.  
_Equal rights for everyone_, it went through Erin's mind. In chamber number seven stood a blond giant named _Lukas_, with worn jeans and an open dark red flannel shirt, revealing finely defined muscles.  
_Not bad._ She had to stifle a smile and took a look at Mike, who was still operating on Emily. Finally she opened the eighth and last chamber and took a step back in surprise. Mike stared past her- no, _Matt_. He was wearing a combat overall with its upper part hanging loosely around his hips at belt level. He stood as broad-legged as possible in the narrow chamber and with his hands clasped on his back the naked upper body presented itself twice as good.  
"I fini-oh." Mike appeared next to her and looked over her shoulder.  
"Seriously?" Erin asked and tipped on Matt's nipple piercing.  
"Touché."  
_"Seriously?"_  
"What shall I say?" He shrugged, embarrassed. "I lost a bet and had to wear it for a year. But that was right after high school." He made a face. "That's embarrassing."  
"Oh. But making fun of Emily," she returned dryly.  
"Sorry?" He ran his fingers through his hair, which was as dark as Matt's but a little longer.  
"At least explains how Annie knew me."  
"Definitely. And it makes the Brain Booster much more attractive. But why the hell do they look like _us_?"  
"Well..."

~

An unpleasant silence arose. Mike felt a little watched by the androids, although none of them were active. He looked at Matt with a mixture of curiosity and discomfort and couldn't quite put into words what he was thinking.  
"Matt - activate," he finally said before he even knew what he was doing. Erin made a surprised sound. Matt stepped out of his chamber, his gaze focused.  
"Good - oh! Hello Michael."  
"You... know me?" Mike asked in amazement.  
"Of course. I was created based on you." The answer sounded so natural that Mike felt pretty stupid.  
"But why?" Erin asked a little helplessly.  
"Why were you chosen? I don't know," Matt replied friendly and smiled at Erin.  
"Do you only look like me or...?" Mike wasn't sure if he wanted to finish the question at all. Matt looked at him seriously.  
"We all here," he made a gesture through the room, "have a human role model. Not only in appearance, but also in personality. It makes us more authentic."  
"There's something to it..." Erin murmured and took a look at Emily. Mike touched Matt on the shoulder and he turned halfway around so Mike could see his back. The back with all his scars.  
"Does that also affect memories?" he asked and tried not to drift into those very same ones.  
"As far as possible," Matt returned. That sounded a little spongy, but Matt pointed to Lukas. "That's Chris Geddis, a singer." He pointed to William. "This is the actor Will Smith in his role from the movies _Man in Black_."  
"I know them," Erin said surprised. "The movies are very old. I understand why the thing with the memories is difficult. But then why did they take someone who has been dead for a long time?"  
"I'd be more interested in how you get to someone's memories at all," Mike mumbled in between, trying desperately not to think of burning helicopter parts. Matt shrugged.  
"I'm an android for the bedroom, not a scientific assistant."  
That was Mike's cue. "You're here to... _serve_ the colonists and the scientists?"  
Matt nodded. "We have access to the resident data of those who have access to this room. For everyone who uses us, we create a personality file and store there exactly which wishes and preferences they have."  
"What about Annie?" Erin wanted to know.  
"Annie..." Matt smiled and a shiver ran down Mike's spine. He didn't quite get along with a living reflection.  
"She crept in here and got stuck. She imagined a relationship."  
"Yes, I noticed so," Mike murmured dryly. Matt's smile broadened.  
"A very romantic young woman, but very affectionate, jealous and fast crying."  
"We met her," Erin said quietly. "And now she's dead."  
"Oh. Well, at least she's not lonely anymore."  
Erin made a face and Mike also frowned. But before any of them could say anything, Matt asked:  
"Could you maybe order a major maintenance? I've been in the field for quite some time now and there was no maintenance other than the normal check by the technical robots. I don't know about the others, but I think I need some new cables." The last part almost sounded like a joke.  
"Sure, we'll take care of it." Mike nodded to him before deactivating Matt. When the Android had stepped back into his chamber, Mike rubbed his face.  
"He sounds just like you," Erin said quietly and looked at Mike. In her light blue eyes was an expression he couldn't interpret - something between uncertainty and fear. "As if you had synchronized him."  
"Absolutely not."  
"I know, but still..." With real discomfort, she looked over at Emily.  
"Do you want to talk to her too?"  
"No," she replied before he had even finished asking.  
"Then let's go. I'd like a coffee with a shot now."

As they walked through the corridors, Erin suddenly started humming. Thoughtfully she had frowned.  
"Hmm?" Mike made questioning.  
"I'm your automaton/ for wishes of all kinds/ put in a coin/ then I can be anything/ go, press on start-/ I'm your automaton."  
He looked at her with his brow up.  
"Oh, an ancient song. I used to love such music, but I don't know anymore what the band was called." She shrugged. "Just went through my mind..."  
Mike made simply "Hmm."  
In the dining room, a cleaning robot was wiping Annie's blood off the table. As if on cue, Mike's nose started to hurt. Carefully he felt his olfactory organ- slightly swollen.  
"Everything okay?"  
He sniffed briefly. "Yes... I'm fine." He ordered a big coffee with rum at the terminal. When he looked up, Erin already looked at him. There were a lot of questions in her face, but she didn't express them, but after a short eye contact turned to the cleaning robot, which was whirring quietly between the tables.  
"I have four older sisters... but none looks like me," Erin finally said very quietly.  
"Wow, four of them?" Mike was impressed. Erin smiled sadly.  
"My dad always said he's all taken care of. One's cooking, one's cleaning, one does the laundry... and then he went happily whistling to clean the bathroom when my mum had a technical problem somewhere."  
Mike laughed quietly. "I have two younger brothers. One more chaotic than the other. We've worn out a lot of Nanny's." He paused, a fine smile on his lips, and for a moment had his brothers before his eyes. The thought was interrupted by the pling of the order terminals.  
"Do you think there's real alcohol in it, or just aroma?" he asked to return to the here and now.  
"I doubt it," Erin replied skeptically. On her cup was milk foam powdered with cocoa, which looked as if it could be cut. As they sat and took the first sip, Erin seemed lost in thought again and Mike was silent.

Only much later, she suddenly asked:  
"What if we're not the original?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Matt said, he was created after your model. But what if we are only copies as well?" With her head tilted, she looked at him.  
"So... likes clones?" he asked back. He wasn't sure what she was going for.  
"Or a technical copy. An Android, like Matt and Emily."  
"But we eat, we go to the toilet..." He made a wide-ranging gesture.  
"Yes, but are all androids really aware that they are machines? Does everyone _have_ to be aware of it?"  
He sighed, "You can ask questions..."  
"And what if there were made several copies of a person who had programs for different purposes?" She turned the coffee spoon between her fingers and looked at him thoughtfully. "If there really is the technology to copy memories into an android, why not make use of it?"  
"And why waste resources and let them eat and sleep?" He asked back and stood up shaking his head. He went to the ordering terminal and had a sharp knife spit out.  
"What are you doing?" Erin wanted to know with a frown as he sat back at the table and looked at the knife as he took off his jacket and pushed up his left sleeve.  
"I think I'm a human being." Before she could say anything, he stabbed himself in the forearm. She gasped in horror and clasped her hand to her mouth. A drop of blood ran over his skin.  
"Oh my God, you're crazy! What are you doing?"  
Mike looked at her as she watched with disbelief and the imagination of his pain in her eyes as he turned the knife in his arm. From the wound came a faint blue shimmer and he turned his arm a little to show it to her. Her mouth opened, stunned, she looked at him.  
"I'd rather not repeat it on the other arm, because it's a real one."  
"What?" she whispered. But it started to hurt and Mike carefully removed the knife, then pressed the skin together at the edges. The bleeding was weak, yet he asked:  
"Could you get me a band-aid, please?"  
Far too violently, Erin pushed her chair back and went to get the first aid kit. After taking out a compress, she hesitantly touched Mike's arm.  
"But... that's skin. Real skin. You're bleeding."  
"I know, I-"  
"It lit up!"  
"Erin... I'm a cyborg." He looked up at her and smiled crookedly. "My left arm, my legs and an unknown number of internal organs are artificial." With a rigid expression on her face and pale cheeks, she turned away and put a bandage on Mike. It wasn't necessary, a spray patch would have done, but he didn't protest. Her fingers were freezing with fright and goose bumps crept along his back.  
"You know I was at war," he finally said as she closed the first aid kit and then dropped onto her chair. "We were on our way to a new outpost with a convoy when we were attacked. I remember the van in front of us suddenly exploded in a cloud of flames... and then I woke up in a hospital and was asked if I wanted to participate in a new prosthetic project. I probably would have said _yes_ and _amen_ to everything at that moment." He frowned and then shrugged. "Next, I suddenly have a shimmering blue arm and blue legs and a doctor tells me that in half a year the skin will have grown to cover it." He snorted amused. "I seriously thought I was in the wrong scene. But the skin grew over it while I was stationed on the edge of the war zone." Then he stopped when he saw Erin's shocked expression on her face.  
"I..." She shook her head and got up. "I think I need some fresh air," she said pressed and hastily left the dining room.

~

Much later Erin lay rolled up on her bed when it knocked. Even before she could react, the door slipped open. Quickly she sat up and looked at a rather embarrassed Mike running his fingers through his hair.  
"Hey... um..."  
She half buried her face in her hands and rubbed her eyebrows - a stupid, embarrassed habit. "Come in..."  
Mike just stepped into the room so far that the door behind him closed. "I wanted..." he started and then broke off. Erin sighed softly.  
"Sit down."  
Surprisingly, after a short hesitation, he sat so close to her that the fabric of her clothes almost touched.  
"I wanted... well... I'm sorry. I... It was a little insensitive."  
Erin nodded. Mike kneaded his fingertips and paused when he noticed she was watching him. Slowly she reached for his wrists and he spread his fingers so she could look at his hands.  
"Unbelievable," she mumbled. "This looks so real. The fingernails, the veins, everything..." There was a small mole on the back of his right hand and a fine scar on the inside of his thumb. She turned his hands around and he said quietly:  
"The fingerprints are now identical on both sides, though."  
"I bet that's the least of your problems."  
He smiled and she let go of his hands, then she looked at him. From his collar two scars crawled up his neck and disappeared under his hair; his ear had a small slit at the top. The brief glance she had caught on Matt's back went through her head.  
"How often were you wounded?" she wanted to know quietly. Just as she was about to apologize for the question because he didn't answer with a gloomy look, he also said quietly:  
"In combat, exactly four times. But the scars here," he touched his neck - he had noticed her gaze -, "come from a helicopter crash."  
"You survived that?" Impressed, she raised her eyebrows and he laughed briefly.  
"I wasn't sitting in it." He shook his head. "It crashed on the base. I just unloaded an air cargo with some of my comrades when it came down behind us. I looked like a hedgehog." He grinned crookedly.  
"That's not funny."  
"Some things you have to take with a little humor. Otherwise they'll drive you crazy," he gave back seriously and tapped his forehead. "The regeneration stuff they gave me to grow skin over the prostheses made some of the smaller scars disappear. But I can still forget the dragon tattoo I always wanted on my shoulders." Again he grinned crooked and she looked at him darkly.  
"Sorry." Suddenly he seemed a little depressed.  
"It's okay." She wrung herself a smile. At his questioning look she nodded.  
"Friends?", he asked then.  
"Friends. Still-," she added and nudged him with her shoulder, "-idiot!"  
But Mike grinned, put one arm around her shoulders and held her for a moment.  
"Always a pleasure." 

~

The security center shimmered in the dim light of the bluish holoprojection of the station floating between Erin and Mike. The two sat with their backs to the terminals and Erin looked at Mike challenging.  
"I was with John earlier."  
She nodded.  
"He's done with the data analysis and he's looking at all the paperwork now. We could still go to him today..." But he didn't sound convinced and neither was Erin. She had spent hours imagining his experiences thanks to her blossoming imagination. And when she could finally get out of it, she wondered again and again what he must have felt at Gus' sight. The forced confrontation with his memories was quite obvious in his eyes and so she said:  
"Maybe we should deal with the scientific stuff tomorrow. When we're fresh and rested. Right now, I don't think my brain is overly receptive."  
He nodded, almost relieved. "Then... do we have leisure time...?"  
"Looks like it." She shrugged. He nodded slowly and sighed.  
"I'll be in the gym..."  
"Okay. I'll go to the library if you're looking for me." She wanted to leave, but took a look back at the door. "Should I write the report today?"  
"No, it's okay. I just have to clear my head first." He smiled weakly and stood up.  
"Okay..."  
Erin went to the library of the station on the ground floor and stared through a window at the barren planet for a while. In the six months of training before boarding the spaceship, the individual members of the second mission had hardly had time to get to know each other. The security staff had been chased through all possible fitness tests and had gone through an endless number of different simulations - on the one hand to get to know the station, on the other hand it had been emergencies and crisis situations. Only in the last one she had been a team with Mike and then talked to him for a while. By the time they finally arrived on Atreus and were all awake together for another half year, she had made some loose friendships - including with Mike, but since they hadn't had a shift together, there hadn't been too much time to build a real base.  
Nevertheless, she felt as if they had been comrades for quite some time. And that's exactly what made her wish it was, because leaving Mike alone with his memories didn't seem right to her.  
She sighed quietly and turned away from the window just to stare at the rows of old-fashioned shelves from which you could download individual books onto a special reader. For a moment she wondered if she should go to him, just to talk, but then she rejected the idea. He would certainly want and need time for himself and they weren't close enough to ignore that need.  
So she took a reading device instead and started searching for an evening filling book.

~

Mike tried to beat up the sandbag and at the same time not let his memories become stronger than like a television running somewhere in the background. It worked even quite well and when he staggered backwards against the wall, exhausted and struggling for air, he felt much better. With trembling muscles he finally stalked in the direction of the showers and glanced into the high long mirror as he passed by. He was bright red and sweaty, but he hadn't expected anything else. The transition of his arm into the prosthesis was clearly recognizable as a pale stripe and suddenly he had Gus in front of his eyes, whose image blurred to his own in a hospital bed.  
He blinked violently. Thanks God, his family had been spared this sight. He wasn't even sure if his mother had ever found out that her son hadn't been as unharmed as she hoped; the questions about it had never crossed his lips.  
After a deep breath he took a shower and when he felt halfway refreshed he went to the security center to write the daily report. Which turned out to be surprisingly difficult, for he simply couldn't find the right words; neither to describe the matter with Annie, nor to keep the encounter with the androids factual. He would have to apologize to Erin for having first amused himself about Emily. Because she was right. It was creepy to face his copy. His fingers hovered over the keyboard for a few moments before deleting part of the text and rewriting it once again.


	3. 22.02. - Day 3 - Play with the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Play with the Fire" - "Spiel mit dem Feuer" by Saltatio Mortis

Erin was dreaming weird stuff. She slowly walked up a steep road, at the top of which a boutique with brightly coloured ball gowns was waiting for her. Around her, tourists with big sun hats and silly shirts and shorts chattered on their way to the beach promenade. But Erin needed a ball gown.   
When she finally reached the boutique, she was greeted by old-fashioned limb puppets, wearing the ball gowns and staring at her with big eyes as a woman led her into a dressing room.   
"Red," the woman said, without her lips moving. "Dark red. Or black. With colorless drops."   
For some reason, Erin was afraid of the woman.   
"I can see your unwept tears, girl..." She rushed out and Erin undressed to try on the first dress that suddenly hung in front of her. It was sea green, though, and had no decorations except a few ruffles. Just as she was about to grab it, someone touched her arm. Frightened, she drove around.   
"Mark!"   
Her ex-boyfriend smiled at her crookedly. "Actually I'm supposed to help you with the dress, but somehow other things just came to mind..." He wrapped his arms around her from behind, his warm fingers stroking her skin and his lips gently touching her neck.   
"Mark... don't..." Erin blinked into the sudden darkness, but fingers and lips were still there.   
"Hmm?" It sounded questioning and quiet between two kisses.   
"Mike?" Erin tried to free herself from the embrace and turn around, which wasn't so easy because he didn't seem willing to let her go. A small hard knob pressed briefly into her shoulder and she gasped in surprise.   
"Matt?" With her hands and feet she pushed him away and in the confusion reached the button of the bedside lamp. Matt looked at her questioningly. And it was Matt, because in the light of the lamp the piercing shimmered on his chest.   
"What the hell are you doing here?"   
"I perceived vibes, which-"   
"What do you mean?" Irritated, Erin looked at him. "Whatever," she hissed then. "I have no intention of using your services. So get out of here!"   
"But-"   
"Get! Out! Of! Here!"   
"All right, all right." Apologizing, Matt raised his hands, then he got out of bed naked as he was. Bending down for his clothes he asked: "Are you sure?"   
Erin growled. "As pleasant as your sight may be," her gaze scurried over his body and briefly stopped at a certain point. "-but I refuse nevertheless."   
"As you like." He shrugged and slipped out the door. Erin dropped into the pillows and rubbed her eyes. She had instructed the door to open on Mike's signature, but it hadn't occurred to her that this might affect Matt as well. Especially since it had not occurred to her that the androids could act independently.   
She sighed long and deeply before turning off the light and trying to find back to sleep.

~

The next morning Erin was in a bad mood and her mood didn't get any better when she left her room and found Matt standing next to the door.   
"You're still here."   
He smiled. "Have you changed your mind?"   
"No!" she snapped. "Go into your chamber and deactivate yourself!"   
"Just as you like."   
As she watched him walk away, her eyes fell on Emily standing next to Mike's room door. Just as she raised her hand to knock, the door opened and Mike stepped out.   
"Huh!"   
As she hurriedly took a step back, he grabbed her by the shoulders to slide past her, carried by the momentum.   
"Good morning." Contrary to her bad mood, he seemed quite cheerful. "Well, slept good?"   
"No."   
"Hmm. I did."   
"Did you sleep with her?" It slipped out before she could stifle the question.   
"And if so? Are you jealous?" Mike grinned mischievously.   
"No," Erin snorted and distorted the face.   
"Did you sleep with Matt?" he asked back curiously.   
"No!" Her second answer was a tick more violent. Under Mike's mockingly sceptical grin, she blushed and turned away to go for breakfast.   
After just a few steps Mike had caught up with her. From the corner of her eye she saw his grin slowly disappear.   
"We talked," he finally said lightly.   
"Oh. And about what?"   
"About how the bedroom programs work."   
"Seriously?" she asked doubtingly.   
"Well, unlike our company floozy, she knows about it." Mike shrugged.   
"Wait, you had a sex android on the front?" Even more disbelieving, she looked up to him.   
"Somehow you have to keep the soldiers happy, don't you?" Again this crooked grin appeared on his face. Erin shook her head resignedly.   
"Anyway..." Mike picked up the thread again as they entered the dining room, "Emily was able to answer my questions. And so my ideas were ruined." Frowning, he turned to the ordering terminal.   
"What kind of ideas?" Erin went to the second terminal and wasn't sure if she wanted the answer at all.   
"An android porn."   
Erin first blinked at the terminal, then she slowly looked at Mike.   
"I mean, there's incredible potential..." He noticed her staring gaze. "... not?"   
"You've got some very - very! - strange fantasies, my friend," she said slowly.   
"Oh come on, Erin. You could watch yourself doing the hottest things without getting strained in the weirdest places." He sounded so enthusiastic that she couldn't think of any other response but a stunned shake of her head.   
They had breakfast in silence, even though she had lost her appetite.

"I'm sorry," he finally said seriously. "I know this was a pretty stupid idea."   
"Then how do you even come up with that shit?"   
"Compensation attempt?"   
"What for? I wouldn't have attested you a lack of self-confidence."   
A mischievous smile scurried over his lips. "I don't like the fact that an Android with my dream body is running around here without my knowledge."   
Annoyed she sighed.   
"All right, all right, I'm sorry." Serious again he added: "But really... Matt's existence is somehow... creepy. And I would love to know what he and Emily were created for. Besides the obvious, I mean."   
"Why do I have to be stuck here with you of all people?" Erin asked mumbling more to herself than to Mike.   
"I deny myself the most obvious answer," he replied graciously.   
"Thank you."   
"Nevertheless, you should take life with more humor. It can save a lot of nerves in case of doubt. And I know what I'm talking about."   
"I know. You told me already yesterday."   
"Well, then it's time you take my advice to heart." He smiled and stood up. "Are we going to visit the other android now?"

~

John stood patiently waiting, his arms crossed behind his back, next to a terminal in the main lab and put on a light smile as Erin and Mike entered.   
"Good morning."   
"Good morning," Erin replied, while Mike just nodded to him.   
"Do you know by now what Foster has done here?" Erin asked immediately to get to the point.   
"Yes. Of course, I can't exclude the possibility that Jane- Ava- stored data that I still don't have access to, but I did get an overall picture." Did he really seem a little proud of himself or was Erin just imagining it?   
"Then go ahead," Mike asked him.   
"To keep it short: Dr. Foster tried, with the help of a few vectors, to do a biological optimization on the inhabitants of the colony in order to improve their -"   
"What are vectors?" Mike quietly asked Erin. "I only know these things from math."   
John frowned on the interruption. "Vectors are..." He paused and then cleared his throat. "Here on Atreus you can find a gaseous molecule in the atmosphere. It is called B6n and is lethal toxic in the naturally occurring concentration for all living beings breathing through a lung."   
Erin nodded, so much was known to all.   
"How high is the concentration?" Mike curiously wanted to know.   
"It's between fifteen and eighteen percent; even a concentration of four percent is lethal within ninety seconds."   
Mike grimaced.   
"Directly here in the lake next to the station, bacteria were found that can break down the B6n, which has dissolved in water. However, since the natural degradation products are also toxic to humans, a research group has been working on optimizing this process for years."   
"Sounds good," Mike remarked.   
"Sounds complicated," Erin said. John nodded.   
"The last active shift has succeeded in advancing the internal bacterial degradation process to such an extent that the resulting products can finally be recycled by mammals. They are still harmful, but to a much lesser extent."   
"What could this be compared to?" asked Erin with interest. After all, even caffeine was a drug - albeit on a completely different scale than heroin, for example. John thought for a moment.   
"You could compare it to ethanol. Even if there is no evidence of a similar drunkenness."   
Erin nodded.   
"And afterwards?" Mike wanted to know. "I mean, what did Foster do with it?"   
"He belonged to that research group. He wanted to integrate the altered degradation process into mammals in order to increase the chances of survival in the event of contamination with outside air. However, since there are no mammals on Atreus other than humans, the project was rejected. He then submitted an application for laboratory mice, which was confirmed from Earth. But as it has now been shown, his impatience was apparently too strong, because in his... _additional_ research time he ignored the ban."   
"I saw in a file that the colonists seem to be infected with something. Was that him?"   
John nodded to Erin. "He transferred the required genes from the lake-bacteria into a human pathogenic virus and infected the colonists with these viruses."   
"Why did he take viruses for this?" Mike asked. He seemed slightly overwhelmed.   
"The viruses serve only as carriers of the genes," John explained patiently. "They cannot reproduce themselves, but inject their DNA or RNA into host cells that produce new viruses from this information. Dr. Foster has chosen viruses that affect the respiratory tract and mucous membranes, the areas that come most into contact with the air."   
"But the cells did not receive information for virus production, but for the degradation of B6n?" Mike asked and when John nodded seemed relieved that he had understood.   
"But how does B6n actually work? If it is only toxic for lung breathers, only the cells there need to know the degradation process. No?", Erin wanted to know now. For a moment, John searched for simple words.   
"In the alveoli there are alveolar macrophages - the phagocytes - which phagocytise dust among other things. They react to the B6n and... well... eat it. Within the cell, however, this leads to a panic- reaction, which in turn leads to a necrotic chain reaction of the lung tissue within a very short time. Before a person even knows what is happening to him, he has difficulty breathing and suffocates."   
"Urgh." Mike and Erin made a face.   
"The new DNA in the cells allows those cells in contact with the air to form receptors that intercept B6n from the air. Special cell connections lead the molecule deeper into the tissue, where it is broken down."   
"So if you are lucky, only a fraction of the actual concentration arrives in the lungs per breath," Mike assured himself skeptically.   
"That's what Dr. Foster thought."   
"Which means it didn't work?"   
"An adult takes between twelve and fifteen breaths per minute. The human organism can react within fractions of a second under certain conditions, such as an allergic shock, but the concentration of B6n in the outside air is much too high for this method."   
"But... then why the whole experiment?" Erin wanted to know irritated. John took a deep breath and sighed slowly.   
"The B6n issue is very broad and complex."   
"I'm aware of it. After all, we're trying to colonize a new planet," Erin replied with a frown.   
"Some of the scientists are working with the colonists to adapt the plants to Atreus or simply to get them used to it. The air purifiers consume a lot of energy, the greenhouses consume a lot of air, so it would be easier if you didn't have to lower the B6n concentration in the greenhouses to zero. Which would mean, however, that the colonists would need protective suits and airlocks."   
"So they're trying to adapt the colonists to a tiny amount of B6n in the air," Mike concluded.   
"Right. So they can at least work in the fruit and vegetable houses without protective precautions."   
"Actually, I like the idea..." Erin had to admit.   
"The idea _is_ good. However, it's absolutely unethical to use it directly - without prior laboratory mammal testing and without consultation with the colonists," John said with a light snort. Mike nodded thoughtfully.   
"If four percent are already lethal... what percent could a human survive with this... optimization?"   
"That depends on weight, respiratory rate, and the condition of the tissue regions required."   
Erin sighed. "Take an average man who works in a greenhouse as an example."   
"An average man would survive a simple activity with a concentration of about one percent estimated half an hour without tissue damage."   
"If you calculate this for the weakest member of the group, it should work for the greenhouse workers." Mike looked at John questioningly.   
"Theoretically, yes."   
"And practically?"   
"Practically, Dr. Foster has optimized all the inhabitants of the colony, continuously increasing the B6n concentration to zero point five percent."   
"That's quite a lot." Uneasily Erin stepped from one foot to the other.   
"That's irresponsible, above all," John rebuked. "Children of all ages live in the colony."   
"Then there were deaths within a very short time," Mike said quietly.   
"But he must have been aware of this!" Stunned, Erin looked from Mike to John. The two remained silent.   
"John, do you know what was in the box Foster brought to the colony?" Mike wanted to know after a moment.   
"No. According to the time information given, he must have optimized himself, because when he entered the colony with the box, the B6n concentration was already at zero point two eight percent."   
"It's nice to know, but that doesn't help us." Mike shook his head thoughtfully. "What about the breathing chamber? What kind of data did he collect?"   
"What kind of breathing chamber?" Erin wanted to know in surprise.   
"There is a small breathing chamber in one of the side labs; you can use it to check the breathing volume or the effect of asthma medication, among other things," John replied helpfully as always. But then he regretfully added: "What Dr. Foster did with it, I can't say. There's no data on that."   
"But he kept bringing in colonists and putting them there," Mike said. "You can only see half of the chamber on the cameras, but he did something with them there."   
"That's beyond my knowledge."   
Erin chewed on her thumbnail as she thought. "We don't have any current information on the colony, do we?"   
John shook his head. "There is and was no data connection. We can only guess at that."   
"Foster was playing with the fire," Mike snorted outraged, "What do you think this is going to look like?"   
In another silence Erin tried to consider the possible events as soberly as possible, which was not easy for her.   
"If the children suddenly suffer from breathlessness and suffocate, there must have been a panic. I know there's an emergency protocol for the colony to call for help, but there's nothing in the security center," she finally said.   
"We should have noticed it," Mike agreed. Then he suddenly asked: "How did Foster even change the air purification settings? He doesn't have tech access."   
"It must have been Ava," John said slowly. "We have limited access to air and water technology."   
"Can you check that out?" Mike added.   
"Sure." John started moving and the three of them left the lab to go to a small room next to the technical center. John entered a special code on the door pad and the door slipped open. Erin raised the brows in surprise because she had expected more than a single terminal and ordered rows of transparent pipes through which either air or water flowed.   
Immediately John got to work on the terminal. His fingers flew over the keys and after a few minutes he turned back to Erin and Mike.   
"Ava chose a very slow increase in concentration. It dragged on for several days. I reversed the settings."   
"So hopefully when we have access to the colony at some point, we won't need any protective suits," Mike muttered.   
"The only question that remains is how to get this access," Erin said.   
"I know." Mike rubbed his neck and sighed. "Thank you, John. I think this gave us a lot to think about."

~

Erin sipped her third hot chocolate. Mike chewed his lower lip bloody while thinking. Finally, Mike rubbed his face and sighed before saying:   
"I ordered a thorough maintenance for the androids last night."   
"Without a technician, that won't do much."   
"I know. But the system states Gus' death. If more and more technical problems arise now, a technician would have to be woken up even in emergency protocol mode, no? I mean, what's the point of having active securities if technology fails alongside them?"   
"I know what you're getting at," Erin said and put her cup down. "But the androids are probably the least of the problems." Tense she rubbed her eyebrows. "What about the spaceship?"   
"What about it? It's coming." Mike shrugged. "And they won't be thrilled if there's still a state of emergency here."   
"That's right, but shouldn't the captain of the ship have contacted us by now?" Erin wanted to know. "I think I've only seen news from the autopilot."   
"Hmm," Mike made insecure. "We can go check again. But when it gets here in two or three weeks, it may well be a while before the captain is woken up by the ship's system."   
"True, too. Heaven..." Erin moaned and rubbed her eyes. "I don't know where to put my thoughts."   
"I know the feeling."   
For a moment they kept silent again, then Mike said:   
"Somehow it's funny... As soon as the first robots on Atreus have discovered something, a ship with material has already been sent off. And immediately afterwards a manned mission. Ten years later the second one - even before the first building stood."   
"And a third ship as well," Erin added. "Fifty years ago we were still on our way here."   
Mike nodded and then shook his head in disbelief. "This could all have gone down the drain from the first moment."   
"How did you say so nicely earlier? The brains behind the Atreus plan played with the fire. All or nothing."   
"They sent the best of the best here. In case of doubt to die," Mike grumbled.   
"And yet you agreed." Erin smiled at him crookedly. Mike rubbed his face.   
"Yes..."   
Erin almost expected him to say more, but for Mike the subject seemed to be over.

"I'm not sure how to go on," she started when the silence became uncomfortable.   
"Without available technicians? Hmm." Mike shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "Maybe we'll have to sit it out until we get more specific instructions from Mr. Black." He took a playfully dramatic look at his watch. "It'll only take three days..."   
Erin sighed.   
"We could do something," Mike said with a challenging look.   
"Oh. And what?" Erin glanced back with skepticism and drank the last remnants of her now cold chocolate.   
"Oh... Eat ice cream... a walk around the lake with a picnic..."   
"Mike..."   
"...maybe go for a hike..."   
"_Mike_..."   
"...or a few lessons with John..."   
_"MIKE!" _  
"Yes?" He grinned broadly; Erin looked at him darkly. "Let's go to the gym. Before you flatten your pretty ass, let's do something."   
"Hey!" Erin stood up and stared outraged at Mike, who was already on his way to the door. "Take that back!"   
"What, that you have a nice ass? No. That was serious." He cast a mischievous glance over the shoulder back to her.

~

Mike let himself fall onto his bed exhausted. He had pushed and teased Erin in the gym until - despite her exhaustion - she had punched him in the chest and stormed off. Mike had to admit that she had a hell of a blow to her petite appearance. He had added a small training turn later on and was now well done, but in a very satisfying way.   
For a moment, he had the desire to end the day with a woman in his arms, but immediately rejected the idea. He was not necessarily after an android-generated post-sex-cuddle-talk. And with Erin he certainly didn't want to spoil the chances in the imposed togetherness.   
So he pulled the blanket up to his chin and yawned. Sufficient sleep had never harmed anyone.


	4. 23.02. - Day 4- Sparks spray, the weldseam glows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sparks spray, the weldseam glows"- "Funken sprühen, die Schweißnaht glüht" taken from "Prototyp" by Eisbrecher

With a slight muscle ache in his shoulders, Mike left his room the next morning to see if Erin was already awake. He had just taken two steps in the hallway when he heard his name.   
"Mike...?"   
He was driving around. A little down the hallway, right next to the door to the capsule room, stood a young woman whose dark-chocolate-skin had a sickly tone in the dim lighting.   
"Maisie?" Surprised, he stared at her.   
"Is there any problem? There are so many capsules active and nobody but me woke up and..." In her nervousness, her French accent was more strongly felt than usual. Slowly she approached Mike.   
"The station is running under a security protocol."   
"Oh. So the others had to go to sleep?"   
"Not directly..." He paused when he heard footsteps behind him.   
"Morning... oh... Maisie!"   
"Erin!" A happy smile appeared on Maisie's face. She hurried past him. "Thank God it's you. I couldn't bear to work with Florianne again!" Erin giggled. Suddenly Mike felt like the fifth wheel on the car as he followed the two to the dining room.   
Erin just put Maisie in the picture and he couldn't help but notice that she wasn't telling her the whole truth. Maybe not even half, but he kept his mouth shut. He already sat down with his breakfast while the two women were still standing next to the terminals.   
"Is everything all right?" Erin asked worriedly.   
"Yes... I'm just having a bit of nausea."   
"It will pass. But while we're at it... The protocol provides for a short health check. Before you go to the technical centre, you should do it right away."   
"A health check?" Maisie sounded skeptical. It was also new for Mike, but he got into the game.   
"Many security protocols contain instructions that seem nonsensical at first look. But in the end it's all about our security. Who knows if some bacterium hasn't sneaked out of the lab?" He tried it with a smile and Maisie smiled back in agony. She had breakfast without much appetite and then said goodbye.   
"And now?" Mike wanted to know.   
"Security center?" Erin asked back and shrugged.   
"Okay..."

Arriving there, they let themselves fall into their chairs.   
"May I ask why you weren't honest with Maisie?"   
Erin bit her lower lip. "Just a suspicion." She activated the personnel terminal and remained silent. Mike was silent with her, although after a while the silence felt quite unpleasant. He could see past Erin on the screen that Maisie had been working at the technical center for a while, but it wasn't until the terminal made a low sound that Erin seemed to come back to life. She opened Maisie's file and said quietly:   
"Ha. I knew it."   
"What?" He asked irritated. She turned to him.   
"Did you notice anything about Maisie?"   
"She was pretty pale, but you didn't look like the blossoming life either, just right after waking up."   
She didn't respond to his remark. "If you feel nauseous, where are you holding your hand?"   
He put his hand on the stomach area. "Well... here..."   
"You didn't see it, but Maisie had her hand here..." Erin laid her hand on her abdomen.   
Mike looked at her questioningly and she pointed to the screen next to her.   
"We can't access her medical file... but the information is still being transmitted. She's pregnant."   
His mouth formed a soundless _Oh_.   
"The thing is... we were told right at the beginning that we cannot use the sleeping capsule when pregnant. Or may. I don't know for sure anymore. It must be reported."   
"Sounds logical, but Maisie crushes on Gordon practically from day one up to both ears. And Gordon got together with Natasha almost as quickly," Mike said.   
"May be. But all three were in the last active shift."   
"Are you suggesting that Gordon got weak because Maisie's crush caressed his ego?"   
"Quite possible, isn't it?" Erin shrugged. "And if not, there must still be a father. The possibilities aren't endless."   
"Is it important?" Mike wanted to know. The days when he was interested in gossip were long gone. "I mean, ask her. But that's got nothing to do with the situation here."   
Erin shook her head. "She has to tell it for herself. At some point she has to do it one way or the other."   
Mike sighed obediently. "If you absolutely -"   
"Guys? Do you hear me?" Maisie interrupted the conversation through the headset.   
"Yes," Mike replied curtly.   
"Could somebody explain to me what those androids are?"   
Mike and Erin exchanged a quick look and Mike nodded to her. "This is your chance."   
"What?" Maisie asked confused.   
"Nothing. Wait, I'm on my way," Erin said quickly and went to the door.

~

"So... what are these androids?" Maisie wanted to know when Erin escorted her to the hidden door.   
"I would have thought you knew about it as a robot technician," Erin avoided the question.   
"Oh well... Gus is in charge of the androids."   
"But he's a computer scientist," Erin objected.   
"And technician for the androids. I'm only his replacement because I don't know so much about programming."   
"Well then..."   
"Where are we going?" Maisie asked irritated, but Erin smiled crookedly and stepped up to the wall to open the hidden door.   
"Wow..."   
"Wait till you get in." They stepped into the big room and Maisie got big eyes.   
"Whoa... is it what I think...?"   
"Well..." Erin half-heartedly pulled up a corner of her mouth and let her gaze wander through the room. Maisie stepped up to Salome's chamber and curiously examined the android.   
"But the darlings here must wait a little longer. I'm afraid the priorities are elsewhere."   
"Then why are we here?"   
Maisie gave Erin a short smile. "First, I'm curious. And second..." She opened part of the cover on the left inner wall of the android chamber. Behind it appeared a small number field, into which she entered a code after a short thought.   
"Self-diagnosis in progress," Salome reported in a seductively smoky voice. The light next to her neck began to flash red.   
"This is running for a while now. And when it's done, I can take care of it," Maisie explained and went to the second chamber. When she reached Emily's chamber, Erin suddenly had a knot in her stomach.   
"Oh..." Surprised, Maisie blinked at the android. Erin pressed her lips together, but to her relief, Maisie simply went over the obvious and continued working.   
When she started the self-diagnosis on all eight androids, she said:   
"Fine, then I'll get my stuff and go to the robot docks. See you for lunch?"   
"Sure." Erin nodded to her. Their paths separated and when Erin was back at the security center, Mike looked at her impatiently.   
"What's up?"   
"I was looking for potential fathers."   
"Really? And how?" She sat down.   
"Are you using the video game console in your room?" He wanted to know and she nodded.   
"From time to time, yes. Something you have to do with your time."   
"Do you also use the sports programs?"   
"No. Why?"   
"They're controlled by a camera..." Mike's face showed a mischievous grin.   
"Don't tell me we can access the footage...?"   
He nodded. "I ran a search program and checked who Maisie was in her room with. Give a guess." Casually he leaned back and Erin shrugged. "Come on!"   
She sighed. "Vincenzo doesn't like women with curves. Gordon is engaged. Foster was involved with Schmidt. Tennyson is with Nadia Park. There are still Perez, Blake, Beckham and Vedernikov. And I can't imagine any of them with Maisie."   
"No?"   
"No."   
Mike shrugged a little disappointed and then pressed a button. The recording began to run on the screen. The console's camera pointed frontally to the bed; from the left, where the door was, Maisie stepped into the scene - followed by Wassili Vedernikov.   
"Oh..." Vedernikov was in his mid or late thirties, tall and brawny with rough features; all in all not a very handsome man. But Maisie didn't seem too happy either. Then the light went out and Erin made "oh" again, because the recording quality was very good despite the darkness. Mike smiled.   
"Using a console to make secret, dirty videos is just as old as the camera technology in the consoles."   
"And I can't imagine that such good cameras are built in here by chance," Erin added.   
"No," Mike agreed with her. "There's no official surveillance, but once you have the console camera on, it won't turn off until the room is released for shift changes."   
"Is Vedernikov just a one-off?" Erin wanted to know then.   
"No. They meet at Maisie's two or three times a week. Whether even at Vedernikov's can't be said, his camera hasn't been active."   
Erin nodded thoughtfully.   
"I found more, but I haven't had time to look at it yet." He started another recording and Erin was again surprised to see Maisie and Gordon in a pretty hot show.   
"So much for faithfulness..." Mike remarked dryly. According to the date of the recordings, a week later Natasha and Maisie met in Natasha's room. The conversation was heated, and Gordon had to stay out of sight, as both women kept turning their heads in one direction.   
"Does it just seem like it or is Natasha threatening her?" Mike frowned.   
"She probably found out something was going on. She has the right to be angry," Erin replied. She knew what it felt like to be cheated on. At that very moment Natasha slapped Maisie in the face. All the more perplexed was Erin, however, that Natasha began to undress afterwards.   
"What the hell is this...?"   
"Wait and see..."   
A naked Gordon stepped into the field of vision and began to argue much more gently with Maisie, who looked very uncomfortable at Natasha - who in turn had made herself comfortable on the bed and looked expectantly at the two. Maisie undressed, Natasha dimmed the light. Maisie got on the bed, turned her back to Natasha and lifted her butt into the air. The same one Gordon began to knead violently before penetrating Maisie with fervor and Natasha began to please herself. Erin stared stunned at the screen. But when she saw tears glistening on Maisie's cheeks, she closed the replay.   
"... this is definitely not what I expected..." Mike said after a moment.   
"What did you expect?"   
"I don't know. But not that."   
They exchanged an uncomfortable look.   
"And now?" Erin asked. "I mean... I certainly won't ask her about it."   
"No, better not." Mike shook his head weakly and rubbed his neck before he sighed. "When Maisie's done with the robots and androids and whatever, we should unlock the colony. But until then..." He leaned back and dragged a live camera onto the screen so that Maisie could be seen humming happily screwing on a construction robot.   
"Wait and see?" Erin asked doubtingly.   
"Can you think of anything better?"   
"No."   
"See."

~

Erin felt incredibly superfluous while sitting in the security center watching Maisie work. The three of them met for lunch and then the action continued.   
"Hey you... what does dinner say?" Maisie asked later. She sounded tired.   
"It's waiting for us," Erin replied, but Mike pointed to himself and shook his head. "Well... Mike wants to finish something and then comes after..." Erin added and looked at Mike questioningly.   
"Okay... I wash my hands. See you soon." With a short crack Maisie broke the connection.   
"What's wrong?"   
"I'm just intruding."   
"Nonsense."   
"Yes. As soon as I'm within earshot, she's not relaxed. Have a few women conversations or something..." He waved his hand towards the door, prompted.   
"You just want to snoop in the privacy of other people in peace," she mocked.   
"Maybe. Also." He winked at her and she shook her head with a smile as she went to the dining room.

Maisie appeared even before she had chosen a snack to eat.   
"So, how's it going?" Erin asked casually.   
"Good. Most don't need any real repair, it's just that they deactivate themselves for safety reasons when no maintenance has been done for a certain period of time."   
"Sounds logical." Erin nodded to Maisie and got a warm smile back.   
"What about you?"   
"Well... right now we're waiting for you to finish so we can unlock the colony. One by one." Erin shrugged and Maisie nodded thoughtfully.   
"What do you think of him?" she asked all of a sudden.   
"Hmm?"   
"Mike."   
Erin blinked at Maisie without understanding.   
"What do you think of him?"   
"I don't know him very well," Erin carefully evaded and took her tray from the food dispenser. That didn't seem to be enough for Maisie, because she looked at Erin curiously and with a conspiratorial smile.   
"It's the first time for us working together."   
"So, what's it like?"   
"You're very curious," Erin replied, hoping she didn't sound too harsh. But Maisie laughed.   
"You had a shift with Vincenzo, didn't you? Well then... He's not even in my team and yet I don't want to have to work with him anymore."   
"Vincenzo thinks he's a hero and everyone has to kiss his feet for it." Erin shrugged. "If you tell him clearly enough that you don't care, he's bearable. Sure, his ego is still as big as the moon, but hey... some men are like that."   
Maisie had to giggle. "And he doesn't look sooo good."   
Erin shrugged again. "He's not ugly."   
"But... did you have a thing with him?"   
Erin made a face. "No. Should I?"   
Maisie just giggled. Somehow she seemed a little overexcited to Erin. "And your second shift?"   
"Was with Michael Vegas."   
"He's cute. Is it true about the foot fetish?"   
"Yes... and yes, he's cute. But that's not enough to trust him with my life."   
"No," Maisie agreed with her.   
For a moment they ate in silence, then Maisie asked: "Do you trust Mike?"   
"Yes." Erin didn't have to think about that. Mike had asked her the same question years ago when they were still on Earth and in the simulation phase. At the time she hadn't known more about him than that he was a former soldier, but his charisma and the feeling of security that she felt next to him at that moment had been enough.   
"Why do you ask?" she wanted to know. Maisie thoughtfully tilted her head.   
"You seem so synchronous."   
"Uh... what...?"   
"I don't know if I have a more appropriate word," Maisie apologized and smiled crookedly. "But you look like an old team."   
Erin raised a brow questioningly. "Two meals together are enough for you to say that?"   
"You send out the same vibes."   
Erin sighed and rolled her eyes. "There's nothing going on."   
"But you have to admit, he looks damn good!" Maisie winked at her.   
"I'm not saying anything against it, but do I have to invite him into my bed for that?" So much for women's conversations. Erin wished Mike was here and they were talking about less tricky things. But Maisie giggled again.   
"No, of course not." She paused briefly. "He'd be perfect for perfume commercials."   
"Why perfume of all things?"   
"In advertising you see either expensive cars, beautiful women or hot guys. Do you remember the ones with the double mirror?"   
"Uh..."   
"First you see a room where several beautiful women sit in comfortable armchairs and look through one of these mirrors into a bathroom. One of these mega-hot guys comes in and all so _ooouuuh_. He takes the perfume bottle and sprays something on his neck and everyone gets excited." Maisie acted to it. "Then he sprays something on his chest and the first ones gasp." Maisie giggled. "Then the camera turns a bit, you can see his naked ass, and he sprays the perfume... well... you know where. And the women all faint." Enthusiastically Maisie clasped her hands together. Erin couldn't help but smile.   
"Whether he would be perfectly suited for this role, I can't say. I only know him dressed." Depending on the way of interpretation, it didn't quite correspond to the truth, but Erin didn't have to rub it under her nose. But Maisie blushed.   
"And above all: when you tell him about it, his ego feels flattered. And that's not exactly small either. If that makes him unbearable like Vincenzo, it's your fault." With her finger raised, Erin pointed to Maisie. Maisie laughed.   
"Got it. It stays between us."

~

Mike had leaned back in his chair, his feet resting on a terminal. He grinned at Erin in such a meaningful way that she became suspicious.   
"What?"   
"When does the video shoot start?"   
Her mouth opened. "You..."   
"You should have turned off your mic. When you left the room, the team come activated." He tapped his ear. "My ego is feeling very good right now, thank you."   
"Eavesdropper never hear anything good about themselves."   
"No? Well... I don't care about Maisie, but... compliments are nice." He grinned and Erin grimaced. "And you agreed with her."   
"I didn't."   
"Do you deny that I look good?"   
She stared at him darkly.   
"Come on, Erin, tell me fair in the face. I can stand the truth."   
"One more word and I'll go check if a steak knife in your chest is doing better than in your arm."   
Mike laughed so heartily that he almost fell off the chair. Erin raised the middle finger and started the strategic retreat.   
"I like you too...," she heard him amusedly calling after her before the door closed.


	5. 24.02. – Day 5 – A 1000 Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "1000 scars"- "1000 Narben" by Eisbrecher

In turn, Mike and Erin had sat in the security center and watched Maisie work. Despite Erin's protest, Mike had left them for lunch and dinner alone and looked up as Erin returned from the latter.  
"You're playing Tetris?" she asked in surprise and dropped onto the second chair.  
"It's a timeless classic. I was quite surprised to find it here."  
"It was already a timeless classic at the turn of the millennium."  
He smiled crookedly. "Somehow you have to kill time."  
"You could take a walk around the lake," Erin suggested.  
"Ha ha," he made dry.  
"Tit for tat." She shrugged. Then she sighed. "Please... don't leave me alone with Maisie. When she starts asking me again about my dream husband, I'll scream."  
"But the answer would be interesting. All right, I didn't say anything." On her deadly look he raised his hands apologetically. She seemed really pissed off. "Is she that bad?"  
"She knows no other topic than men," Erin grumbled and rubbed her eyebrows. "She seems to be obsessed."  
"I've always thought she was a little strange," Mike admitted, "but you seem to like each other."  
"_Oh Erin, it's so good to finally be able to talk to a woman! Florianne and Natasha were so terrible_!"  
Mike smiled. "Well, she's not completely wrong."  
"Maybe, but why is she having an affair with Vedernikov when she's unhappy? Why does she let Gordon fuck her in such a shameful way?"  
"Oh, such words from your mouth." Mike gave the shocked and earned another sinister look. Then he shrugged. "What if she just wants attention?"  
"At any cost?" Erin asked back doubtfully.  
"Even negative headlines are headlines," he said. "Maybe she is so desperately looking for love that she accepts negative love as well."  
"That would be damn sad," Erin had to admit and looked up at the screen where Maisie was tinkering with a robot again. She seemed very happy. "Maybe she just has a problem with humans..."  
"Shall we give her a personal android for her birthday?" Mike wanted to know and was pleased to see that Erin's mouth twitched.  
"Hey Maisie..."  
"Hmm?"  
"Don't you ever want to call it a day?" Mike wanted to know.  
"The sooner I get done here, the sooner you can check on the colony."  
"You could just unlock the colony with us and move on," he suggested.  
Erin shook her head. "One by one. We have time."  
"A lot. In a minute, my darling." Maisie patted a small floor-cleaning robot that gently prodded her.  
"Yes, and a lot of boredom," Mike grumbled.  
"Now, don't be like that," Erin rebuked him and he raised his hands apologetically.  
"Yes, my darling, I'll be right there for you." Maisie continued talking to the cleaning robot.  
"Don't stress yourself," Erin said and Maisie nodded absent.  
"I would hate to be the one to blame if the newcomers didn't have a place to sleep because the robots didn't come to build," she finally said and closed a cover. "You're done, my beauty."  
"Do you always talk to the robots?" Erin asked with a fine smile and watched Maisie give the robot a loving pat.  
"Sure. One talks to plants, the other to animals... why shouldn't I talk to my robots?"  
"Was just a-"  
"Hey! I'm here for you now", Maisie protested angrily when the little cleaning robot nudged her again, this time more violently.  
"Maybe you should-"  
"Ouch!" A construction robot rolled up and pinched her in the arm. "Listen, first your little brother gets over here and then- ow! Leave it alone!" Maisie flinched back and got up. She started scolding the robot like a toddler.  
"Can you educate robots?" Mike asked Erin muffled.  
"I don't know. But somehow it doesn't look like it..."  
Meanwhile, Maisie was surrounded by robots of all sizes and functions, all reaching for her, pinching, pricking and nudging.  
"Um... Maisie...?" Mike looked uneasily at the screen.  
"Oh God!" Erin slapped a hand to her mouth as a robot with a rotating saw blade reached for her. She could hear the buzzing through the headset.  
"Aaaaahhhhhh!", Maisie screamed and clutched her bleeding arm.  
"Maisie!" Erin jumped up and stared at the screen in horror. Another robot grabbed her with a pair of pliers and tugged at her technician overall. Just as she stumbled, the fabric ripped and she bounced against a humanoid-looking robot that pushed her so hard that she fell. Maisie screamed.  
"Do something!" Erin reached for Mike's arm.  
"And what?" he asked soundlessly.  
"Something..." she whispered stunned. The robots covered the view of Maisie, but her screams rang in Erin's ear. When they became a shriek, Erin threw away the headset, pressed her hands against her ears and closed her eyes. Mike wrapped his arms around her, protecting her.  
"Don't look."  
She whimpered softly and pressed her forehead against his chest.  
As he released her, she raised her eyes to the screen. Only after a moment did she realize what she was seeing, and she managed to turn away before vomiting violently. Again he wrapped an arm around her so she wouldn't collapse. She choked until she felt like suffocating. Then came the point where she managed to wipe her mouth with her right sleeve and eyes with her left, so she could see something again in tears. A tortured sound slipped out of her, then she stumbled out of the security center.

~

Shocked, Mike looked after Erin. An ice-cold knot sat in his chest and made breathing difficult for him. He briefly clenched his fists, then stopped the live broadcast and ordered a cleaning robot before leaving the security center. He welcomed the soldier mode, which surrounded his interior with a protective wall as he marched to John.  
"Good evening, Michael."  
"You have to take care of Maisie," Mike said harshly.  
"What happened?"  
"Robots have happened."  
"Impossible!"  
"We saw it!"  
John blinked, surprised by Mike's violent answer. "Maisie has various implants that allow her to communicate with the robots in a special way."  
"Didn't do her much good...", Mike remarked dully.  
"Michael...," John began carefully.  
"What?"  
"Where's Erin?"  
Mike frowned. "I don't know. But I think she needs a little time to herself right now."  
"Are you sure?"  
Mike shrugged.  
"And you?"  
"What about me?" he asked back, repulsive.  
"Do you really want to be alone now?"  
Mike gave the android a dark look. "I've seen people die before." He noticed John wanting to hear another answer.  
They looked at each other for a while before John finally said:  
"I'd appreciate it if you'd at least check on her."  
Mike nodded a little.  
"Where's Maisie?"  
"In the robot dock."  
"Good." John nodded and left the lab. Mike followed him slowly and stopped in the hallway. His hands trembled. He wanted to curse, but couldn't find the right words; he wanted to hit the wall, but he didn't move.  
Slowly he breathed deeply before hesitating to go to Erin's room. The door opened for him and the cold knot slipped into the stomach area. She lay rolled up on the bed and turned her back towards him; her boots lay on the dirty jacket on the floor.  
"Hey..." he said quietly. She sniffed, her face buried in the pillow. Carefully he sat down beside her, her body twitching under the suppressed sobs. Doubtful, Mike bit his lower lip - he wasn't a good comforter and he didn't want to bother her. Nevertheless, he finally put a hand on her waist.

The minutes were dragging like cheap chewing gum until he said quietly:  
"I know a little station secret..."  
"Oh, yeah?" Erin sniffed suppressed.  
"Hmm-hmm. I'd be willing to share it with you."  
"And in return?"  
He had to smile involuntarily. "Look at me and give me a smile."  
"No," she protested immediately. "I'm totally wailed."  
"I know."  
She seemed to think. "Look away. I want to go wash my face."  
"Isn't that a bit silly?" he asked, but turned obediently to the side.  
"Never tell a crying woman she's silly. Even if she is."  
"Okay..."  
When the water splashed, he stood up and looked into the bathroom from a safe distance. Erin leaned over the sink and looked as if she was about to vomit again. Water dripped on her blouse as she straightened up after a felt eternity and reached for a towel to bury her face in it.  
"What kind of secret is it?" she then asked semi-curiously.  
"I have to show you," he replied simply. She nodded and stepped back into the room. Her eyes were red and a little swollen, but after a crying fit nothing else was to be expected.  
"Don't look like that," she grumbled and lowered her gaze to her wet and crumpled blouse half hanging out of her pants. But instead of putting it back inside, she dragged the rest out and smoothed out the crumpled ends to no avail.  
"We go casually? I like that." Mike managed a halfway convincing grin and took off his jacket. Then he picked Erin's up from the floor and threw them both in the dirty laundry before he pulled his shirt out of his pants and let it hang casually. She lifted a brow.  
"Is it okay or still too formal?" he asked her self-critically.  
"Too many buttons," she said briefly and tapped her collar. Immediately he opened the top shirt buttons.  
"Better?"  
She shrugged. "Halfway to be perfect."  
"Well, that's my service shirt. My leisure outfit is usually a different one."  
"So... station secret or styling questions?" she wanted to know.  
He smiled. "Let's go?"  
Erin just nodded and Mike went ahead.

Before they reached the door to the gym, he paused in the middle of the hallway and fumbled around one of the panels.  
"More hidden doors?" Erin asked. "I should have known."  
"On the station map this is marked as a technical room..." He replied and took a step back as the panel clicked under his grip and finally slid to the side. "After you." Warm yellowish light shone behind the doorway.  
"Woah..." After only two steps, Erin stopped in amazement. Mike also entered and the door slid into place, shutting out the high-tech world and leaving the two behind in a western saloon.  
"Nice, huh?" He winked at her, took a few steps and then swung over the long bar counter.  
"Show-off..." Erin murmured and came closer. Amused, Mike watched her. Although Erin wasn't exactly small, she still had to climb halfway up one of the barstools to pull herself up on the counter. Avoiding the tap from the sink, she let herself slide to the other side, only to be visibly impressed by the bottle collection.  
"Whose feet did you kiss to know about this?" she asked with a wry sidelong glance. He shook his head.  
"I'd rather keep that to myself. One secret a day is enough."  
"I'll get back to it," she noticed dryly and grabbed a bottle of rum. He squatted down and pulled a Guinness from the beer rack.  
"Why doesn't the bar have any classic swing doors?" she wanted to know and took a long sip straight from the bottle with a questioning look.  
"Over there," he pointed to a kind of closet, " -hides the bartender."  
"Well, in that case I can do without his acquaintance."  
"I thought so." For a moment they remained silent and Mike enjoyed the bitter tingling on his tongue.  
"Do you want to drink the whole bottle?" he asked sceptically when Erin studied the rum label.  
"Hmm? No. But you have to start somewhere. Oh boy, they really send the good stuff here."  
"My words." Mike raised his Guinness with a smile on his face.  
"I suppose you'll stick with it?"  
He nodded. "The pub is my church, the Guinness my prayer."  
"Where did you get that?" Amused, she put the rum back on the shelf.  
"Stood in big letters in a pub above the counter. The Irish just know how to do it."  
"Quite right."  
Sipping on his beer, Mike watched Erin gather various things together to pour a shimmering blue cocktail into a big glass a few minutes later.  
"Looks interesting," he remarked.  
"Do you want to try?" she returned.  
"Why not...?" He took a straw from a compartment and tried it. "Bah. Much too strong and much too sweet."  
Erin took a second straw and tried it too. "Hmm. I know what's in it, but I don't know the mixing ratio." She shrugged unimpressed. "But the night is still young." Mike discovered a hard line in her face and concluded that she had also fallen into some kind of self-protection mode, even though he didn't like the idea of her hiding behind alcohol.  
"And what's the name of your drink?"  
"Ask ten bartenders and they'll give fifteen answers. Sky High, Blue Sky, Big Sky, Summer Sky..." She gave him a mocking smile, which he returned.  
The conversation died. Mike was looking for a conversation topic, but he couldn't think of anything useful and Erin's dark face wasn't exactly helpful.

He took a second beer, Erin tried a second cocktail. Finally, he said:  
"John said this shouldn't have happened."  
"But it did."  
"She has... had... implants for robot communication."  
"Malfunction?" Erin asked just over the edge of her glass.  
"I'd be surprised."  
"Why? With all the mental stress she had?" She looked at Mike meaningfully.  
"Yes, but that shouldn't have had any effect. Such implants have to be extremely stable in their function." He started shaking his head. Erin's forehead almost had the question "do you have any?" written on it, but she didn't ask. Instead, she said:  
"For some women it's enough that the right man smiles at them wrong, and they fall into a hormone chaos."  
"That would be a disaster for Maisie and her men's stories," Mike remarked and took a sip.  
"To be honest, I had a completely different impression of Maisie. When we first met, she was so shy and clumsy," Erin said more to her cocktail than to Mike.  
"The first impression is not always the right one."  
"No..."  
Mike looked at Erin who kept staring into her glass. At the very beginning they had all been given a kind of label. The firefighter, the agent, the soldier, the policewoman. It was terribly silly and even a little counterproductive, because it had pushed them into a certain role in the simulations, which partly did not correspond to the person at all. So Vincenzo the firefighter was absolutely no team player and Natasha the agent always seemed to need someone to give her instructions. The petite policewoman had surprised him that she had brought down the massive trainer with just a few simple moves - and even Florianne, who taught unarmed hand-to-hand combat, had managed to nod in admiration. The same policewoman sighed and looked at Mike thoughtfully.  
"What do you think... will Arne file an official protest because he wasn't chosen for Delta143?"  
Mike snorted. "He would anyway, one way or the other. I'm not sure: either he just loves to complain, or he's into paperwork." He shrugged and hid his smile behind the beer bottle when Erin had to smile. They were now devoting themselves to gossip and chitchat stories until Erin sipped her fifth cocktail and emptied it.  
"We're a strange bunch," she said a little vaguely, which didn't surprise Mike when he thought of the quantities of vodka she had dumped in her blue swill. She was doing pretty well for that, especially on an empty stomach.  
"Right..." he said slowly and then held her hand as she grabbed the vodka again. "Don't you think it's enough?" With glassy eyes she looked up at him.  
"My head is still too clear to sleep," she said a little bitterly.  
"Maybe you should rather drink a hot chocolate," he suggested instead. "I won't hold your hair again..."  
"You didn't..." she grumbled back and lowered her eyes to his hand. He let go of the bottle.  
"I won't handle you with kid gloves tomorrow if you have a hangover."  
She showed him her tongue and took a deep shot right out of the bottle. Sighing, Mike emptied his beer and put the empty bottle back before climbing over the counter.  
"I'm going to bed now..." He was almost at the door when he heard a groan and turned around. Uncertain, Erin climbed on the counter, staggering for a moment before looking uneasily towards the floor.  
"Could you please help me...?" she asked a little miserably. He sighed, but nodded.  
"Before you break your neck..." He lifted her down and carefully put her on her feet.

~

"You're lighter than you look."  
Erin suppressed a silly giggle and then tried to prove that she could still walk properly. She realized herself that it didn't work, but luckily Mike kept his mouth shut until they reached their rooms.  
"Sleep well..." He nodded to her.  
"You too." She entered her room and sighed deeply before she changed with trembling fingers. In the bathroom mirror, a red-eyed ghost stared at her, grimacing before reaching for her toothbrush. Which wasn't the best idea, because the spicy mint taste first brought tears to her eyes and the foam did the rest. Choking, she vomited again.  
"Shit," she murmured when she could breathe properly again. "Shit." She stood there for a long moment with her eyes closed before taking a deep breath, rinsing her mouth and trying to brush her teeth again. She dodged her reflection and went back to the bedroom, but the empty bed didn't seem very inviting.  
For the first time, the station really seemed to be uncanny- most of all uncanny lonely. She ran the fingers through her hair and looked at the door, bit her lip and went over to Mike. While she was still knocking, the door slipped open.  
"Hey..."  
With his brow up and toothbrush in his mouth, Mike made half a step out of the bathroom towards her. His hair shimmered moist and he wore slabby shorts to sleep on.  
"Hmm?" he made questioning.  
"I..." Erin started fiddling with the hem of her top. "I... Can I stay here? I... I don't want to have to sleep alone..." She looked on the floor, embarrassed. He mumbled something past his toothbrush before rinsing his mouth and starting again:  
"Sure. The bed is big enough." He winked at her.  
"It wasn't meant that way!" She blushed.  
"I know." His smile disappeared. "Don't you dare steal my blanket!"  
"I can't promise anything," she mumbled and slipped under the same one. The beds were bigger than a single bed, but also not a real double bed, had two pillows, but only one blanket. Mike yawned and turned off the bedside lamp, then he looked for a comfortable position.  
"Sleep well..." he murmured.  
"You too," she whispered back. She listened to Mike's breath, tried to think of everything except Maisie, and at the same time ignored the disgusting feeling in her stomach. The room turned around her; every time she moved, it got worse until she felt the bed was trying to get rid of her. With a soft moan she buried her face in the pillow.  
"Can't you sleep?" Mike asked quietly. The turning stopped so abruptly that she actually swayed.  
"No."  
"Do you want to talk?"  
"I don't want to keep you awake."  
"I don't feel like sleeping," he sighed and turned so violently that the whole mattress wobbled.  
"Hmm...", she made indecisive.  
"I can see the questions in your face."  
She heard his smile. "It's pitch dark."  
"And who tells you that I care?" he asked back.  
"Can you see in the dark?"  
"No."  
Somehow that calmed her down. "So... may I ask you something?"  
"I promise you no answers. But go ahead."  
"Why did you become a soldier?" she wanted to know quietly and looked over to him in the darkness, although she could see nothing.  
"Straight down to the heavy guns, huh? Long or short variant?"  
"The long one, of course."  
He laughed quietly. "All right..." He took a breath. "When I was sixteen, my little brother Jacob was twelve. From one moment to the next, he got incredibly bad at school and our Mum organized a college student for tutoring."  
Erin had a hunch where this was going.  
"My best friend Tony saw her and bet with me that I wouldn't be able to get her into bed."  
"What was the stake?" Erin wanted to know with a smile.  
"To dye your hair green for at least two weeks."  
"Really?"  
"I was at a private school, isolated from the other teenagers. We were still very naïve and unspoiled at sixteen."  
"There's the infinite Internet."  
"Sure, but the girls were the same, there wasn't even any real flirting happening. And that most porn are absolutely unrealistic, we were already aware at that time."  
"Well, at least."  
Mike snorted. "What should I say? I hadn't even come up with a plan when the pretty student got to me first."  
"I thought so."  
"Well..."  
"Did you get caught?"  
"No. Well, yes, but only after it's been going on for a few weeks. My mum was disappointed and the only thing my dad had to say was _Next time, think about separating private and business_."  
"That's a nice way to put it," Erin murmured. Mike just sighed.  
"I've always wondered how they withstood each other. But that's not my beer." He paused for a moment. "Well... Tony dyed his hair green, got a lot of trouble for it and I discovered the world of women. And made it unsafe." She could hear that he had to grin at the memory.  
"From milksop to playboy," she commented.  
"But where is it supposed to come from? My dad and my grandpa were the same back in their days."  
"You almost sound proud..."  
"In retrospect, I don't think so. But back then I was very pleased with myself." He sighed quietly. "Probably there was a bit of everything. Rebellion, emulation, self-discovery..."  
"It's called puberty."  
"I know." He was silent for a moment. "You know, it can go to your head when you enter a club and the women start whispering immediately. _Did you hear he got X last week? Yes, and yesterday I read, he already had Y._"  
Erin giggled involuntarily. "And then they all wrap themselves around your neck as soon as nobody watches anymore?"  
"After a little I-don't-want-him-at-all-show, of course. In the gossip news my name was to be read quite frequently. And my family deliberately ignored it and only intervened when the little scandal threatened to become a big one. An expensive dinner here, a donation there..." He seemed to shrug. "When I turned twenty-one, my grandpa gave me an ultimatum. One more year, and then I would belong entirely to the company."  
"Didn't bother you, did it?"  
"Not really," he admitted.  
"But...?" "Then the city fair happened."  
Erin waited almost eagerly for him to continue speaking. "Aaaaaaaaand...?", she finally went after.  
"The governor's daughter went to high school with me. We ran into each other when she was on a trip with a friend. We went through all the fair bullshit until she really wanted to show me the car that Daddy had given her."  
"Somehow your stories are very predictable," Erin remarked and Mike laughed quietly.  
"Yeah, right? Still... the backseat was very comfortable."  
"And caused a scandal."  
"That alone wouldn't have caused it. But I stumbled directly into her friend who really wanted to show me the governor's office car." He sniffed. "The backseat was just as comfortable, but I didn't know why she seemed so familiar until afterwards."  
"Because...?"  
"Because she was the governor's fifth wife."  
"Oh."  
"You can say that out loud. There were some pretty snapshots and sonorous headlines. And after the hell came down on me from my dad and Grandpa, my ears were ringing."  
"Hmm... but what could they have done?"  
"Except to disinherit me? Nothing. But I came to this thought only afterwards." He sighed and seemed to have buried his face in his hands, because when he continued speaking, his voice sounded muffled. "The next day I went to the examination. And don't come up with that it was brave; it was just stupid. Not only because the USA interfered in the war that was just starting, but also because a guy like me has nothing to laugh about there."  
Erin kept silent, because unfortunately he was absolutely right. To be born with a silver spoon in your mouth was of no use at all in some places.  
"Well...", he then said in a closing tone, "... at some point they noticed that I didn't just look pretty, but that I could use both my brain and my muscles".

He sighed a little. "And what have you done?"  
"Actually nothing," Erin had to admit.  
"Oh, don't tell me."  
"I grew up in a wet and cold small town idyll in England," she began.  
"You can't hear it," he mocked.  
"Bll!" Erin stuck out her tongue. "Well-kept gardens, well-mannered tea parties, well-behaved children... And a picture book family. Father policeman, mother nurse, five pretty daughters." Now it was up to her to sigh. "It was the highlight of the decade when my oldest sister Lucy went to Oxford to study law."  
"That sounds terribly boring," Mike remarked, still with a soft mockery in his voice.  
"It was," she admitted. "But there's also something soothing about it. You know each other, you know how things work. And you know that nothing actually happens."  
"Jesus Christ, it's so clichéd that you can't even make a soap opera out of it," he muttered almost horrified.  
"And I can't even contradict you."  
"At least you're aware of it."  
She giggled. "Of course. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."  
"So? How did you end up here?" He wanted to know and her smile died.  
"My next older sister Cara had enlisted in the military to study medicine there. There was a lot of excitement and our dad was pretty much done because his little girl went to the Army." For a moment she had her father's face in front of her as he tried to hold back the tears because another daughter left.  
"Cara was raped and murdered in her first year. The people in charge didn't exactly stain themselves with fame... and I wanted to do better."  
"So you joined the- what are their names? RedCaps?"  
"Right. And we women of the family all had a dragonfly tattooed because it was Cara's favorite animal."  
"The one on your wrist?"  
"Yes..."  
"A beautiful symbol."  
"Hmm." Erin made depressed. It almost felt as if it had only been yesterday.  
"And your family members seem to be closely connected."  
"Yes... yes, that's how it is in a small town. My grandparents lived around the corner, the mother of my best friend was a second mum to me. And my dad was much too kindhearted for a policeman."  
"I wish I could say the same about my family," Mike said with sincere regret. "But my dad was never a real dad. A father, yes, but not a dad. He put far too much time into the company and my mum cared more about her ballet school than about her boys."  
"That doesn't sound so much like a lovely childhood," Erin admitted.  
"It was nice in a different way. In... the rich way, you know?" he said uncertainly.  
"I can imagine it."  
"When I said goodbye to my parents to go to Atreus, my dad told me some shit about destiny and parental wishes. And my mum said I became the man she had wished for."  
Erin hesitated. "Did she relate that to you as her son?"  
"I doubt it. She probably meant more that she would have wanted a man like me as my father."  
"That sounds... a little weird..."  
"At that time, the two were married for thirty years, but I still wonder how they managed to have three children." He sighed resignedly. "Your parents probably spilled real tears," he added.  
"Oh yes... all of us..." The tears came to Erin as she thought of saying goodbye. Her nephews and nieces had been too young to understand, but her parents and sisters had cried a pond together. She herself had dried her tears before getting on the plane to the spacebase and had managed to suppress her homesickness to some extent.  
But suddenly all this was too much for her. Tears were pouring out between her pressed eyelids.  
"I miss them. I wish...", she began to sob, "... I wish I could call my mum and just get everything off my chest. And then she tells me... _You can do it. I believe in you_." She buried her face in the pillow to smother the sobbing.  
"Shhh," Mike gently made and slowly touched her arm.  
"I..."  
"Shhht." Gently he pulled her over and caressed her hair.  
She wrapped an arm around him.  
"Shhht," he made again. "I'm here, you're not alone..."


	6. 25.02. – Day 6 – But we have to move on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But we have to move on" - "Doch wir müssen weiter" taken from "Abgrund" by Eisbrecher

Erin blinked in the bright light of the room lamp. To compensate a little for the lack of daylight, they turned on by themselves at a given time. Uncertain, she groped for her clock on the bedside table and paused when she heard a faint snoring sound. Slowly she turned around.  
Mike lay there in blissful slumber, one leg hanging out of the bed and the scarred back showing itself to her in all its glory as Erin was almost completely wrapped in the blanket. _I looked like a hedgehog._  
She shivered and then she remembered why she was here in the first place. A little tortured, she grimaced and rubbed her eyes sticking from dried tears. She quietly stood up and covered Mike before returning to her own room.

~

With a grumbling stomach, Erin leaned against the ordering terminal and tried to find out what on the one hand could satisfy her hunger and on the other hand did not irritate her sensitive stomach too much. She didn't need the experience of milk after alcohol-induced vomiting a second time. She rubbed her face and sighed softly. She was ashamed. She was ashamed of her behavior towards Maisie and especially for revealing herself like that to Mike. _I don't know how I made it to the RedCaps._  
Successfully, she managed to avoid crying again, but her headaches got worse. With a suppressed moan she ran through her hair.  
"Something's going wrong."  
She flinched so violently that she banged her elbow and cried out. Mike stood in the doorway with his eyebrows raised, looking at her critically.  
"What?" She gasped and felt as if she had just escaped a heart attack.  
"I'm usually the one who disappears from other people's beds. And I don't get tucked in." With an amused smile he joined her.  
"I'm sorry," she said softly and lowered his eyes; the shame came back with full force.  
"What, that you tucked me in?" His humor didn't make it better.  
"That I cried all over you," she murmured to the terminal and chose a stomach tea. Mike paused for a moment.  
"We're only human. We all have our limits. And when it comes to small people, those boundaries are a little smaller." He winked at her and looked down at her while she looked up at him - after all, he was a head taller than she was.  
"Says the one who's half plastic," she replied a little late and grabbed her tea.  
"Don't overdo it. Even if it was a good one," he admitted and sat down at the table with her. She held the warm tea cup tightly and stared into the yellow-brown water as if she could find an answer there. Mike leaned heavily on the table and bent over until their heads almost touched. He tapped her hand a few times with his index finger before he began to speak.  
"Listen... After my first time in combat, I threw up. And the second... and the third. The fourth time, I got a bullet and I cried like a little girl. In the helicopter crash some of my comrades were killed and when we said goodbye to their coffins in the freighter, I cried, too. Mike the Hedgehog survived and my friend did not. He only got a single splinter because I shielded him, but it went through his eye." A little shaky, he took a breath and Erin squeezed his hand. Mike had apparently been more lucky than good, and as much as his humor got on her nerves sometimes, she could understand that he hid his mental scars behind it.  
For a while they sat there in silence and held each other before Erin leaned back.  
"I'm glad I didn't meet you in your Playboy days."  
A smile flitted across Mike's face. "Me too..."  
She bit her lip and lowered her eyes, then she sighed softly. "I don't want to sound ungrateful, but without Maisie, we're back where we started."  
Mike rubbed his face. "Maybe John has an idea."  
"Only one way to find out." Erin stood up and nodded to Mike.

~

"Good... my goodness..." John seemed genuinely surprised when he looked at Erin and Mike. "May I recommend you both get a medical check?"  
"I pass," Mike muttered.  
"I'll pass as well, thanks. John..." Erin tugged her jacket sleeve uncomfortably, "... we can't unlock the colony without Maisie..."  
"Do you really need a technician... or will this do?" He pulled something from his breast pocket.  
"Oh! Maisie's security badge!" Mike reached for it.  
"It's intact because Maisie had it in a secure access terminal," John said, nodding to both of them.  
"And I thought... " Erin started, but then she stopped.  
"Before you enter the colony, we should check the B6n concentration. I'll see if I can transfer the results back here." John took a look at both of them. "But I'm afraid there's no getting around the hazmat suits."  
"In that case, I'm definitely going to recommend caution," Mike mumbled. Erin nodded.  
"I'm not entirely comfortable with what we might stumble into."  
"I'm betting on a bunch of skeletons, if I'm honest. What?" he looked at Erin, who had an unhappy face. "I'm already trying to keep my fantasy in check."  
"I'm not sure I want to know what it would say," she admitted.  
"Hmm. Cue zombie and ghoul." He shrugged.  
"That's what I meant..." She sighed with resignation.  
"Haven't you ever found it fun to fight your way through zombie hordes on a console?"  
She gave him a doubtful look. "No."  
He sighed. "Too bad."  
John cleared his throat and said: "And maybe you should take a good look at the schematics first."  
"Right." Erin nodded at him.  
"Well, then..." Mike also nodded and they left the lab.

~

At the security center, Erin let her chair slide to a small, unlit terminal. Mike did the same.  
"Well, then..." Erin inserted her security badge into the activation slot of the terminal, which immediately came to life. Row after row of cryptic commands wandered across the screen before the headline **Security Protocol Delta143** was formed. Below it were some general data, followed by their names, with a green dot flashing behind Erins.  
"I think we're gonna need your ID too." She looked at Mike, who nodded. He slid his ID into a second slot and a green dot appeared behind his name as well. Then the whole screen seemed to flash and Erin blinked blinded until the terminal displayed some kind of checklist.  
"Do we really have to work through all the steps?" Mike asked doubtingly and with a critically frown.  
"I'm afraid so. But most of them we can just check off, look. Lab safety guaranteed. Food supply guaranteed." She selected and confirmed the individual points.  
"What about the technical stuff?" He asked further. "Do we have to do this from the technical centre? I've never been in there."  
"Neither have I. But there's room for two more IDs. Put Maisies in." Erin replied with a shrug. He followed her request and some points on the list checked out by themselves.  
"I guess that answers my question..."  
"Hmm." She nodded. "The station is secure. We should be able to unlock the colony now, right?"  
Mike didn't answer, but slid to another terminal that was monitoring access and entry. "The capsule room is still locked down for security reasons. Dial up colony security."  
"Okay..." Erin touched the point which lit up red.  
"And?"  
"Just tells me the colony's locked down."  
"No conditions?"  
"No conditions."  
"Very well."  
She looked over her shoulder, Mike tapped around a little.  
"And... here we are."  
_Colony security compromised- requires verification- no security personnel access logged_  
"Very good. That means we can just walk in there now," Erin said with more enthusiasm than she felt.  
"Well..." mumbled Mike, "_just like that_ might be a little over the top." From another terminal, he brought the plan of the colony onto the holotable. "Here's the lock connection. Behind it is a kind of atrium from which you can go everywhere." He pointed to the location. "To the south are the workshops, plant cultivation and greenhouses. To the east and west are the shelters, leisure areas, infirmary and everything else."  
"If we don't stumble over all the answers right away, we may have to look at everything," Erin said, slowly letting her gaze wander over the colony. Mike took a deep breath.  
"At worst, they're all dead. From what John told us about the B6n, I think that's a very likely scenario. At best, only the young and the old died. But after eight years of exposure to this stuff, I don't have faith in it."  
"To be honest, neither do I." Erin made a depressed face. They paused for a moment.  
"Tomorrow after breakfast we'll take a little look around," Mike said determinedly. "And unless we're running into an army of zombies, the safety of the colony should be ensured."  
"Pfff..." Erin made a face.  
"What? Then we can cancel the security protocol and relax and wait for the ship." Mike shrugged.  
"Somehow I have a feeling that things won't just go on as before," she remarked and looked over at him.  
"No, I guess not." He clasped his hands behind his neck. "People shouldn't just die in a research station."  
"Not only that. But we only have ten technicians. And we depend on functioning programs and robots."  
"Yeah..." he said stretched, "It's kinda silly waiting 50 years for a replacement."  
Again they were silent for a moment before he got up and said:  
"By late this afternoon we can expect an answer from Mr Black. Otherwise..."  
Erin got up too. "... otherwise we have nothing left but to wait," she finished the sentence.  
"Unless you feel like doing some scouting." He nodded with his chin at the holo-projection.  
"Not really. My stomach wouldn't forgive me."  
"Yeah, mess in a hazmat suit," he muttered sarcastically.

~

Next to the large and with the current atmosphere rather useless main entrance, were the changing rooms and the car garage, both equipped with air locks. The suit room reminded Erin very much of the locker rooms in her school days, except that the lockers were much bigger and also showed their names. All the security guards and technicians had their own custom suits, plus twenty more in standard sizes. She went straight to her locker and opened it with a hand scan.  
"This brings back memories of the simulations," Mike said a few lockers to the left.  
"Do you miss them?" She asked with a snort.  
"Well... if you don't mind the absurdity of most of them, they'd be better than being bored right now."  
"Sad but true." She grumbled grimly at the blue and yellow hazmat suit hanging in her locker. They were specially made for the atmosphere at Atreus, with an air purifier backpack, which contained a small oxygen cylinder for emergencies, and all sorts of technical gadgets in the helmet. She touched the material, tested foldability and stretch, and looked at the neck fastener.  
"Do you think we should do a short test?" she asked thoughtfully.  
"Because we've never used them before?" Mike asked back. "Right."  
They exchanged an unhappy look, then sighed almost simultaneously and Erin took off her boots. She remembered the simulations' movements, and quickly she got into her suit and pulled the helmet out of its socket. The suits were designed in such a way that you could put them on and take them off on your own in an emergency, but just getting the helmet to snap correctly into the safety catch and lock it was a real fiddle with the gloves.  
"Hey... could you lend me a hand?" Mike piped up.  
"I could lend you even two..." Erin turned to him. He came up to her and put his helmet on. She put hers down briefly and then slowly and carefully attached the safety catch to Mike's helmet. He squinted a little to look at the helmet display before nodding and now Erin put her helmet on.  
When the suit was locked, the technology snapped on and in her ear there was a crack.  
"So... short trip outside, or should we just leave it for an airlock check?"  
"While we're in here, we might as well leave the station for a while," she replied.  
"Sounds good. Walk around the lake?" Mike grinned cheekily when he saw Erin's eye rolling.  
They entered the lock together, which hissed and sputtered and then released them to the outside world. Atreus was a yellow-brown rocky planet, and the road leading from the station to the temporary spaceport was barely visible under all the sand blowing in. At the moment, however, only a gentle breeze was blowing, and its display disappeared somewhere on the edge of Erin's helmet. Instead, she lifted her face into the afternoon sun in a longing gesture.  
"Plenty warm for February," Mike mocked. She looked at him and sighed. There were no real seasons at Atreus, because the temperature didn't fluctuate strongly enough during the year. But since the day length of twenty-two and a half hours was quite appropriate, they had deliberately ignored the year length of a little less than three hundred days and simply transferred the Earth calendar to Atreus. Without responding to Mike's comment, she had the suit checked by itself and was satisfied when it indicated that everything was in perfect order.  
"Shall we go back inside? Or do you want to walk around the lake alone?" she asked afterwards.  
"Never mind, it's boring alone." Playfully sad, he shook his head.

~

The last official act of the day was the daily report and Erin accompanied Mike to the security center because she wanted to know if a message from Earth had arrived in the meantime. As soon as Mike entered the room, he said:  
"Well, look at that."  
She only saw the flashing envelope symbol when he walked quickly to the terminal.  
"I don't think Mr Black has very much to say," she suspected. "A few days ago, we basically had nothing but question marks." She sat with Mike, who already opened the message.

_Erin, Michael,_

_Your message has shocked us here and we hope to hear about the fate of the Atreus colonists as soon as possible. Our access to the station is very limited--TOO limited, as it now appears--but your autonomy was very important to the first developers. Our only option is to activate the Delta protocols, but the rest lies in your hands. We can't disable Delta143, nor can we wake up a technician for you; I'm afraid there is a need for revision. Try to work with John as much as possible, so that you can land the ship when it reaches Atreus._

_I am sorry, but I am afraid Earth cannot help you._

_Mr. Black..._

"What did I say? Just blah blah," Erin growled sullenly as Mike just sighed in disappointment.  
"We were expecting it," he then said softly.  
"I know. Our luck was only that Maisie was woken up by the system for all the maintenance and repairs. Otherwise we'd sit here till the end of our days watching the cat chase its tail!" She was frustrated. Everything at Atreus was meticulously structured and protocol-driven, but the earth kept itself out of the loop when things went wrong.  
"And I bet that's all we get to hear. Mr Black will look at our reports, nod and wait until everything lights up green again." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mike give her a crooked look. "What? The message was totally unnecessary."  
"Why are you so upset about this?"  
"Because I get the feeling that the Earth doesn't care about us anymore." She stared at the message darkly, but didn't really see it.  
"Hey... the people sitting there now; the team behind _Mr Black_... they weren't even born when we got on the ship," Mike said cautiously. It was a strange thought, but:  
"That doesn't make it better."  
"I know."  
She looked up at him, who wore a half-hearted smile. She pressed her lips together and shut down the terminal.  
"You look like you need to blow off some steam," he noticed and stood up. "What do you say: are we going to meet with the punching bag?"  
She made a grumbling sound and without answering him further, she went ahead.


	7. 26.02. – Day 7 – Thistles blossom in the entrails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Thistles blossom in the entrails" - "Es grünen Disteln in den Eingeweiden" taken from "Galgenballade" by Saltatio Mortis

Erin stared at her salmon bagel and regretted her choice. She had been craving something salty, but after the first bite she got queasy in the stomach.   
"Come on, you gotta eat," Mike gently admonished her, shovelling a portion of scrambled eggs on toast into him.   
"I know." She made a face, but then continued to eat slowly.   
"The ship should be here in a week or two. What are we going to do until then?" Mike asked, chewing.   
"If the security protocol is disabled, the capsule room should open. We could initiate a new shift," she replied with a shrug. "But I think there is a protocol for the arrival of a ship. We should check it out first."   
"You mean because we've had to stay up for a few months ourselves...?" He frowned thoughtfully and she nodded.   
"I have no idea how many people are arriving, but the shelters must be ready, and I haven't seen any access to them yet."   
"I guess that's true. All right, we'll think about that when the time comes. Let's go pay a visit to the colony first." He smiled encouragingly at her and she sighed.

~

Packed in hazmat suits and with a semi-automatic rifle at their side, Erin and Mike finally stood in front of the airlock between the research station and the colony. They passed their IDs through the scanner, which beeped and then flashed yellow before the voice of the station said:   
"Lockdown canceled - access granted."   
The airlock opened and they entered. There was a hissing sound for a moment before the opposite door opened and gave way to the atrium. Erin was amazed. The atrium had a glass roof and in the light-flooded entrance hall stood a graceful oak tree surrounded by flowerpots and benches.   
"Wow," Mike noticed, Erin's headset cracked softly. "Accommodations are on the right."   
"Good," she replied curtly and took a last look at the magnificent dahlias, whose colorful flowers hung heavily on the stems.   
The passage they entered led them first past a meeting hall, with simple rows of chairs and a small podium. Next came a small library and a lounge with comfortable armchairs, shelves with games, a music system on a table, and in one corner Erin discovered a football table and a pool table. Everything was extremely clean and tidy.   
"Something's wrong here," Mike expressed Erin's thoughts as they stepped back into the hall.   
"I wouldn't say it like that," she said softly and gave him a quick glance.   
"Why? It seems so far that no one has ever been here. I mean, it's a nice conspiracy theory, but I was counting on skeletons." He sounded tense.   
"What if just someone is still alive?" She returned. "It's not just clean and tidy... you saw the flowers in the atrium. Someone has to take care of them. And I don't think any of the greenhouse robots are running around freely."   
Mike gave an incomprehensible mumbling sound and then they entered a large kitchen. On one wall there were two small order terminals, on another there was a simple but extensive kitchenette. In between were lots of tables and chairs. But not everything was spick and span here. On some tables there were crumbs and stains and on a kitchen counter there was a napkin.   
"Mike..."   
"I see..."   
They went on and reached a six-point junction.   
"If there's still-"   
**"Stop!"** Suddenly from all directions came figures holding garden tools like weapons. In a flowing movement Erin pulled her rifle to a stop at waist level and slid back-to-back with Mike. They were surrounded by colonists. However, those reminded her more of Mike's ghoul scenario, because saying the colonists were disfigured was a friendly way of putting it. Their skin looked like the yellow-brown cracked earth of Atreus, their heads were bald, and where their ears and nose should have been, crusty holes yawned.   
"Who are you and what do you want?" asked a scratchy voice somewhere behind Erin.   
"Those are Matt and Emily," someone whispered harshly.   
"Activate exterior loudspeakers," Mike muttered, then said: "Not quite. We are Mike and Erin, the human originals."   
"What difference does it make?" someone hissed.   
"They've intruded!"   
"Activate exterior loudspeakers. We're security at the research station and-" That was enough to trigger a cacophony. The colonists called Erin and Mike names, but they also seemed to want to get at each other's throats. Opposite Erin stood a man in blue work trousers and a dark shirt, who threatened her with a sharp edged spade.   
"You have no business here," he drooled and drove around when a woman- Erin identified her as such by a red dress- grabbed him by the shoulder.   
"And who gives you the right to make that determination, James?" she asked.   
"Oh, Lord in Heaven..." Erin sighed, swtiched the rifle to single shot and fired a warning shot to the ceiling.   
Immediately it was silent.   
"Fine. Can we talk like civilized people? Can we? Thank you. Who's in charge here?"   
"I." it growled behind her.   
"I." said the woman in front of her. It was hard to estimate how many colonists were here, but Erin guessed that there couldn't have been more than thirty. And apparently they were split into two camps.   
"You odd fishes have nothing better to do than pray and sing," the man drooled. Erin recognized him as the one who had already spoken at the beginning. He had an accent she couldn't place.   
"At least we didn't let bitterness and hatred eat us up," the woman shot back. "My name is Pax," she then added, turning to Erin and bowing her head in greeting.   
Erin nodded back.   
"Oh go!" The man went into insults and foreign-language swearing and again everyone shouted in confusion. This time Erin did not wait long, but shot again.   
"I will not repeat myself a third time. We are all civilized people. So take away your spades and pitchforks, no one called for a witch-hunt," she then said angrily. "So... Pax and...?"   
"Felix." came the growled answer.   
"Pax and Felix, good. Hold your flocks and your tongues, my patience is not long and the fuse is even shorter."   
Pax nodded, James next to her finally took the spade down and took a step back.   
"You heard the lady, Felix," Mike said politely. Erin put on a smile for those who could see her.   
"Marvelous. I'll make it short. We're security at the research station. We were awakened a week ago by a security protocol. Ten years ago, Dr. Matthew Foster single-handedly initiated a project whose goal was to make you colonists more resistant to the Atreus gas B6n. He spent two years researching and infecting you with various pathogens before manipulating the colony's air supply. We don't know exactly what his plan was, but our scientific android John assumes that something went wrong. He is still reconstructing things as we were about to override the security protocol."   
"Why didn't you come sooner?" She was interrupted by someone who seemed to be laboriously holding back his anger.   
"After an initial review, it was highly unlikely anyone survived the experiment. But even if we had wanted to, the security protocol is not fully thought through and we had some technical difficulties getting here at all."   
"What about that bastard Foster?" someone else wanted to know.   
"Dead."   
This caused murmurs.   
"Why didn't Earth respond?"   
"Because Foster has programmed a simple but effective messenger."   
"Can we be cured?"   
"Will someone be held accountable?"   
Question after question came crashing down on Erin and Mike.   
**"Hey!"** He yelled over the chaos and it ebbed away. "If we can, we will help you. Although I think that's more John's job. But you've made it this far, and-"   
"Pah. Hogwash. You guys on your station never took any interest in us. You have sleeping capsules and every comfort, and we-"   
"Oh shut up!" Pax went into Felix's rant. "You heard them! Foster sent everyone to sleep and then started his own little game. I for one am glad someone came to check on us. Thanks." She nodded majestically at Erin again.   
Erin wrung a wry smile from herself. "That's our job." Then she added: "Felix, I don't want to start a discussion of principles here, but I strongly suspect that you came here voluntarily. You knew what you were getting into."   
Felix growled an insult.   
"Damn it, according to John's calculations nobody should have survived this fucked up experiment and yet here you stand. So pull yourself together! In less than three weeks a spaceship will arrive with new colonists and they have no idea how to live here." Erin had dropped the bomb. There was silence for a few heartbeats before chaos broke out again.   
"I'm getting tired of this."   
"I doubt they'll let us go that easily though," Mike replied quietly to Erin's murmur to him.   
"Me too. But I sure as hell am not gonna be lynched by a mob with pitchforks."   
He laughed softly. "If you promise not to blow up the colony, I'll let you shoot again."   
"I'm trying." This time she fired three shots at once, which she directed into another corner of the ceiling.   
"Please talk to each other calmly about the news and let it sink in. When you're ready to talk to us again, let us know. Then we'll come back with John." She paused for a moment. "Can we leave it like this?"   
"Fine by me," Pax said calmly, but clearly tense.   
"You do what you want anyway," Felix said bitterly.   
"And you still have to kick it one more time," Pax sighed in his direction. "I'll escort you to the lock."   
"No need," Mike said politely, and showed up at Erin's side. "We'll find the way."   
The colonists backed away from them and gave way.   
Erin felt the stares in her back.

~

"I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry," Mike said. His helmet clacked loudly as he put it down violently and then, just behind the airlock, began to tear the suit from his body.   
"What exactly do you mean?" Erin asked and put her helmet down much more gently. He paused and stared at her.   
"Among other things also you."   
She stared back.   
"I mean, nice performance, but since when does John assume Foster screwed up his experiment? When did he start making survival rate calculations?"   
"It's called tactical negotiation," she said coolly. They examined each other for a moment.   
"I need a cold shower," he finally muttered, then gathered up his stuff and left. Erin exhaled slowly and rubbed her face. Then she heard a soft knock behind her and turned around. On the other side of the airlock she saw a blurry figure knocking and waving. She sighed and entered the airlock; her suit hung around her hips but she didn't care. From the other side Pax entered.   
"Erin."   
"Pax."   
"Where's Mike?"   
"Taking a shower."   
"Washing away the misery?" Pax asked with a sad smile. Erin shrugged.   
"Under the given circumstances, we didn't have time to devise a conversation strategy. I think I took him by surprise a bit."   
"The world can use strong women."   
"It looks like Atreus has you."   
Pax smiled. "I've stood up to Felix from the beginning. He's been several times to the point where he wanted to storm the station by force, but violence and hatred is no solution." She paused for a moment. "We suspected all along Foster wasn't exactly the cleanest of men, but he was the only one who cared about us. He used to take a few of us for tests and explained to us that we might have been infected with a native bacterium. And then suddenly he stopped coming. Instead, in the morning, our children were lying dead in their beds." Again Pax paused and looked at her claw-like hands. "I'm the first person born on Atreus, and I know of no other home but this one. I will never hold my baby in my arms again, but sometimes people need disasters to learn from them. And these new colonists... they're gonna have to live with us. After all, we can't send them back to Earth."   
"No," Erin said softly. She honestly didn't know what to say. "It's easy to get hung up on a scapegoat. Do you think things will calm down?"   
"The hardliners like Felix and James certainly not. But most of the others just need a valve. Every move, every breath hurts. The sight of the others. Self-hatred or self-pity. It's all... been building up for eight years. I'm afraid two weeks is not enough time to adjust to the fact that..." Pax searched for words, but found only tears.   
Erin could almost grasp her pain and slowly reached out her hand. Pax grabbed it and squeezed it briefly before taking a step back.   
"Thanks... just... just thanks..."

~

The darkness was oppressive, but Erin stared into it anyway. She couldn't really say why she had gone to bed so early, but there she was, lying there trying to think of nothing. John had been much more shaken than she would have thought possible with an android. He had immediately set out to check the possibilities of the medical capsules in the colony. Erin had retreated to the library and crawled into one of the books, but escaping reality was only a temporary relief.   
The bedroom door slipped open and Mike entered, hesitant in the darkness.   
"Are you asleep?" he asked softly.   
"No." She rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp. "But I guess I was looking for a place where I could curl up under a warm blanket without feeling totally exposed."   
He snorted a little amused and took off his jacket. "I'm glad my bed makes you feel so safe." He threw the jacket over the chair and took off the belt to put it over it.   
"The feeling doesn't come from the bed. It comes from you." With her chin on her bent knees, she looked at him, who paused and gave her a thoughtful look.   
"Now how do I rank this statement?" he finally asked and turned to take off his boots.   
"Into the trust category."   
"...ah." After a quick sideways glance he grabbed his sleeping clothes and went into the bathroom.   
Erin listened to the noises and distracted herself from the day's events. Pax' disfigured face, with tears streaming down it, would haunt her dreams for a long time.   
Finally, Mike sat on his side of the bed and sighed.   
"Hmm?" Erin asked.   
"Doesn't that seem strange to you?"   
"What?"   
"This." He patted the bed. She swallowed her dry remark and said:   
"If you don't want me to sleep here, just say so."   
"That's not what I mean..."   
"Then what?"   
He seemed depressed. "The colonists- they lost everyone they loved. Parents, siblings, children, partners... They have only themselves, only this explosive group dynamic to deal with, and we..." He stopped. Erin raised an eyebrow, but since he didn't continue, she said softly:   
"Disasters and tragedies bring people together. People are not made to be alone, they need closeness. Especially emotionally."   
"And that's why you knocked on my door..." He replied with a questioning undertone.   
"I shared a room with my sister Cara until she moved out," she said slowly. "Until I moved into the dorm myself, I found it terrible to be alone. In the dormitory, in the barracks, even in Atreus training, I didn't have to sleep in a room by myself. I am not used to it. And the shifts here didn't make it better." She looked at him apologetically and he smiled weakly.   
"And I'm not used to sleeping in the same bed with a woman. At least not like this..."   
"Does it bother you that you have to keep your hands to yourself?" She couldn't help herself and was reassured to see that he had to smile.   
"It doesn't matter what I say now, does it?"   
She shrugged. "You're an alpha male, so yes, probably."   
Surprised, he raised an eyebrow.   
"I told you before that you have a special aura. Nothing has changed in that."   
"Yes, I remember," He said stretched. "But back then you were referring to your shooting skills, not your sense of safety."   
"That makes a total package." There was something in his gaze that she couldn't interpret. Was he embarrassed?   
An uncomfortable silence fell and Erin turned off the light. Mike tossed and turned for a while, before he calmed down.

_It's not fair. Pax lost her partner and a baby, and I'm sitting here teasing a colleague. _   
_"Justice is a man-made concept. Nature is not fair. It's survival of the fittest." _   
_"But, Dad, how can you say that? You're a cop!" _   
_"So what? In one country a multiple murderer is executed, in another country he is put into psychiatric care. In one country, a life sentence means you're actually in prison until death. In another, it is only twenty-five or maybe thirty years. Do you think that's fair?" _   
_"...no." _   
_"You see, sweetheart. Everyone has a different sense of justice. If it weren't, the world would be a much more peaceful place."_

Erin rubbed her face. Mike's slow breathing had turned into a soft snore. She sighed softly and pulled the blanket up under her chin, hoping for sleep without nightmares chasing her.


	8. 27.02. – Day 8 – Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Crazy" - "Verrückt" by Eisbrecher

With a shaky breath Erin awakened from her sleep, she fought her way out of the blankets and touched her nose - it was still there.   
_"You have done nothing for us... now you suffer with us..."_ Felix' scratchy voice faded with the rest of the nightmare. Sweaty and a little disturbed, she tried to breathe calmly; her heartbeat calmed down slowly.   
Just as she was about to get up, the light in the room went on and she suppressed a moan. She felt as if she had barely slept. Mike mumbled something incomprehensible and she half turned to him.   
"Hmm?"   
"Is it morning already?" he murmured sleepily.   
"Looks like it."   
"Gnah!" He buried his face in the pillow. Apparently, he had slept as badly as she had.   
"I'm gonna take a shower," she announced, then grabbed towels from a cabinet.   
"Hmm. Have fun." Mike sat up slowly and rubbed his face, he seemed anything but awake. Erin nodded, though he didn't see it, and went into the bathroom.   
Her reflection had dark circles under her eyes and a spot formed on her chin. _At least I can be annoyed about spots. Or greasy hair._ She made a face and got out of her clothes. Just as she was about to turn on the water, she heard voices. Frowning, she stopped and listened: Mike seemed to be talking to a woman, but who could that be? For a moment she chewed on her lower lip. The uneasy feeling finally won and so she wrapped herself in a towel, opened the door and froze in amazement.   
Mike knelt only in his underpants in front of the bed, hands behind his head like a prisoner. His face was distorted in pain and Erin realized that Emily, crouching in front of him, had her hand on his crotch by no means in a tender gesture.   
"You may as well admit it."   
"I have nothing to admit," Mike growled low. Emily's lips moved without sound; only when the lip movements stopped did her voice say:   
"If you don't confess, I'll have to punish you harder." She sounded soft, she even smiled, but from Mike's expression she seemed to squeezed harder. Erin swallowed hard; the scenario was too weird for her to actually realize it.   
"Bad guys must be punished," Emily said softly while her lips moved asynchronously. Mike moaned in pain and began to tremble.   
"Emily... Emily deactivate," Erin finally blurted out. Nothing happened.   
"I'm... not... a... bad... boy." Mike squeezed his eyes shut as he laboriously choked out the words; he breathed quickly and shallowly.   
"Bad guys must be punished. Bad guys must be punished." Emily repeated this sentence more and more choppy, over and over again while her mouth remained open. Erin frantically tried to find a solution.   
"Emily deactivate," she shouted again, but the android seemed to have flipped a fuse. A barely perceptible jolt went through her body and with a soft sigh Mike collapsed unconscious to the side.   
"Oh God..." Erin whispered while Emily followed Mike's movement. "Emily let him go." Her head was jerking around.   
"Bad guys must be punished. Bad girls too."   
Erin swallowed and shivered as Emily pulled back her hand and stood up, twitching. There was a red smudge on her hand.   
"Bad girls must be punished." She made a sudden jerky step forward. Thoughts raced in Erin's head. _Gun!_ Her stuff was on the table next to Emily, but the android was moving jerkily and twitchily towards her.   
"Bad girls..."   
Erin backed away and made a startled jump when Emily suddenly stumbled much faster towards her.   
"...punished..."   
Erin fled forward and jumped onto the bed, stumbled, lost her towel and clumsily arrived on the floor on the other side. While Emily turned around and stumbled against the bed, Erin reached the table and pulled her gun out of the holster.   
"Emily- deactivate!"   
Emily's smile faded into a grin. "Bad... "   
Erin shot until it clicked. From Emily's ears as well as from three bullet holes, fine smoke poured out, from two other holes liquid seeped onto the white blouse.   
"Oh, God..." Erin took a deep breath and watched as Emily closed her eyes and lowered her chin onto her chest.   
"Oh, God... oh, God..." Erin dropped the gun when her eyes flinched at Mike. "Oh, shit! Mike!" She knelt down beside him, grabbed his shoulder and turned him onto his back. Absent, he groaned; a smeared bloodstain remained on the floor.   
"Mike! Hey!" She patted his cheek a little rough, but not an eyelash moved. _Med bay!_ Her eyes flinched towards the bed. Part of her mind was halfway through making a makeshift stretcher, before another part was also slapping her for stupidity. She stood up and stumbled over her own feet to the door. At the control panel of the room she pressed a red button so hard that it cracked.   
"John! _John!"_ Through the closed door she heard her own voice echo through the station. She almost screamed. "We have an emergency, I need you here!" Again she let herself sink next to Mike and this time she brushed much more gently over his cheek.   
"Hey... John's coming. He can take you to the infirmary." For what felt like an eternity she talked to him in a calming way until finally John stood in the doorway.   
"What's- oh!" Without another word, he lifted Mike up as if he was weighing no more than a pillow. When Erin followed him to the door, he said over his shoulder: "You should put some clothes on."   
"Oh... yeah..." She blushed.

~

"This is not in accordance with regulations."   
"You're the only one around who cares." Erin didn't bother to look down on herself. She was not wearing a jacket and the blouse was hanging wrongly buttoned from her pants. She didn't care. John wrinkled his nose and turned back to the medical capsule whose lid had become opaque except for the facial area.   
"In approximately forty-eight hours, all tissue and thus his fertility will be fully restored."   
Erin didn't like the way John pointed it out. "As hackneyed as the phrase is, it was nowhere near what it looked like."   
John gave her a quick sideways glance. "It's none of my business."   
She stepped to the capsule and made a face. Even in his healing sleep, Mike looked like he was in pain.   
"Was it really necessary to destroy Emily?"   
"Excuse me, but a single shot to the knee won't stop a crazed android," she replied angrily. "And her cliché program was stuck somewhere in punishment."   
John grimaced.   
"Don't you think I would've deactivated her if I could've?" She added. He didn't respond and she looked back at Mike. _I'm sorry. I should have reacted faster and better._ Of course, he did not respond to her thoughts.   
"You know what I'd really like to know?" She looked at John, who was half leaving. He turned to her.   
"Which is?"   
"Why on earth is there even an android that looks like my clone? It's a fucking shitty feeling, having to shoot yourself."   
For a moment John just looked at her, then said regretfully: "It's not for me to answer that."   
"Oh, then go to hell!" She turned away and went to the panel wall to order fresh clothes for Mike. But in her anger she got the wrong one and with a fine buzz a screen went out of the wall.

_A few chairs had been placed in the room next to the capsule to make it into a kind of waiting room. Mike sat there bored, Vincenzo stood and had a hand on his hip; he didn't look very happy. Dr. Steve Tennyson entered and nodded at Vincenzo.   
"You can go over there." As Erin sat down, Tennyson, addressing Mike, added: "I'll get the anesthetic."   
Mike simply nodded. Vincenzo and Tennyson left the improvised waiting room and Erin nervously began to knead her fingertips.   
"Are you scared?" Mike asked. Erin grimaced.   
"They're going for the bone marrow. So, yes, I am."   
Mike wanted to say something, but interrupted himself when Tennyson came back with a bowl.   
"I'm afraid we have neither the time nor the resources to do this in the classic general anesthetic. But the capsule is quick and thorough and with the immediate healing you can leave immediately afterwards. All forms of exercise are forbidden for forty-eight hours."   
Erin and Mike nodded.   
"Please lift up your shirt."   
Mike did as he was told and Tennyson disinfected a small area on the left and right side of the back hip before he injected a small needle into each.   
"So...when Vincenzo's done, I'll come and get you."   
Mike nodded and Tennyson left. Erin looked after him. She had read enough to have a nervous anxiety knot in her stomach. And then without general anesthesia...   
"Shall I come in and hold your hand?" Mike looked down at her seriously; for once he didn't seem to be making jokes. "I'm a big brother, I've got experience," he added with a cheery smile.   
"I don't know..." Erin muttered shamefully and lowered her eyes.   
They waited in silence until Tennyson came back with an abundantly pale Vincenzo. The latter dropped himself on a chair with a suppressed groan.   
"As soon as Mike is finished, you may go."   
Vincenzo nodded weakly.   
"Mike?"   
Mike nodded and turned to leave.   
"Erin, I'll be right back."   
Erin also nodded to Tennyson. When they had left, Vincenzo started cursing in Italian.   
"What does _cazzo _mean?" she asked as Vincenzo took a breath.   
"What?"   
"I must have heard that 20 times by now."   
"Oh... dick. But that's not a word for women."   
"Well, we don't have one."   
Vincenzo smiled. "No. But I mean, it's not very stylish for a woman to curse like that."   
Erin smiled back. "You wouldn't believe the words I heard when I accompanied my sister to the birth of her second child."   
"My Nonna once said, a woman can say anything during childbirth and her husband has to forget it immediately afterwards."   
Erin didn't get a chance to answer, because on the one hand Tennyson entered, on the other hand a suppressed cry of pain resounded from the next room.   
"Oh, God," she muttered.   
"Mike's not quite such a hard-ass after all, hmm?" Vincenzo mocked.   
"Erin, please lift your blouse up a little," Tennyson ignored the remark and Erin stood up. The sanitizer spray was cold and the anesthetic burned like fire. She hissed through her clenched teeth.   
"Good. Oh, Vincenzo, when you leave, remind the others that this is a mandatory event."   
"Sure."   
Tennyson left again.   
"It hurts, doesn't it?" Erin asked softly. Vincenzo nodded and showed her his hand with bloody bite marks on it. Erin felt sick to the stomach.   
The minutes dragged on until Tennyson and an ample pale Mike reappeared. Vincenzo was dismissed and with a muffled _"Madonna mia!"_ he got up. As the door closed behind him, Mike said:   
"My offer is still valid."   
"Capsules have lids," Erin replied dully, wiping her sweaty hands on her pants.   
"Not this one," Tennyson said with a smile. She nodded slightly to Mike and the three of them went into the next room. The capsule there had had the lid removed and next to it stood Dr. Vedernikov and Dr. Musa, the latter giving Mike an irritated look but saying nothing. Tennyson took a pink bundle from a panel and held it out to Erin, then nodded to the screen in the background.   
"Thank you," she muttered silently and went to change. The pink bundle was a short-sleeved dress that went down to her knees and had a big cutout at the back of her hips.   
"Why doesn't the capsule have a lid?" she asked when she was finished and came out from behind the screen. While Tennyson reached out a hand to help her onto the bed, Vedernikov said with a heavy russian accent:   
"Because it has no straps. We have to hold you down."   
She swallowed and lay down.   
"Put your arms under your head... exactly..." Tennyson's voice took on an even more soothing tone. Mike stepped forward and held out his hand to her. Her icy cold fingers closed around his warm ones.   
"The capsule works under a kind of suction cup that keeps the area sterile," Tennyson explained, and Erin felt a slight pressure as said suction cup tightened with a soft smacking sound. Then she groaned as Vedernikov and Musa pressed her down onto the stretcher. She heard Tennyson taking a breath, but Mike quickly said:   
"Close your eyes and listen to me. Concentrate on what I'm saying." He told her a story about an alligator on the beach, but that's all she could get out of it while she felt like someone was trying to pull her hipbone through two different keyholes. She gritted her teeth and when Vedernikov and Musa finally let go of her, her fingers around Mike's hand had cramped completely. Tennyson said:   
"The bone is being sealed now. Then I'II put two healing pads on you and you can get up."   
"Okay," she said pressed to show that she understood and was conscious. However, it took another felt eternity for Tennyson to say:   
"Good, you can sit up slowly."   
With Mike and Tennyson's help she slowly straightened up and when the dizziness subsided, she slipped off the capsule. Mike had regained color in his face and was smiling happily at her.   
"You see, it wasn't so bad."   
Before Erin even realized what she was doing, she had slapped him in the face._

_~_

Emily had disappeared from Mike's room. Remaining were only the smeared blood and a few drops of oily liquid. Erin had washed her face with cold water and was now staring at her reflection. Her braid had half loosened and golden blond strands framed the round face. Light blue eyes glowed coldly over a snub nose and her full lips were tensely curled. _My nieces and nephews are probably all dead by now and I still have a baby face_, it went dry through her mind. She tied her braid anew and then unbuttoned the crookedly buttoned blouse. For her delicate figure and baby face she had plenty of bust.   
_"Don't complain,"_ sounded the voice of her best friend Lillian, _"Men are into that. Wrap yourself up nicely so it doesn't matter that you still look 16."_ Erin sighed. For a moment she paused to button up, but with the service blouse it didn't look sexy but rather silly.   
_"You're beautiful just the way you are. Only your feet could be a little bigger."_ The memory of Michael winked at her and she had to smile.   
_If I still look so much younger at forty, I can't really complain._ She grinned at herself a little crookedly- and paused.


	9. 01.03. – Day 10 - A lifelong immortality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "A lifelong immortality" - "Ein Leben lang unsterblich" by Eisbrecher

The world swayed a little and the underground was just uncomfortable enough to not pass as a bed. In an unsteady movement, Mike raised his arm- and hit a wall. He blinked and stared at the capsule lid for a moment before he realized what he was facing. He pushed the lid open and cool air brushed against his naked skin. Why was he naked?  
Slowly he straightened up and swung his legs over the edge. Then his eyes fell on Erin, who was leaning against the wall and looking at him thoughtfully.  
"I think I might have a blackout."  
"And what do you remember?" She turned away and took a bundle of clothes from a panel, which she brought over to him, keeping eye contact. Then she turned her back to him.  
"Emily was suddenly standing in the room," he said slowly. The attempt to dig into his memories was unsuccessful. He could've just as easily hit at fog.  
"Yes. Emily had a malfunction," Erin began.  
Mike started to get dressed. He couldn't help but notice the uneasy undertone in her voice.  
"She saw a villain in you and wanted to punish you." She paused.  
"And...?" He asked, slipping into his shirt.  
"She crushed your genitals."  
He grimaced. "Well... a couple of steel balls wouldn't have mattered now." Just the mere idea of the pain sent a heavy shiver down his spine. She turned to him again. While he buttoned up his shirt, he saw out of the corner of his eye how her expression went from tortured to thoughtful.  
"Mike... how old are you?"  
Astonished, he realized that he had no answer and began to count how much time had passed since his last birthday on Earth.  
"...thirty-three, I guess. Why?" He got down on his knees to put on his boots. When he straightened up, Erin had opened a panel cover and nodded there. Tucking his shirt into his pants, he went up to her and looked surprised in a mirror.  
"Do you look like thirty-three?"  
He inspected himself briefly. His almost black hair was in desperate need of a cut, his green eyes had already looked more awake, and a shave would be appropriate. "...no." Behind his broad shoulders Erin appeared and held his security pass under his nose.  
"Does that picture look to you like it is five years old?"  
"...no." In the picture he was freshly shaved and his hair still had an accurate military cut, but otherwise it could have been yesterday. "What are you getting at?"  
Uncertain, Erin looked up to him. "Do I look like thirty-one?"  
He snorted amused. "You'll go for _twenty_-one." Instead of being flattered, she grimaced.  
"While you were sleeping, I did a fitness test."  
He took a step back to grab his belt and jacket and then looked at her questioningly. "And?" He followed her into the next room, where there was a much more massive capsule and a larger terminal. She inserted her ID card and her medical file appeared. She used a shortcut to open the test results and he tried to find his way through the flood of data, but she scrolled to the very end and then pointed to the summary.

_Calculated age: 31_

_Biological age: 19_

_Real age: 26_

"This doesn't make any sense," Mike noted with irritation.  
"No," Erin agreed. He could tell she must have been thinking about it for some time. "If the real age was thirty-one and the calculated age was anything beyond one hundred, okay, but this...?" She shook her head.  
"And why do you think that is?" he dared to ask. Just because they had left Earth, they didn't stop ageing in the end. A little helplessly, she shrugged.  
"I don't know. I've heard that there's some sort of unknown radiation at Atreus, but..." She hesitated.  
"But...?"  
She flipped to the first page in her file, where there was very general information. "Here." _Genome: A-Level_ stood there as inconspicuously as the blood group.  
"What is a genome?" He wanted to know.  
"The totality of all hereditary information of an individual. And yes, I looked it up."  
"And what does 'A' level mean?"  
"I don't know. I don't like the idea of us being divided into genetic classes."  
"Are we?"  
"Yeah. I checked Maisie's file. She's a B-level."  
Mike frowned. "If it's right on the front page, it must be important in some way."  
"Yeah. That's what I think. Would you like to check?" Erin pulled her ID from the terminal and he shoved his in instead. Immediately a detailed report of his just finished healing sleep popped up, which he closed immediately. All he registered was that he had slept for forty-nine hours. The first page of his file was a different one, too, but he just didn't want to know to how many percent he was a machine. This circumstance caused him discomfort as soon as he started thinking about it. He turned the pages.  
"A-level."  
Erin chewed on her lower lip. "Do you think John will answer our questions?" She wanted to know.  
"There's only one way to find out," he replied with a shrug and took back his ID.

When they left the infirmary, he asked: "What else did you do?"  
"Hmm? Oh... I went to the colony yesterday with John. He adjusted the medical capsules there a little bit, took some samples and talked to the colonists. His tentative prognosis is that the skin could almost return to normal in a few months. Based, of course, on the condition of the individual, the age, etcetera."  
"Because the continuous stress from the B6n is no longer present?"  
"Also, yes." She nodded slowly, then sighed deeply. "Otherwise, I was terribly bored. Worse than when I was on shift."  
"Did you miss me?" He grinned at her and a little bit condescendingly she returned the glance.  
"If you keep your mouth shut, you're quite tolerable." Though he knew she wasn't serious - he could see the sparkle in her eyes - it gave him a little twinge.  
"Pah!" he made offended and a few steps further he could see a fine smile on her face.  
But it faded when they entered the lab and were greeted by John.  
"John... I have a question about my medical file," Erin started off a little awkwardly.  
"Yes?"  
"What exactly does it mean that I have an A-level genome?"  
The smile that briefly flitted across John's face irritated Mike in a way he could not put into words. It seemed almost calculating and satisfied in a strange way, but was completely out of place with an android.  
"Since the human genome has been completely decoded, it has been repeatedly divided into different classes according to various aspects," John then said. "In this case, the division into different levels refers to the aging process and how it adapts."  
"Does that mean a B-level gets wrinkles earlier?" Mike tried to joke.  
"No, of course not." John wrinkled his nose. "The first research robots found a multicellular organism here at Atreus, which in various ways ensured its non-aging. Of course, not all the necessary information was available on Earth, but under the given circumstances, theoretical interfaces were calculated and the human genome was divided into three classes."  
"I know what interfaces are, but... okay, no, I don't want to know." Mike shook his head. Without considering his objection, John continued:  
"Only members of the first class, the A-level, were selected for the manned missions. But as it turned out at the mission location, there is a fourth level."  
"So what do these levels mean?" Erin asked.  
"About sixty percent of humans are carriers of the D-level genome. They don't have enough interfaces to modify their genome. Another thirty percent have a C-level genome. They have sufficient interfaces for a modification to stop the ageing of the organism, but at the same time put the cells under enormous stress, so that after an unpredictable number of years the cells simply die."  
"So just snap and dead? Ouch." Mike made a face.  
"Pretty dubious pleasure," Erin also remarked with a slightly distorted expression. John nodded.  
"The remaining ten percent is split into B and A levels. Depending on who you ask, the A level will be between zero point one and two percent."  
Mike and Erin exchanged a quick glance. Even two percent was not a hell of a lot.  
"And... that means...?" Erin reluctantly asked.  
"The B-level genome can be modified quite easily. The ageing process is slowed down considerably, increasing life expectancy to about one hundred and eighty years."  
"Wow..." they both did, almost simultaneously.  
"The rare A-level is the nearly to perfection improved version of the C-level," John continued, sounding very proud. Mike, on the other hand, got a stomachache when he heard the word _perfection_. "The A-level organism stops ageing."  
Mike waited for John to continue talking, but it seemed as if the explanation was completed. Next to Mike, Erin uncomfortably stepped from one foot to the other before quietly asking:  
"Does it... does it mean we're immortal?"  
"No. You can die of pneumonia just like everybody else."  
In a very strange way this calmed Mike down deeply, although he wanted to postpone the encounter with death for a while after his experiences in the war.  
"To put it a little more poetically, you have been granted eternal youth."  
Mike snorted half amused, half disbelieving. "That sounds like a fairy tale."  
Erin couldn't even find words for it, but just looked at John with big eyes.  
"No, Michael, this is reality. Take it as exchange for giving up your life on Earth."  
The thought that he might have made a deal had never crossed his mind before, but as golden as eternal youth might sound, Mike felt betrayed.  
"Why weren't we told about this?" Erin's voice sounded almost pitiful.  
"You signed a contract," John replied simply. Mike took a breath, but didn't say anything for a while. Only on the second try did he mumble:  
"I think I... I have to... " He didn't even know how to finish the sentence, so he just turned around and left the lab.

~

Mike couldn't say why he felt cheated or about what. His mother's parents had died when he was still a toddler, and his father's parents were jolly as hell when he left, despite their eighty years. His grandfather had even gained in charisma and character with age, and the grey temples had also done his father good.  
If he had remained a soldier, his life might have been very short. If he had left the army, he would have had to start a family for the good of the company.  
Instead, he would be sitting on a godforsaken planet, watching the colonists live and die while his colleagues aged at a snail's pace. He could take all the time he wanted to learn or do things, he could ...  
He didn't ask for it.  
He hadn't thought about what would happen when they grew old here at Atreus, but staying young forever was certainly not one of the possibilities.

For two hours he had been sitting in front of the leftovers of the dinner which had already gotten cold long ago, thinking. His attempt to distract himself in the gym had failed brilliantly, and he had also seen Erin last in her conversation with John. But after all this brooding, he had a headache and was looking for another topic. So he got up and went looking for Erin, who he ultimately found in the library.  
She was lying on a couch, one leg was hanging over the backrest, the other over the armrest. She looked spellbound at her reader and he thought about whether he should make fun of scaring her, but then she started mumbling:  
"What an asshole. Does this guy just kill her! All that nasty sweet talk just for one lousy bed scene... asshole."  
"Exciting?"  
"Huh?" Irritated, she looked up. "Oh...hey..." She looked at the reader, put it aside and then seated herself properly before answering. "Yes, it's a thrilling story, but a lousy romance."  
"It's just not like real life." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes before putting on her boots. However, she remained seated and for a long moment just looked at Mike who waited calmly.  
"Reality is awfully humble. But unfortunately the only one we have." She sighed and rubbed her face.  
"Sad but true," he admitted. She wasn't exactly a pile of misery, but she was depressed.   
"I always wondered what people would do with us when we got old. Or how they would imagine us finding a partner among our colleagues and starting a family," she said slowly.  
"I honestly didn't think much about it," he had to admit.  
"No? I imagined that the colony would then function as a retirement home. But somehow... it just seems like an outdated idea." She made a face.  
"For us, perhaps. But the others still grow old one day," he objected. The idea of eternal youth was still so abstruse that talking about it alone seemed like a movie script to him. She nodded and shrugged at the same time.  
"At the moment there are two other A-level guys here besides you and me. There'll be another one with the ship."  
"Did John tell you anything else?" Mike was a little curious, but she shook her head, then she sighed deeply. "Just spit out what's on your mind." He smiled at her with a cheerful smile.  
"Being young forever... that means losing everyone you love. They all grow old and die. And no parent should have to bury a child."  
The smile froze on his face. "We've already lost everyone we cared about on Earth."  
"Yes, but I was aware that I would probably not be able to fulfill my wish for a family of my own if I went to Atreus. Eventually, the biological clock finally ticked over and done. But now...? No one knows what the long-term planning for Atreus will look like; no one can tell me if I won't eventually find that one partner with whom I want children. And then what?"  
Mike must have lost his mimic, because Erin doubtfully narrowed her brows.  
"Are you sure you've never thought about this before?"  
He cleared his throat. "Starting a family has always been on the side of company duties for me. And I tried to ignore them. Besides, the Atreus mission doesn't strike me as being very family-friendly."  
She got up and took her things; her shoulders straightened.  
"Change of subject. You want a drink?" He asked.  
"Stop me from drowning my mopey mood and I'll keep you company," she sighed somewhat theatrically and pulled up the corner of her mouth.  
"Sure." He wrung a grin off himself just as semi-successfully.

~

"By the way, you still owe me an explanation," Erin began when they entered the saloon.  
"Oh, yeah?" This time Mike went over to the bartender's cabinet and pressed an inconspicuous button. The doors swung open and an android upper body on wheels slid out. He recognized Mike, registered Erin as another customer, and went to work buzzing.  
"You still haven't told me how you know about this bar." Erin and Mike sat down on the bar stools and she looked at him urgently.  
He sighed. "Do I have to?"  
"One secret per day. Your words."  
He sighed again, but first the bartender put two Guinness in front of them. Erin raised an eyebrow.  
"It's been a while since my beer phase..."  
Mike lifted his bottle anyway. "To eternal youth?" he asked with a wry smile.  
"Seriously? All right. To eternal youth." They clinked and he took a big sip. "Urgh..." She pulled a face.  
"Hey, that's my favorite beer."  
"It might be, but...", she pulled the corners of her mouth down even further, "...mine definitely not. You can have it." Waving to the bartender, she shoved the bottle towards him.  
"Whatever you say." He wouldn't say _no_ to a Guinness.  
"I'll have a rum coke. More cola than rum. No ice." Without delay she turned to Mike again. "So...?"  
He grimaced and sighed. Some stories simply deserved to be swept under the carpet. "You remember Penelope Severin?"  
"The princess?" Erin asked back and reached for her rum coke.  
"Yes, the princess." Penelope had been born a princess of the Swedish royal family and had made her first mention of herself when she married her professor. And a second time when she discovered a previously unknown metal in an asteroid sample. "I had the dubious luck of working with her on my first shift. She had a crush on me, but I avoided her quite successfully. Or she was satisfied with Matt, I don't know." At the thought of his android twin Mike grimaced again. Erin had propped a cheek in her hand and listened thoughtfully.  
"In the second shift I had a fight with Florianne at some point, of course in the middle of the dining room. Penelope- Dr. Severin- intervened. After Florianne had left in a rage, she said something like she knew a place where I could get rid of my bad mood."  
"Pretty clumsy," Erin commented. He wrung himself a smile, shrugged and took a sip of beer before continuing.  
"In fact, I told her so directly. She was piqued and said she meant something completely different. It seemed a bit rude to refuse, so we ended up sitting here." With the bottle in his hand he made a broad gesture. "Well... her second invitation was even clumsier. And no, I have no idea why I accepted." Shaking his head internally over himself he took another sip.  
Erin smiled. "Your frustration must have turned to despair, because the good Dr. Severin isn't exactly the prettiest."  
"Tell me about it," he mumbled half into the bottle.  
"I can tell by your face that it wasn't just one night," Erin smirked and stirred in her glass.  
He snorted. "She tried hard to please me. And I have tried hard not to show her my disinterest. Darkness helps a lot."  
Erin started giggling.  
"By now we know about the Brain Booster, but at the time I found her behaviour just pretty odd."  
Erin giggled even more. "From playboy to toyboy."  
"Hey! I'm not..." He couldn't even get the word out. Erin giggled so much that she couldn't hold her glass straight and placed it precariously on the counter.  
"Oh, this is so great!"  
Mike gave her an offended push against her shoulder, but then had to grab her wrist in a hurry, because otherwise she would have fallen off the bar stool.  
"Huh!" Shocked, she looked at him and burst out laughing again.  
"Could you please stop now? It's embarrassing," he growled.  
At least Erin tried. When she calmed down a little bit, she said: "And then you broke up with her at some point?"  
"After she tried to jump on me one night in her office corner, yes."  
Erin nodded emphatically seriously while the corners of her mouth twitched violently. He frowned at her, then changed the subject.  
"And Michael? Was it a relationship thing?"  
"I thought you didn't want to know details."  
"Well, not detailed details. So?"  
"Depends on who you ask," she said, emptying her half-full glass.  
"Well, obviously you."  
"No," she replied curtly.  
"I suppose Michael would say _yes_ now?" Mike guessed innocently. The bartender discreetly slipped them some new drinks.  
"Yes." She sighed and looked out of the corner of her eye at Mike. She seemed to have a guilty conscience.  
"So you broke his heart," Mike kept poking around. He didn't want to be the only one here to expose his pathetic personal life.  
"I guess so." She brushed a strand from her forehead. "Michael is a really sweet guy. Loving, caring, worried..." A tender smile flitted across her face. "He read every wish from my eyes. But... he's... he's like a loyal little puppy."  
"A faithful puppy with a foot fetish."  
She rolled her eyes. "I was doing agility exercises with Olga and twisted my ankle. He came by in the evening and offered to massage my feet because I didn't want to go to the infirmary."  
"And then he massaged quite a few other places." Mike winked at her.  
"No, he did not. But since you don't want to hear the details and it's none of your business either, I'll leave it at that," she gave back a little snotty.  
"All right, all right..."  
Stirring with the straw in the glass, she finally said quietly: "But I guess you're right. Probably his heart broke when I stopped this whatever-it-was at the end of the shift."  
"You didn't have to do it," Mike considered and paused as she looked at him thoughtfully.  
"Without real feelings, it's not nice in the long run. I like him, I care about him, but that's all it takes. I'm not the type for a loyal dog, and... who knows if we would have even had a shift together again?"  
Mike shrugged. "Since they seem to be doing the male/female combination thing everywhere, there are only five options."  
"Sure, but you had Florianne as a partner twice. For me it changed."

They were silent for a moment, then Erin said:  
"You asked in the beginning why we were chosen, in case of emergency."  
"Yes. Your answer was something about extreme crisis situations," he replied slowly. "What makes you come up with that now?"  
"Because you mentioned this combination thing. How did they get the idea to put us together?"  
He didn't like the doubt in her voice at all. "Because we worked pretty well together as a team."  
"It was one time, in a simulation. Natasha got a better rating than me." Self-critically, Erin tilted her head a little.  
"No, she didn't," he objected. He was uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going. "You're seven points ahead of her in the overall standings."  
Stunned, Erin looked at him. "How can you be so sure?"  
"After realising that Arne and I had the same points, I took a closer look at the scores." He shrugged and took a long sip of beer. Since Erin still looked at him strangely when he put the bottle down, he added dryly: "And the way I met you and Arne, you would have exploded about three times in two days with him."  
"You speak a true word," she muttered, implying a nod. "Well, I guess that answers the initial question."  
Mike hummed approvingly and concentrated on his beer.  
They remained silent for a while, then Erin yawned unladylike into her glass and muttered:  
"I think my pillow's calling."  
Mike laughed softly. "Then don't make it wait. They are pretty unforgiving."  
"I know, I know." She didn't sound very enthusiastic. Yet she slipped off the barstool and nodded at him. "Good night."  
He nodded back. "Good night."


	10. 02.03. – Day 11 – Life doesn’t wait for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Life doesn’t wait for you" - "Das Leben wartet nicht" by Eisbrecher

While Mike had been in healing sleep, Erin had returned to her own bed. Now she stood at his room door and wanted to call him for breakfast, but she paused. She had slept terribly bad, she was tired and didn't really feel like having much company. Except maybe a big cup of cappuccino. Mike, however, took her mind off it.   
"Good morning. Though looking at you now, it doesn't seem like a good morning."   
She mumbled something that might pass for "morning" and went to the dining room.   
As she waited with her head hanging down for her breakfast, Mike gently asked:   
"Would you like to tell me why you're in such a bad mood?"   
"I'm not in a bad mood." She looked at him with a sigh. "I was just wondering if I took a wrong turn at some point."   
A smile flitted across his face. "I know the feeling. But unfortunately, we can't turn back time to do it differently."   
"I know, I know." She rubbed her eyes. "But I feel like I'm out of place here. Well..." She pulled a wry face. "I think it was already wrong to go to the RedCaps."   
"You had a damn good reason," he noticed and reached for his food tray.   
"Yes..." She said stretched. Her fingers closed around her own tray, but like it was too heavy, she didn't lift it. She heard a chair scrape across the floor behind her and stared at the milk froth of her cappuccino. "I have seen and experienced some very unpleasant things... and I have never been able to cope with it myself. I always need someone to wipe away my tears. I'm just not strong enough for this. And Maisie..." A tear fell sizzling on the milk froth. "I'm sorry..." She wiped her sleeve across her cheek.   
"There's no need to be sorry." Suddenly Mike stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her.   
"I don't want to cry all over you again," she murmured defensively and stiffened.   
"Sometimes you need it," he gently contradicted her. "Not everyone can handle their demons just like that, you know. You grew up with strong emotional bonds, so you look for closeness when you're feeling bad. I missed it, but that doesn't mean I don't wish for someone to... wipe away my tears when I need it."   
Erin felt the vibration of his voice on her back. When he stopped speaking, she said softly:   
"You have a pretty tough shell."   
"And a rather squishy core," he returned. He let her go and she turned to him. "Better?" he asked.   
She nodded. "Better." Then she stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." Embarrassed, he took a step back.   
As they sat at the table and Erin finally sipped her coffee, Mike said:   
"You lack confidence, not strength. Otherwise you wouldn't be here." Doubtfully she looked at him over her cup. "At least you didn't scream when they tried to suck out our hipbone." With a meaningful twitch of the eyebrow he now took a sip of coffee on his part.   
"Funny that you-"   
"Funny? There's nothing funny about this memory at all," he interrupted her immediately. His face darkened. "That's on the list of unpleasant experiences right after the army check-up."   
She couldn't help smiling. "The classic "drop your pants and bend over, please" thing?"   
"Don't. Ask." Venomously he looked at her and she held her hand over her mouth to hide her amusement.

Luckily Mike's mood only lasted for a short time, because he sighed and rubbed his eyes. "And I was sleeping so well..."   
"Did you have a nice dream?"   
He gave a consenting growl. "We were sitting on a sunny terrace, drinking tea," he said slowly, looking into the void. "The birds were chirping, a cool breeze came from the lake... The greenhouses sparkled in the sun and you could hear the calls from the spaceport now and then... I said something like: _"Remember the first time we walked across Atreus?"_"   
"And after?"   
"I don't know. I don't remember anything else." Mike shrugged. "But it was wonderfully peaceful and relaxed."   
"Hmm. Something's missing in the picture."   
"Oh, yeah?"   
"Yes. For example, your wife, who is jealous because she can never share such thoughts with you. Or teenage kids who exchange glances and think Dad's having another one of those moments."   
He snorted. "We'll skip the wife part, please. And as for the kids..." He tilted his head slightly and looked at Erin for a moment before winking at her. "If you really want some, we can talk about it."   
She rolled her eyes. "Idiot..."   
"What? You might even feel honored that I..." He interrupted himself and lowered his eyes, blushing. But before she could get on with it, the door to the dining room opened. Irritated, she turned around and saw John who looked mildly surprised. Apparently he hadn't been looking for them.   
"Good morning."   
"Good morning," Erin and Mike echoed. He came up to them at the table and nodded at them.   
"Since your day's schedule has a lot of idle time right now, can I ask you a few things?"   
"Sure," Erin said with a shrug while Mike just nodded.   
"Michael, would you mind taking a look at Ava's programming?"   
"I can't promise you results."   
"I know. But we have no alternatives."   
Mike nodded thoughtfully and rubbed his neck. Erin looked at him questioningly, but he just sighed.   
"I'm gonna go... See you later." He gave Erin a narrow nod and she looked at John. He gave her the hint of a smile and walked past her to the back wall of the dining room. Curiously, she followed him to the tiny equipment room.   
"What are you doing there?" she wanted to know and took a look at the terminal, over which a list of food items was flickering.   
"I would like to adjust the composition of the food in the colony to their needs. Increase nutrient density, add essential minerals, amino acids, vitamins to popular foods..."   
"So they have everything their bodies need to heal?"   
John nodded. "Right. Of course, I cannot influence the extent to which they feed themselves at all through the terminals or prefer the food from the greenhouses. And the terminals there are also just a simplified version of these, but it can't hurt."   
Erin frowned. "What's so special about the food order terminals here?"   
"They register the user via the fingerprints. And the data in the medical file is used to calculate an optimal diet."   
"That means I can stuff as many chips and fries in me as I want, but I still get all I need?" Stunned, she saw John nod. "Cool thing."   
John smiled half-heartedly. "If no one has to provide for his own meal, it's understandable if he chooses what he feels like - after all, it's just a push of a button. But if you had fresh fruit available every day, you'd probably rather grab it than order a juice, wouldn't you?"   
Erin nodded slowly. She would have loved to bite into a sweet apple now. As John continued to tap around the terminal, he said:   
"The top priority of the colony is to make the colony itself and also the research station independent of Earth supplies."   
"But how is that possible? We have no animals here, no production of building materials or anything." She had often wondered how this would work in case the supplies from Earth did not arrive for some reason. John looked up.   
"The whole base here is based on recycling and reprocessing. The first colony ship was completely dismantled to provide the raw materials needed to build the colony and station. Some of the supply transporters are also going into our system."   
"But aren't we stealing the earth's resources with this?"   
"Once Atreus becomes autonomous, we can return the favor."   
Living in the middle of nowhere in such a dependency suddenly seemed a little unhealthy to Erin.   
"In about ten years, a first transport with some small animals and new seedlings will arrive here. And in the meantime, we'll prepare Atreus for it, research it and find a way to cooperate." John's enthusiasm looked a little like a commercial, but Erin nodded obediently.   
"Is there something you want to ask me?"   
"Not at the moment, no." John briefly raised his gaze. "It was more of a general observation. There's not much left to do now but wait."

~

Deeply immersed in the sight of the screen, the chin resting thoughtfully in his hand, Mike was sitting in the technical center when Erin stepped next to him and gently touched him on the shoulder.   
"Hmm?" he made slowly before turning his head even more slowly.   
"I brought you something to eat."   
"Food?" Irritated, he looked at the plate she was holding out to him.   
"You've already skipped lunch. And you didn't even hear me ask if you'd like to have dinner with me."   
"Oh. Sorry." He pulled a wry face and rubbed his eyes. Then he smiled gratefully and took the plate with two big bagels off her. She didn't even have to look at the cryptic text on the terminal screen.   
"How's it going?" she asked instead.   
"I'm thinking about who to be mad at. My mum for supporting my no-will phase, or myself." He sighed deeply.   
"I didn't even know you could program," she admitted, leaning against the terminal.   
"I'm a Summer. Programming is in our blood." With a wry grin, he bit a bagel. Darkly, she remembered an advertisement from _Summer Software_\- in each spot an apple appeared somewhere to remind people that it was a descendant of an _Apple_ co-founder who had created _Summer Software_.   
"I could really bite my own ass right now. I loved it when I was 10, 12. A funny challenge which brings appreciation from Grandpa on top of everything else. And then came puberty and the realization that there was a lot of money to be made from it. That my family makes a hell of a lot of money with it. And then the interest was gone." With a shrug he took another bite. Full-mouthed, he mumbled: "I don't think I've actually attended a single class at university more than twice."   
"You were busy with other things." Chasing after women, for example.  
He rolled his eyes.   
"Are you ashamed of it?"   
"No." He shook his head. "But I was an idiot not to care at least _a little_ about my future."   
She shrugged. "That's the fate of the rich kids. A lot of them fall on their face."   
"Tell me about it..."   
"Well... I'll let you get back to work."   
"Hmm. Thanks for dinner."   
"No big deal."

~

Mike rubbed his eyes and sighed. The effect of the coffee wore off, but at least he had found a few things where he could start. _Could have started_ if he had fully understood Gus' used commands. It felt as if the knowledge tickled him somewhere in his subconscious, but he was too focused on the problem for his subconscious to have even the slightest chance to make itself noticed. No message from the ship had arrived yet, he still had time, but the longer he stared at the program text, the more he felt that all the time in the world wasn't enough for it. He growled at himself and stood up. Another coffee wouldn't hurt.

The lighting of the station was reduced to a minimum during the night and he felt like an intruder. Of course, without an active shift there was nothing going on during the day as well, but at night it didn't matter at all. Almost on tiptoe, he sneaked through the corridors, although Erin certainly couldn't hear him in the basement. It felt a bit like the old days when he'd get up at night to snatch cookies from the kitchen. Smiling, he chose a double espresso at the order terminal. When he finally sipped it, the problem came back. He just had no idea. Well, he had an idea, but not enough of it. Unfortunately, he couldn't just consult the Internet like he would have done at home.   
_"There's no shame in asking for help when you need it. It depends on how you ask and who you ask."_   
"Thanks, Grandpa, but that's not helping me much right now," Mike muttered to himself.   
_"And if nothing else helps, a raspberry drop will do."_   
Mike couldn't remember when his grandfather had said this to him, but he saw him standing in front of him holding out the small metal tin with raspberry shaped candies.   
"Raspberry drops..." He typed the word into the search field of the order terminal, but before he pressed Enter, the dull feeling of knowing what it would spit out crept up on him.   
_Do I have a choice?_ Chewing his lower lip, he concluded he didn't.   
So he headed off to get a raspberry drop.


	11. 03.03. – Day 12 – Dance with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dance with me" - "Tanz mit mir" by Eisbrecher

A little worried, Erin stared over at Mike's bed that didn't look like he had slept in it. Probably he had been sitting in the tech center all night trying to hack Ava's reprogramming. With a sigh she turned away.   
But in the tech center she only found his jacket hanging over the chair. He was not in the security center either. So she went to John.   
"No, Michael wasn't here. But he said he was coming by to keep me informed." John shook his head.   
"Hmm. Maybe we just walked by each other." Erin shrugged. "I'm gonna go get some breakfast."   
"Bon appetite."   
"Thank you." She briefly considered looking for Mike through the security center, but concluded that it was unnecessary.   
However, as she entered the dining room, she hesitated. Next to the first terminal there was a tray in the dispenser, the leftovers in the small cup were already quite dried up. But what irritated her much more was the fact that the terminal was still active - according to the display, the last executed order was over eight hours ago, but it was flashing in the search field. _Raspberry drops._   
"How did he come up with raspberry drops?" she asked herself. She blinked at the terminal, which of course gave no answer, and then shrugged and chose her cereal. But while the terminal was humming softly, she realized.   
_"These are hardly normal raspberry drops."_ She remembered the little dark red pill Mike had found in the office. He wouldn't have thrown in a brain booster, would he? In her mind, the concern that the stuff was too strong for a cyborg and the thought that he was now spending time with an android were clashing. The android idea won and so she had a leisurely breakfast before she went back to the tech center.   
She had just pulled her ID card through the door scanner when footsteps sounded behind her.   
"Hey, I-" The look over her shoulder made her pause. Mike had glassy red eyes and his hands were shaking. "Are you all right?" she asked cautiously.

~

Mike felt a shiver running through his body. Then he literally jumped forward, snatched Erin and pressed his mouth onto hers.   
"Hmph," she choked and tried to shove him off, terrified. Stumbling, they bounced against the door frame and then into the room. He had one arm wrapped around her, the other hand was in her neck. When they hit a terminal, he pressed her against it and now had one hand free to move across her breasts, stomach and thighs. He buried the other hand in her hair and pulled her head back.   
She protested, but the buzzing in his ears prevented him from understanding the words. Roughly he kissed her neck and throat, felt her hands on his shoulders trying to push him away, felt her goose bumps as he tore at her blouse and let his fingers slide over her ribs towards her breasts. His mouth found hers again and suddenly the tightness of his trousers seemed unbearable.   
He leaned forward, pressed Erin against the terminal with his upper body and let the belt snap open. Fiddling with the trouser button, he nibbled her lip - she bit back and turned her head to the side, increasing the pressure on his shoulders; her posture didn't allow her to use her whole body to fight back. As he licked across his lips - and thereby her neck - he tasted blood. But his pants were open and as he reached for her belt, she managed to push him away from her for a moment so that she could slap him in the face.   
He looked at her in bewilderment for a moment, but then he growled throatily, grabbed her wrists and held them over her head as he bent over and growled again, this time directly into her ear; a shiver shook her whole body. He kissed her, demanding and wild, and released her wrists to hold her face for a moment before sliding his fingers down her skin until they reached her waistband.

~

Mike leaned his forehead against Erin’s; the hot breaths met between them. The tip of his nose touched hers, his lips brushing her mouth, but she turned away before he could kiss her properly. She released her clasp and slowly he opened his eyes while leaning back a little. Her neck had red patches and two glowing scratches were streaked across her cleavage. As they were still merged into each other, he pulled back carefully and saw her face distorting for a heartbeat.   
Although he was responsible for the scene, it took him by surprise. Gently, he put Erin's weight completely down on the terminal and then took a step back. However, he got caught in both his and her lowered pants and would have crash-landed very badly if Erin hadn't grabbed him by the collar and held him. There was a glare in her eyes.   
"Two things," she said quietly and calmly. "One, this will never find its way to other ears. Two, this thing is damn uncomfortable."   
No _"Third: Never do that again!"_? But he didn't voice it, because he didn't want to give her any ideas. Instead, he nodded silently, his head thundering.

~

The zombies groaned hollowly and staggered over the long gangplank up to the cruise ship. Their grunts mingled with the screaming and yelling of the people.   
"The ship is under your control. Choose a destination." The video sequence ended and Erin grinned wolfishly for a moment before sending the ship to Madagascar. _"Kill 'em all"_ was normally not her style - slaughtering people with zombies or other creatures seemed borderline to her - but the rage in her belly needed an outlet. She felt used, dirty and ashamed.   
The controller in her hand vibrated and hummed violently as the zombies overran Antananarivo. With brute force and no real strategy, she got surprisingly far. Through the fighting sounds in her headphones she suddenly heard her name. Irritated, she pushed one side back and turned around. An extremely miserable looking Mike stood in the doorway. After a frosty glance, she pushed the headphones back into place and continued watching her zombies take Madagascar.   
"Erin."   
She didn't bat an eyelid.   
"Erin, can we please talk?"   
"No."   
"Really, I want to talk to you."   
With her lips pressed together she hung the headphones around her neck. "Yeah, sure. And afterwards, we'll cross the English Channel and conquer France." She didn't take her eyes off the screen.   
"Madagascar wiped out," it sounded soft.   
"Why France?" He asked irritated.   
"For all I care, Germany too. They make better bread." She shrugged and sent her zombie ship on to India.   
Thrown off track, Mike remained silent for a moment.   
"Then speak, for God's sake," she finally muttered.   
"I... I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry. I... um...," he stammered, stumbling over his own words.   
"Did you even think before you threw in the booster?" She asked coldly.   
"...no," he confessed quietly. "I only saw the problem with the programming and that I can't just solve it. The booster seemed to be the only way."   
Erin waited until Mumbai was lying in ruins before she replied: "So you haven't given a single thought to the fact that as a cyborg you lack so much body mass that it is impossible to say how you will react to the booster?"   
His silence was answer enough. It took a while before he asked:   
"Were you worried?"   
This time it was Erin who didn't answer.   
"Really, I'm sorry, it was impetuous and-" Mike sounded as miserable as Erin felt behind that wall of anger.   
"Go away."   
"But-"   
"Fuck off! I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you." She threw him a brief, but all the more deadly glance.   
"Okay," he said slowly and began to retreat. Was he even aware of what he had done? Out of the corner of her eye she saw him stop and ask over his shoulder:   
"Did I hurt you?"   
The zombies were working their way to the Middle East.   
"No," she replied soundlessly.   
"Good." he muttered almost inaudibly before leaving the lounge.   
For a while, Erin just sat there before pausing the game, putting the controller aside and burying her face in her hands. Tears welled up under her eyelids. She wanted to be angry, but couldn't.   
If only he'd just _asked_ her...

~

Erin's stomach growled. She growled back. To the rhythm of the aggressive electro beat she danced around the punching bag and gave it a beating. Sweat was pouring into her eyes, her muscles were burning, but she had to do something. Her mood had been so erratic the last hours that she didn't want to think at all. And sports seemed to be the healthiest option.   
The abrupt end of the music, however, threw her off balance and from a high kick she slumped hard on the floor. Moaning, she turned to her side and rubbed her shoulder. Mike stood at the stereo and pushed at the buttons.   
"Hey! What are you doing?" Classical music sounded. Slowly he came to her and held out his hand.   
"May I have this dance?" he asked formally.   
"... the fuck? Are you crazy?" Erin picked herself up and looked at him angrily. "I'm definitely not dancing with you." She wiped a sweaty wet strand from her forehead while Mike still held out his hand to her. It was a waltz from a ballet- The Nutcracker? Swan Lake? - but the knowledge didn't help her.   
"No." She took a step back as he kept coming towards her, but he grabbed her hand and out of the momentum he seamlessly joined the beat as he gently pulled her to him. Surprised, she stumbled before she remembered the long-ago dance lessons for the high school prom. He hummed along for a moment and corrected her arm position before pulling her a little closer.   
"The better I hold you, the better I can lead," he said in a cautionary tone.   
Critically, she raised an eyebrow.   
"And the man always leads."   
"I hate you."   
His face became blank. "I know."   
"Then what makes you think I want to dance with you?" she asked coolly. He lowered his eyes.   
"This may shake your worldview now, but I am very grateful to my parents for sending me to classic dance school for years. I not only enjoy it... it... grounds me."   
Astonished, she looked at him and almost lost her rhythm.   
"Besides, all this time I've wanted to ask you to dance with me. Since we're likely to be stuck here together for a little eternity, we need a meaningful pastime."   
Actually, she wanted to yell at him and hit him, because he deserved that much more than the poor punching bag that just slipped through her field of vision, but she didn't even have the inner strength anymore to break free from his grip or to argue with him. Instead, she just said:   
"You never cease to surprise me."   
"If you had a better opinion of me, you wouldn't be constantly surprised," he replied dryly.   
"Who says I have a bad opinion of you?"   
"Oh, well, you just told me you hate me."   
She could not contradict, so she kept her mouth shut until the music stopped. When he let go, she took a step back and gave him a short glance. "I need a shower," she murmured faintly and walked past him. She heard him take a breath to say something, but he remained silent.


	12. 04.03. - Day 13 - If time heals the wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If time heals the wounds" - "Wenn Zeit die Wunden heilt" by Eisbrecher

Erin was dreaming about things she kept buried deep within herself while awake. Accordingly, she felt like she had been chewed up and spit out when she awoke from her restless sleep in the late morning. Neither a hot shower nor hot chocolate could calm the confusion in her head, and when she put away her breakfast tray, she had a headache.   
To make things worse, she almost collided with Mike as she left the dining room, but he politely stepped aside to let her pass. She nodded at him- he nodded back. The dining room door slid shut behind him and Erin sighed. Mike was right about one thing at least: they needed to talk urgently before the ship with the new residents arrived. But not now. She was too upset for that.   
She took a deep breath and went to John's lab.   
"Good morning, Erin. You're not looking too healthy."   
"Morning. I didn't sleep well last night."   
He nodded deliberately before clearing his throat. "I checked Ava's data storage device. What happened to the colonists was not in Dr. Foster's interest."   
"Meaning?" Erin followed up and crossed her arms in front of her chest.   
"Dr. Foster's experiment was to steadily and slowly vary the B6n concentration between zero and zero point five percent. Ava was to program this rhythm into the air purifiers."   
"But she didn't seem to do that."   
"No. The command was saved, but Dr. Foster actually only activated part of it. It's likely he intended to limit his cryosleep to six months in order to assess the outcome of the fluctuations after that time."   
"I think he didn't want to be bored during it," she grumbled sullenly. "Not only did he basically kill himself with his false capsule activation, but he allowed the experiment to fatally and completely get out of hand."   
"I'm afraid that's true." John bowed his head in agreement.   
"Did Ava's data give us anything else?" She then asked and looked at the android, which had a data cable hanging from the crook of its arm, just as a cannula would have done for humans.   
"Yes. The use of the brain booster is voluntary and is only regulated in such a way that each scientist should only consume one per day."   
"_Should_ doesn't mean it's under tight supervision," Erin interjected.   
"No. But it is at the user's own health evaluation. There are some scientists who oppose the Brain Booster. Dr. Foster, however, according to Ava's data, has in some cases significantly exceeded the recommended maximum of three boosters in forty-eight hours."   
"The amount recommended to him? Are there any calculations?" Erin looked at John with irritation.   
"For those who use the booster regularly, yes. It increases the activity of the brain, but it also means more stress on the cells, which can lead to damage if the stress is permanent. Furthermore, although the brain accounts for only about two percent of the body mass, it excels in the energy balance of the body with an average of twenty percent. During increased activity it naturally consumes more energy, which in turn can mean that other organs are not sufficiently supplied. And to avoid brain or organ damage, personalized calculations have been made."   
"Oh..." Erin was speechless for a moment. "So... the booster has more side effects."   
"Yes and no. It depends on the dose," John replied. Erin looked again at Ava, still wearing the white coat and bright red high heels.   
"So, if Foster was getting high on it, not only was Ava busy with him, but he was probably damaged by it, right?"   
"Probably. But his physical remains are locked in the capsule room."   
"Does it have an affect to the psyche?" She then thoughtfully asked, still looking at Ava.   
"None that we know of," John replied. Erin nodded slowly.   
"Thank you. The conversations with you are always informative."   
"Always happy to help." The android smiled at her with pleasure and she had to smile back involuntarily. "Could you go to the android room and have new clothes printed for Ava there? Her current appearance is unacceptable."   
"Sure." Erin denied herself an even bigger smile.   
"Thank you."   
She nodded to John and had just turned around when he asked:   
"Why isn't Michael here with us? You're partners for now."   
"We had a little disagreement," she said after taking a deep breath. "Nothing to worry about."   
"Of course. It's none of my business."   
She nodded more to herself than to him before she actually left the lab. John's question irritated her, though. He had sounded almost like the kind of spiteful colleague who always rubbed a little more salt in the wound- although such things should be unknown to a scientific android. But it strengthened her suspicion that John was more and knew more than was officially known. Which wouldn't surprise her much in that sense, since it seemed that the security forces on the station were the last in the food chain anyway, and only really useful in cases like this.   
Busy with such brooding, she entered the android room and registered at the side, that an **Out of Order** sign was attached to Emily's chamber. In the directory of the clothing printer, Ava's measurements were stored directly on her lab suit, so it was only a few simple key presses before the printer started buzzing and rattling.  
"Hi, Erin," someone behind her suddenly said. She turned and saw in surprise Felix and James standing in the doorway to the colony.   
"Oh... hello." For a moment she wondered what the two of them were doing here, because according to John, the colonists had lost not only their noses and ears but also other soft parts. But before she could react to them, Felix said:   
"You can't imagine how happy we are to see you."   
And she didn't like his tone of voice.

~

Restlessly Mike roamed the station until he finally ended up with John. The android turned to him with a raised eyebrow.   
"Ah."   
"Hmm?"   
John examined him in a way which was almost disconcerting. "I would urge you to resolve your differences as quickly as possible. The station needs a functioning team."   
Mike grimaced a little. "If I could find Erin, I could work on it." He wouldn't ask further questions at all.   
"I asked her to print new clothes for Ava. However," John paused, "- it's been excessively long."   
Mike shrugged. "Maybe she's just doing a little shopping spree."  
John raised an eyebrow as if to say _"we both know that's not true"_.   
"I'm going to check on it," Mike sighed surrendering and started to move.

The first thing he noticed was the secret door, which was completely closed. They had left Annie's glass marble in the door frame, but there were tiny shards of glass on the floor. It took Mike a moment to find the right panel and when the door opened he was not surprised to find the room empty. Except for Emily's chamber, all others were open; the androids stared apathetically into the void. The display of the clothes printer had already turned off again, and in its output tray lay the new suit for Ava. But no trace of Erin.   
He took the suit and gave Matt a grumpy look, as if he could blame his technical twin for the disagreement. After a sigh, he went back to John.   
"Here, Ava's suit."   
"And Erin?"   
Mike shrugged. "I'm gonna go find her." John nodded and Mike stomped into the security center. He had no idea why Erin would only half grant John's request.   
He activated the personnel terminal and found himself in the security center, but Erin's location remained empty. A little irritated, he activated the Team Comm, whose automatic activation they had turned off after he had unintentionally overheard Erin and Maisie's conversation.   
"Erin, can you hear me?"   
She gave no reply.   
"Erin? Come on, where are you?"   
She remained silent.   
"John?"   
"Yes?"   
"The team comm should work even if Erin leaves the research station and I stay here, right?"   
"Of course. The range extends to the spaceport."   
He bit his lip. Could Erin have gone to the colony and deliberately turned off the comms completely? But why?   
"Erin. If you hear me, say something. Even if it's just cursing."   
But the headset remained silent.

~

Erin screamed as the sharp-edged spade slammed heavily against her right knee. The impact tore her off her feet and she fell onto the damp earth of the greenhouse. She had no time to wonder where the emaciated figure of Felix had taken so much strength from, for he held the spade directly under her chin.   
"If you won't help us, we'll take the second way."   
"I can't..." she gasped and tried to blink away the stars she saw. "I'm a cop..."   
"Shut up! Androids can't allow anything to happen to the people in their care, so John will deal with it. James, send him a message."   
"Got it."   
Erin gasped again, her fingers drilled into the earth. From the headset came Mike's voice, but she only really heard Felix's cursing. The tip of the spade scratched her skin. She squatted in an extremely uncomfortable position, trembling with the strain of not moving and not putting any weight on her knee.   
"You stay here and wait," Felix hissed at her.   
"I-" Before she could say anything, he rammed the spade handle against her left shoulder. It cracked and she fell backwards to the side; her knee also cracked when it hit the ground, and colorful stars exploded before her eyes. Dazed, she lay there for a moment.   
_"Erin. If you hear me, say something. Even if it's just cursing."_   
She moaned softly. Felix mumbled to himself. He and the other embittered ones were of the opinion that John didn't do everything he could with the medicine capsules. They wanted an improvement of their condition and they wanted it now and immediately. Erin was supposed to change the capsule settings, but she couldn't. The only point they actually believed her was that the station had exactly the same capsules available to them, not an improved version as Felix had accused her of in his hate speech.   
She rolled over halfway on her stomach and pretended to wipe dirt off her face with her jacket sleeve. But in doing so she pressed a small button on her Smartwatch with her chin.   
"Do you really think you can take me hostage just like that?" she asked Felix while she tried to sit up, groaning.   
"Can't you see?" he replied dryly.   
"But John has already done all he can."   
"And that's exactly what I don't believe."   
"Why should he let you suffer?"   
"Why would he want to cure us?" Felix asked bitterly back. "We are of no use. As soon as we have the newcomers trained, we can die."   
Erin shook her head. "You're not crippled. You can keep working in the greenhouses just like you did before."   
Felix snorted. "You're talking the same bullshit as Pax." He stomped angrily to the greenhouse exit. "Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid," he growled at the two embittered men standing guard.   
"Sure." muttered one of them devotedly. The two looked at Erin and then ignored her.

~

Mike was frozen in the middle of the movement when he heard Erin's tense voice. When it remained silent after the brief conversation, he asked:   
"Erin? I heard you. Are you okay?"   
The answer was a painful gasp.   
"You're in one of the greenhouses?"   
"_Hmm_," it came muffled a long moment later.   
"Okay, I'm on my way." They both knew he was just saying that to cheer her up, but he felt better after he said it. Erin being held hostage by the colonists- he really didn't see that coming. He shook his head.   
"John, we have a problem."   
"Which one?"   
"Felix has taken Erin hostage. He doesn't think that- never mind. Any ideas?"   
John was silent for a moment. "As much as you'd like to storm into the colony, I strongly advise against it. You're not a one-man army."   
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Anything useful?" Mike liked video games where the right strategy was essential, but in reality he was just a soldier receiving orders.   
"Perhaps it would be best to wait for Felix to make his first move."   
Before Mike could answer, the message terminal lit up.   
"Read the message," John said, just as Mike touched the envelope symbol.   
_"We have Emily's original. If you want her to remain in her original condition, you should make sure our medical capsules are working. We're expecting John at the airlock at 14:00."_ Whoever had written this either wanted to be creative or had simply forgotten Erin's name. Maybe both.   
Mike snorted. "That's a little over two hours. Can we send messages to specific colonists? Like Pax?" He couldn't imagine that the hopefuls were involved. Especially since he had heard from Erin's stories that the two seemed to get along well.   
"Unless you have the personal identification of the colonist, no. The messages are available for anyone to access."   
"Damn. Felix is gonna have somebody at the airlock. Same at the android room. But without Pax and her people..." He ran both hands through his hair and rubbed his neck.   
"Felix won't hurt Erin unless there's a reason to." John said calmly.   
"She is already hurt!"   
"So you did talk."   
"Yes and no." Once again Mike was not sure what John actually knew.   
"Well, since I can't work wonders, we're gonna have to talk to Felix."   
"The guy's probably not open to reason. You know how he welcomed us."   
John was silent for a moment. Then he said: "Erin hears us, or at least she hears you, right? Turn off the mic."   
Mike hesitated before he pushed the button. "Okay..." he said slowly.   
"Come to me in the lab. We have a few things to talk about."   
"Okay..." Mike repeated and rushed to John.

John just wired something that looked like a wig made of fine threads.   
"All right, what's your plan?"   
John stared at him before calmly asking: "Are you afraid?"   
"_Afraid_?" Mike raised an eyebrow. "Listen, John, Felix is past the point of bitterness. He's filled with hatred for the research station and all those who live there in luxury. All he cares about is whether he can ever look in the mirror normally again. If he can't, he doesn't need to live. So he doesn't give a fuck about his leverage in that sense. And Erin is already hurt, I don't know how badly, but when in doubt, she can't fight back if he puts her own gun to her head."   
"So you're afraid."   
"For God's sake!" But before Mike actually got angry, he took a deep breath and then said as calmly as possible: "I would like to resolve this disagreement. Which I won't be able to if Felix kills her out of frustration."   
"You're getting a little overdramatic," John rebuked him.   
"I-"   
"So you think the peaceful way is doomed to failure. Would you then go off on your own to save the world?"   
Mike opened his mouth. The fine sneering smile on John's face definitely did not belong there.   
"You are not an assassin, you are a soldier. And since you have no army at your disposal, you will be the army."   
"Um... you're the one who reminded me that I'm not a one-man army," Mike replied, still a little stunned.   
"I know. If the situation were reversed, we'd actually have a problem. But this way we can tinker with you a bit," John said busily, pointing to the strange wire frame on the table.   
"You talk to Mike, not Matt." Irritated, Mike looked at the android.   
"I know," he calmly replied. "But you don't know, what percentage of you are already a machine. So...?"   
Mike swallowed hard. "What are you getting at?"   
John smiled. "Go get some candy."   
"What are you up to?" Mike repeated his question.   
"How much do you trust your close-combat skills?" John asked back. Mike grew impatient.   
"Could you please get to the point? They're just mediocre."   
John nodded. "We'll overclock your prostheses. And I think your implant memory has the capacity for a few updates." Implant memory?   
"I should have known..."

~

As much as Erin had tried to breathe with the pain and think about something else, the minutes had dragged on. Her knee had clearly swollen and become stiff. Her shoulder crunched unhealthily and sent waves of pain all down her back. At some point she must have lost consciousness for a moment, because suddenly she found herself lying down. While she struggled to sit up again, one of her guards came over to her. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into an upright position.   
"Thank you," she whispered dazedly.   
"I'm Adrian. I'm Annie's brother." He crouched down in front of her and looked at her intensely. Erin had told Pax about Annie and Pax had promised to tell Annie's older brother who had survived and was one of the embittered.   
"Was she really crazy?"   
Erin tried in vain to wipe the damp earth from her cheek. "In a way, yes. She imagined herself having a romantic relationship with one of the androids." She didn't know how much Pax had passed on to Adrian.   
"Hmm.", Adrian made vague and lowered his eyes. "She's always been hopelessly romantic," he added muffled.   
"I'm sorry," Erin said softly.   
"Don't be. Pax said it was an accident. It was, wasn't it?"   
Erin nodded. Adrian rubbed his face.   
"She even imagined Foster was in love with her."   
"How did she get that idea?" Erin wanted to know in surprise. Adrian tilted his head and thought for a moment before answering.   
"Foster came by one day and said it's possible we may all be infected with a local bacterium. He took swabs -" Adrian tapped what was left of his nose, "- and then kept fetching someone to examine him in the lab." He shrugged. "Pulmonary function tests, lung X-rays... He took Annie three or four times and she thought he was flirting with her. Once she confessed to me that he made her an ambiguous offer." While Adrian shook his head with a sigh, Erin wondered if others had accepted the offer. She could well imagine that Foster, under the influence of the booster, wanted to vent his urges before it became unbearable. But she could hardly tell Adrian about the Brain Booster, so instead she said:   
"With Foster's manner, I can well imagine that he was actually flirting with a pretty girl."   
"Yeah? Well, that makes me feel better."   
She smiled encouragingly at him.   
"Annie would have liked to leave Atreus. She wanted to see the earth and all its wonders."   
_"Erin. Stay where you are. We're on our way."_ Mike's completely emotionless voice made her shudder. Adrian looked at her with narrowed brows, then he plucked the headset out of her ear.   
"I'm sorry, but I don't think Felix would like that." With a jerk he tore the cable off. "And believe me, you do not want to make him angrier."   
"No, I don't think so," she muttered, making a face. But Mike and John were on their way, whatever that meant. Adrian went back to his buddy and Erin waited.   
After about a quarter of an hour, Felix, James and a dozen other embittered ones stormed into the greenhouse.   
"Get up!" Felix growled at Erin and dragged her roughly to her feet as she screamed. Whimpering, she had to hold on to James, who grabbed her by the upper arm and held her upright. Tears came to her eyes from the pain but she managed not to faint, although there was a lot of noise in her ears and she got tunnel vision. Then shouts reached her and suddenly Mike appeared in the greenhouse door, swinging a long, slim gun like a baton, knocking out Adrian and the other guard.   
They hadn't even collapsed when Felix grabbed Erin and pressed her own pistol, which he had taken from her right at the beginning, against her head. Behind Mike, John and a few of the hopefuls came into view, the latter armed with garden tools and kitchen knives.   
Erin could hardly breathe in pain. That her leg was carrying her at all was a miracle.   
"Felix. Drop your weapon and get down on your knees with your hands up." Mike's face was expressionless, his voice lacked all emotion.   
"I'm the one who's got the upper hand, don't you think?", Felix asked and shook Erin a little so that she whimpered again.   
This time, however, painless blackness followed.

~

Mike couldn't tell which was worse. His current hollow body feeling or seeing Erin sinking into Felix's grip and then hanging there like a rag doll. A little late, he answered Felix.   
"I don't know if you know this, but I was at war... I killed people. You too?"   
Felix swallowed, the hand with the gun twitched. "No. But that doesn't really matter, does it? I want my life back. John promised us healing and what happened? Nothing!"   
"John hasn't promised anything," Pax interfered fiercely. Out of the corner of his eye, Mike saw her break free when someone tried to grab her. "He said our skin could regenerate, but it takes time. How much time did you give him? Not even a week!"   
"None of us here is particularly patient," Mike picked up the thread again. "But if you let go of Erin, John can explain to you again in peace how-"   
"No. No, I want results. Statistics. Calculations. I don't know. But I will not be fobbed off with empty words!" Felix dropped Erin, but kept the gun on her.   
Mike knew talking wouldn't do much good with Felix anymore. So the chances of them talking Felix into the ground were low. The probability that he lost his patience, however, was high. And the possibility of him shooting past Erin was almost non-existent.   
Mike raised the gun a little higher, a deliberate threatening gesture. "Are you sure you have the upper hand?"   
"I have a hostage," Felix returned.   
"And I have might," Mike said in a sepulchral voice. He stomped his foot and the whole greenhouse shook. Pax and other colonists standing close by stumbled. Felix looked surprised and James said a little shrill:   
"You're the android. You can't hurt us humans!"   
"I am not an android, I am a cyborg. And they have no problem shooting people." Mike literally spat out the words and aimed at Felix. Even colder he added: "And I'll tell you this: if you shoot Erin, you get everything. But certainly not a quick death."   
"Give it up, Felix." Pax said surprisingly gently after a moment of silence. And indeed, Felix dropped the gun and sank to his knees with his head hanging down. The hopefuls hurried forward and surrounded the embittered. Pax knelt next to Erin and patted her cheek.   
Mike had to take a few deep breaths before he locked the rifle and slung it over his shoulder. Then he went to Erin and Pax.   
"She fainted. Can you carry her back and put her in a medical capsule?" Pax looked up to him.   
"Sure. She's even lighter than she seems." Carefully he lifted Erin up and Pax adjusted her head at his shoulder.   
"Thank you," she said.   
"For what?"   
"Now we finally have a good reason to take care of Felix. I'll convene a tribunal later. Would you like to join us?"   
"Sounds interesting." They nodded at each other, then he slowly left the colony.   
As he entered the airlock, Erin moaned softly and raised her head.   
"M-Mike?"   
"I got you."   
She lowered her head back against his shoulder and then slowly put a hand on his chest. "What have you done to yourself?" she asked quietly. "You're... you're so cold. And your heart beats terribly slow." He felt her fingers tremble.   
"Cyborg magic."   
"Ah."   
He felt sick and dizzy, suddenly he had to lean against the wall and close his eyes.   
"Mike?" She asked alarmed.   
"Out of mana."   
"Meaning?"   
"Parts of me kind of run on sugar. I stuffed a lot of candy in me, but now I feel sick." He had to swallow hard.   
"Don't you dare puke on me."   
"Would you prefer I drop you?" Slowly he opened his eyes and looked at her. The corner of her mouth twitched uneasily. "I'll take you to the infirmary."   
She just nodded and he went on. She looked so light and fragile in his arms that he feared to hurt her additionally, but she didn't make a sound. Finally he asked thoughtfully:   
"Weren't you afraid of Felix at all? That he might actually pull the trigger?"   
"To be honest, no. He is one of those guys who strikes once and then only threatens, because deep down he can't actually hurt a fly. Plus, he's gotta maintain the image of the strong leader."   
Mike raised an eyebrow. "Your kitchen table psychology worked better than mine. I would've thought he was more ruthless."   
"I could have been just as wrong," she replied. "But I've met a lot of different guys in my years of service." A picture of a handcuff-wielding Erin appeared in front of Mike's inner eye and he had to smile. Emily suddenly made a lot more sense.   
"Did it always end well?"   
"No." After this brief answer Erin remained silent until Mike put her on the medical capsule.   
Unable to take off her boots by herself, Mike crouched down.   
"You can just cut the pants off a little bit." Her protest turned into a sharp gasp as he carefully pulled on her boot.   
"You need healing sleep, not just treatment," he contradicted firmly and took off the second boot.   
"No, I don't."   
"Yes, you do."   
"No."   
"Don't be silly. Your knee looks like a cantaloupe."   
Outraged, Erin sucked in the air, but Mike, who had taken a pair of cloth scissors from a small box under the capsule and now cut open her trouser leg, gave her a stern look. Her knee really didn't look good, but a few hours of intensive healing sleep would fix it. Her attempt to take off her jacket ended with a painful face.   
"My shoulder..."   
"Wait."   
"No, just cut it open. The fabric will end up back in the printer anyway."   
"Whatever you say." Carefully he cut her shoulder out of jacket and blouse and then put the scissors back. As he straightened up, she struggled to get out of what was left of her outerwear. Her breasts bounced in her skin-colored bra. Carefully, he turned away.   
"Oh, come on, give me a hand here. You're not a modest knight in shining armor anyway," she grumbled.   
"Would you like one?" He asked with a wry smile and pulled at her blouse sleeve, which she held out to him.   
"No, not really." After she had given him a sinister look, he carefully helped her to lie down, then he closed the lid.   
"No healing sleep!" she protested again as he turned to the small control panel.   
"Just a few hours," he encouraged her.   
"No! You haven't told me what happened. And I want to know what you mean by cyborg magic."   
He had to smile. "Later, Erin, later." He activated the healing program. "Now be a good little hurt girl and go to sleep."   
"Hey! You can't... you..." Her eyelids fluttered and slowly her head sank to the side.

~

"Well, did you sleep good?"   
Erin blinked at Mike, who opened the capsule and then bent over her, examining her.   
"Are you all right?"   
She felt a bit like Sleeping Beauty, even though Mike had definitely not kissed her awake. "I don't know," she replied belatedly and sat up slowly. She carefully moved her shoulders, which were fine, then her knee - she flinched.   
"I have already reduced your sleep, but how do they say? Time heals all wounds." A mocking smile appeared on his face.   
"If time heals the wounds, then let it hurry up," Erin growled sullenly and swung her legs over the edge of the capsule.   
"Why? Do you have urgent appointments?" He went to a wall panel and took out of the compartment fresh clothes, which he handed to her.   
"You know, sometimes you should just shut up. Eventually, you're gonna dig yourself a hole and fall into it."   
"Yes, I know. But at the Tribunal just now, I was very quiet." He pretended to zip his mouth.   
"What tribunal?" She looked at him questioningly and slipped into her new blouse.   
"Pax has convened a tribunal to decide what to do with Felix," he replied with a sigh. "They sentenced him to death and put James in the greenhouses."   
"Oh."   
"After that, they elected Pax as mayor."   
"Oh. Good." She nodded at him and then looked down at her torn pants. Carefully she let herself slide to the floor and grimaced as her knee protested under the weight. It still hurt more than she liked. She looked at Mike, who was again grinning mockingly.   
"What was that earlier? Don't be ridiculous." But he turned away and Erin put on the fresh pants. When she had put on the boots and stuffed the blouse into the waistband, she finally asked:   
"And now it's time to wait again. Or did I miss a message from the ship?"   
"No, you didn't. We've been up for exactly two weeks tomorrow, so it shouldn't be long now. I'm just surprised the captain hasn't checked in yet," Mike said and looked thoughtfully.   
"That's what I mean." She put on her jacket. "The crew is awakened a few days before arrival. Does this mean their arrival here will be delayed? Or is there a technical problem?"   
Mike shrugged. "We can send a message to the ship, but I almost bet all we get is a response from the autopilot." He rubbed his face and then added with a sigh: "So much has gone wrong here now that my pessimism is having a party."   
"All alone, with emo music and bad drinks?" She had to grin.   
"Probably. Are you hungry?" he asked back.   
"Hmm. Spaghetti bolognese might just work for me now."   
Now he had to grin as well. "Well, why don't you ask the terminal really nicely? If you say _please, please_, maybe it'll make your wish come true."   
She took a limping step and grimaced. "What if you just go ahead and push the button for me?"   
He saluted snappily. "Yes, ma'am." He made an almost perfect U-turn.   
"There you go," she murmured.   
Halfway out the door, he raised his middle finger in greeting.


	13. 05.03. - Day 14 - Storm dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Storm dance" - "Sturmtanz" by Versengold

The atmosphere between Erin and Mike was tense and she had all the time the feeling that he wanted to say something about it, but then he just changed the subject. He had briefly told her what had happened in the colony, but he didn't want to elaborate on his _cyborg magic_. At some point Erin had left and allowed herself the luxury of the whirlpool.   
And now she had been lying awake in bed for hours and could not sleep. This disagreement was weighing on her and now that the anger had died down, she wanted to talk to Mike about it.   
She got up and paced across the hall to his room.   
"Mike?"   
He sighed softly in his sleep. Slowly she went to his bed and touched his shoulder.   
"Mike... hey..."   
Mumbling, he reached for her hand.   
"Hey, I'd like-" she started, but he mumbled sleepily:   
"Come here..." He pulled her to his bed.   
"Hey, hey, hey, I wanted to talk, not-"   
Even though he was half asleep, he was incredibly strong, and when she could free herself from his hands, she sat on him. Apparently, he had a really good dream. Annoyed, she expelled her breath and wanted to get up, but at that moment an alarm bell suddenly went off and yellow light flashed warningly. She slipped to the ground in shock.   
"Ah!"   
"What?" Mike moved up. "What the- Erin? What are you doing here?" He bent down to her and looked at her questioningly. She looked up at him angrily and picked herself up.   
"Is secondary now. What is this alarm?"   
He slipped out of bed and then paused in dismay. His hand twitched to his pants. "Um..." In the blinking light she saw him blushing. For a moment they looked at each other.   
"Alarm," she reminded him.   
"Yeah. I don't know. Dress and check?"   
She nodded and hurried to her own room. Without taking off her sleeping clothes, she simply pulled her trousers and jacket over them; but she slipped into a pair of socks before putting on her boots. At that moment Mike appeared in the door.   
"A yellow alert should not be too serious. Are you ready?"   
"Yup." On the way out she grabbed her belt and then they hurried together to the security center.   
As soon as Mike had his ID pulled through the scanner, the alarm died. Inside, the letter symbol on the message terminal was flashing frantically.   
"Seriously? Because of a message?" HE growled. Erin opened it with a shrug.   
"From the ship. But... on autopilot. The request to enter orbit."   
"Why isn't the crew awake yet?" Mike wanted to know and bent over.   
"I don't know. That's just the request." She shrugged. "Do you think there's any point in sending a message to the autopilot?"   
He shook his head. "Although... maybe we can send a technical request. Some kind of status report."   
"Maisie ran a self-diagnostic on the androids," she said thoughtfully. "Maybe we can do the same for the ship."   
"We'd better ask John. John?"   
"Yes?"   
"Can we request a technical status report from the spaceship?"   
John was silent for a moment before he said: "Yes, it is possible. However, under the circumstances, I would directly link the request to a self-diagnosis order. This would give us a direct response if we had a problem."   
"Okay, can you do that?"   
"Of course."   
"How long will it be before the ship docks in the spaceport and we have an answer?" Erin then asked.   
"By 8:00, the ship should be docked. It's hard to say how long the self-diagnostic process will take. It depends a lot on what the problem is," John replied.   
"Well, if the problem is preventing the crew from being awakened, it must be something serious," Mike interjected.   
"There is something to it," Erin agreed with him.   
"Absolutely right. I will send a request." John dropped out of the conversation. Erin sighed, then touched the red flashing _Confirm request_ button. A new window popped up, demanding that they have their security badges and eyes scanned.   
"Request confirmed," it sounded soft.   
"Well, time for bed," Erin muttered and yawned. Tiredness came after all and she turned to leave.   
"What did you want earlier?" Mike asked before she even reached the door.   
"Not important," she replied dismissively.   
"It can't be that unimportant if you come over in the middle of the night." he insisted.   
"I couldn't sleep and wanted to talk," she said no less dismissive than before.   
"We can talk now."   
But she hesitated. "Somehow I don't feel like it anymore," she murmured and took two more steps towards the door, but he held her by the shoulder.   
"Hey, I'm sorry if my appearance upset you in any way, but I'm just a man and I can't control what I dream about."   
"What you dream or who you dream of is none of my business. And that's not the problem either," she said, shaking her head and looking up at him.   
"What is?"   
"I have other things on my mind now." She took off to run away from the problem. Wasn't new that she did that. Then out in the hall, he started up again:   
"We need to talk."   
"Not here and not now." But after a few steps she stopped and half turned around.   
Mike looked extremely unhappy.   
"Thank you." It was almost a whisper.   
"What for?" he wanted to know just as quietly.   
"For getting me out of there so quickly."   
"Sure..." For a moment it seemed as if he wanted to say more, but then he closed his mouth. She took a deep breath and then, looking at the ground, said:   
"I'm not angry with you. You deserve it, but-" She searched for words and found none that would fit. "...I can't."   
"Being angry is pretty easy. Bruce Banner always is," he said, and the corner of her mouth twitched.   
"I'm not Hulk." Again she looked down. "It's just hard to be angry at friends." Without looking at Mike again, she turned away.

~

Erin ran across the barracks grounds. The sun was burning down on her. She ran until she reached the shooting range. Frightened, she stopped and looked at the figure who was charging a rifle.   
No!   
She floated away and landed in the residential area. There stood Cara, pale and dead, looking anxiously at a man without a face who was reaching through her with a black hand. She crumbled into a blood-red mist.   
No!   
Erin floated away again and suddenly jogged around the fire pond next to a sick looking Erin.   
"You didn't shoot him," said the dream self, it sounded like an accusation.   
"No. Should I have?" Erin asked.   
"You pulled the trigger once before," the dream self replied with a wry sidelong glance.   
"That was different."   
"No, it wasn't," the dream self bitterly objected.   
"I can't just shoot him. We're friends," Erin said softly.   
"Is that so? Or do you just wish it were?" the dream self wanted to know.   
Erin didn't answer and the dream self stopped, reached for her hand and said forcefully:   
"We've pulled the trigger before."   
Erin pulled her hand back. "Where no victim, there no culprit."   
The dream self shook its head grumpy and suddenly held a shimmering pistol in its hand.   
"Take it."   
"No."   
"Take it!"   
No!   
Erin floated away, higher and higher and higher and suddenly opened her eyes.   
Trembling, she fought her way out of the blanket and stumbled into the bathroom where she splashed cold water on her face. Her stomach rumbled, but she took a deep breath and suppressed the nausea. Still trembling, she dressed and then left her room. She desperately needed something to settle her stomach.   
When she stepped out of the elevator in front of the dining room, she noticed that she had unconsciously played with the pistol in the holster. Hesitantly, she took it out. Charged and locked. She had fired it before.   
"Erin?"   
Startled, she squealed when Mike addressed her as if from nowhere. His gaze fell on the pistol, his posture changed immediately.   
"What exactly are you gonna do with that?"   
Like the gun was hot, Erin dropped it and then she almost ran away.

~

Only when Erin ran directly into Pax did she realize that she had run into the colony.   
"Erin! Oh, my goodness, what happened? You look like someone's after you." Pax held her by the shoulders and examined her.   
"No, no, I just... I just need a moment..." Erin shook her head, rubbed her eyes and forced herself to smile. "Do you mind my company?"   
"Not in the slightest." Pax smiled back. "I was going to the greenhouse to get some tomatoes. Would you like to come along?"   
"Sure."   
Pax picked up the large basket she had dropped at Erin's hasty greeting, and then they went into one of the greenhouses together.   
"I was going to make a large portion of tomato sauce. Then all you have to do is have the pasta delivered and you can eat."   
Erin nodded and stared in wonder. The greenhouse was probably huge, but you couldn't see much of it because of the many tomato plants. Bright red and heavy, the tomatoes hung there, some almost as big as Erin's fist.   
"Wow... what are you doing with all those? There's an incredible amount of them."   
"Eat," Pax grinned and started picking. "No, seriously, we prepare lots of things you can store in jars. Pickled vegetables, compote, marmalade, juice or even tomato sauce. Anything that can't be used, we put into a food processor and then the nutrients in the tomato make a sandwich."   
"This... is badass." Erin almost reverently held up a tomato that shone under the plant lamps.  
"Have you never seen a tomato plant before?" Pax sneered and looked over Erin's shoulder.   
"Sure I have. My parents and grandparents had gardens. There's nothing like an apple fresh from the tree." Erin smiled at Pax and picked more tomatoes. "It just seems like another life."   
"Philosophically speaking, it's true," Pax replied. "I was born here. I don't know the Earth. And my parents thought Atreus was the perfect place to start a new society. To leave behind all racial and class differences and start over. I don't know where they came from or what language they originally spoke. My father was a gardener, but that's all I know. Atreus is my home, my destiny."   
This brought a sad smile to Erin's face. "It must be hard when so many others find your birthplace such a strange place."   
"Sometimes. It'll be hard when the new ones come. And it's hard when people like Felix and James have a bad day." Pax shrugged. "It must be difficult for you to go into cryo sleep over and over again. You wake up, and everything around you has changed."   
Erin sighed. "It's been... I don't know... eighty years or so since I left Earth. Everyone I knew is dead now. It's a very strange feeling. But not much changes around here unless you've been in contact with the colony."   
Pax nodded thoughtfully. "A perfectly normal life. Extended indefinitely by cryo sleep." When Pax said it so simply, Erin realized that she actually never needed cryo sleep again. A scary thought.   
They picked the tomatoes in silence for a while, then the basket was full and Pax happily said:   
"Well, off to the kitchen."   
"Do you like cooking?"   
"My mother tried to teach me, but when you have to order so many ingredients from the terminal, it's not the same."   
They took another way back and in between Pax stopped at some flower pots in the middle of the glass aisle to pick herbs. The spicy scent rose into Erin's nose and reminded her for a moment of her home.   
"Do you like cooking?" Pax then returned the question.   
"I must confess, I never really learned. As long as I lived at home, my mother cooked, then I lived in the training dorm and then in the barracks." Erin shrugged. She had picked up a few things, but it was not really enough to call it _cooking_.   
"Soldiers live in barracks, right?" Pax curiously asked.   
"Yes, but I'm a military police officer. But my unit also lived in the barracks."   
"Did you and Mike - how do you say it? - served together?"   
First Erin was stunned, then she had to giggle. "Oh, no. We're not even from the same continent."   
"Oh." Pax seemed surprised.   
Then they reached the dining room and Pax nodded at Erin.   
"Wash the tomatoes, remove the seeds, chop them up. Here are the knives, here's a big board. There's a big pot in the cupboard."   
Erin nodded and went to work with Pax side by side.

After a while of pleasant silence, Pax asked, even more curious than before:   
"Where are you from?" "From Great Britain. A country on the continent of Europe. I grew up in a small, peaceful town, idyllic, quiet and extremely boring." Erin smiled over to Pax. "Actually, in a family neighborhood where every family has its own little house with a garden. Everybody knows everybody, the children can play safely on the street and nobody minds if you suddenly have three others sitting at the table for dinner instead of just your own two."   
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"   
"Four older sisters."   
"I had two younger ones," Pax said softly.   
"I'm sorry about that," Erin said just as softly.   
"Don't be. I'm done with it. And I've learned enough from history books to know that people need disasters to learn from them."   
"That's absolutely right, but that doesn't make it any better," Erin replied softly.   
"I know." Pax turned away and said after a pause: "I have lost my husband. And my son. He was only two."   
"I'm... I'm even more sorry." Erin bit her lip and thought of her nephews and nieces. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.   
"It's not your fault," Pax said softly and with her head bowed. "John said our skin could regenerate, but... what withered away won't come back." When Erin looked at her, Pax pointed at her nose. "I don't think it's ever gonna grow back."   
Erin didn't know what to say.   
"And our fertility isn't coming back either."   
Once again Erin lowered her eyes to her tomato red fingers. Surviving was not always easy, she had already noticed that from Mike's story.   
"I know that many have left their families behind on this earth. Well, partners and children. You too?" Pax asked.   
"No." Erin sighed deeply. "Nothing like that."   
Pax nodded thoughtfully. "Can you finish the rest of the tomatoes? Then I'll make the Pax-special tomato sauce for us."   
"That sounds interesting," Erin smiled.   
"And it tastes even better." Pax took a large onion from a clay jug that stood at the side. "What about Mike? Where did he come from?" she picked up the thread again. "Do you even know?"   
"He comes from Miami, a huge city in the United States of America. It's on the other side of the Atlantic, one of the three big oceans," Erin replied and looked up as Pax put a small pot on the stove and put something in it that was supposed to be oil.   
"Have you ever been there?"   
"No. But I would have loved to visit. I love the sun and warmth, and my home is, alas, very wet and cold." Sighing, Erin reached for the next tomato. "He has two younger brothers and comes from a wealthy business family."   
"Then why did he become a soldier? He could have had a comfortable life if he was rich." For someone who knew the earth only from books, the question was probably justified, but it still seemed a little naive to Erin.   
"I guess he'll have to tell you that himself. But not everybody gets along with the family."   
"Hmm," Pax mused. The onion in the hot oil hissed and slowly a delicious smell unfolded as Pax added tomatoes and finely chopped herbs. Erin was still busy with the tomatoes when Pax fetched two large plates of cooked but naked spaghetti from the terminal and tipped them into the sauce pot without further ado.   
"Mealtime."   
"Yeah..." Erin smiled at Pax. "That smells incredibly delicious."   
"Wait until you taste it." Pax grinned back and distributed the noodles on the plates again.   
Together they sat down at a table and after the first bite Erin was happy for a moment.   
"It's so simple and yet so delicious," she murmured with a full mouth.   
"Nice to hear."   
"My mum always had a meal plan, and everyone got to make a wish. So my dad had to put up with the fish or my mum had to deal with the spinach. But noodles with tomato sauce really always work," Erin munched and saw how Pax's eyes sparkled with the praise.

When they were finished, Erin leaned back, full and satisfied.   
"Thank you, Pax. That was really good."   
"You're welcome." Pax also leaned back. "Now you want to tell me why you were so upset earlier?"   
Erin sighed long and deeply.   
"Did you have a fight with Mike?"   
She looked up in surprise.   
"Well, there's no one else you can argue with."   
"Right... Yeah. Yeah, we were... arguing. He apologized, but I was too angry to accept it and now... it's kind of stuck between us." Erin rubbed her eyebrows.   
"And now it's your turn to take the next step?" Pax cautiously asked.   
Erin nodded.   
"Was this just some bullshit argument over some trivialities or something serious?"   
"Serious."   
Pax nodded thoughtfully. "Then go and talk to him. No reproaches, no questions. Only _I_ think, _I_ feel, _I_ want."   
"You say it so easily."   
"Once you open your mouth, it's easy."   
Erin snorted, but Pax shook her head gently.   
"When it's your move, it's your move. In real life, you can't just pass."   
"That... sounds very wise." "  
It helped me not to go crazy with grief."

~

The fact that Erin was running through the station with her gun in hand disturbed Mike in a way he could not put into words. But since she dropped it, he concluded that she had no real intention of shooting anything or anyone. So he picked up the gun and took it to Erin's room before checking the usual places she had retreated to so far - without success. He didn't even have to talk to her about the team comm, she would ignore him, he knew that.   
That's why he went to the security center, to find her. Her location display remained blank, so she probably went to the colony, maybe to talk to Pax and distract herself.   
For a while Mike sat there trying to think. He didn't really come to a conclusion about the situation, but he didn't want to sit around either, so he went to the colony. In the atrium a woman was watering the flowers.   
"You haven't seen Erin, have you?" he asked. The woman nodded.   
"She's in the dining room with Pax."   
"Thank you." He nodded at her politely and went on. A small floor cleaning robot sniffed past him, then he paused in the dining room doorway.   
Erin and Pax were eating, Erin's mouth was smeared orange-red. She seemed relaxed and quite content, which brought a smile to his face. Actually, he didn't want to interrupt. At that moment, both pushed their plates away from each other and leaned back.   
_It's now or never._ He had just made a step when Pax noticed him and made a hectic _wait!_ gesture half under the table. Whatever she had just said to Erin- he could only understand mumbling- had ruined Erin's good mood. Now was really the wrong time, so Mike backed out. The two of them should take their time to have their girl talk, maybe that did Erin some good.

With a stifled sigh he went back to the station and although he didn't want to listen to John's remarks, his feet carried him into the main lab.   
"What is the deal with Ava now?" he asked, with no actual interest.   
"How do you mean, exactly?" John asked back.   
"Well, is she like you again?"   
John shook his head. "You may have removed Gus' access block, but she's exactly what's expected of her now. A research assistant. No more, no less."   
Mike nodded slowly. "Could this be fixed?"   
"Sure. But that requires a specialized android technician. Gus' method was a little... brute."   
Mike nodded again, then sighed. "If you see Erin, tell-"   
"Erin." John nodded past Mike and he turned around in surprise.   
"Hello, John." Erin nodded at Mike. "How's the ship?"   
"The diagnostic program did not provide a definitive answer," John said regretfully. "Which is why I would like to ask you to look at the situation at hand."   
"Okay." She nodded. Turning to Mike, she added: "Are we leaving right away? We'll be back before dark."   
"Uh... sure..." Mike felt a little caught off guard, but followed Erin out of the lab.

~

After the conversation with Pax, Erin felt a little better. Now she also had a task to concentrate on, and so she went off determinedly. However, she hadn't gotten very far when Mike grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around. He seemed worried.   
"You gave me quite a scare back there."   
She was thinking about the gun. "I'm sorry." Lowering her eyes, she quietly added: "I was... I was still busy with my nightmare."   
"You can talk to me about it, you know?" He said softly.   
"I know." She took a step back. "But not now."   
"Why not?"   
"The ship is more important."   
He raised an eyebrow. "This even goes below the truth of President Clinton's statement _I never had a sexual relationship with Miss Lewinsky_."   
Erin had no idea what exactly Mike meant, but she quite understood what he was getting at.   
"Listen. Everybody on the ship is sleeping and nobody gives a shit whether they wake up today or in three days. And for me personally, our communication problem is far more important." After this announcement from him, she bit her lip. She thought about what Pax had said.   
"I want to talk to you," she said calmly and firmly, so he wouldn't interrupt her. "But on my terms. There are a lot of things I need to discuss with myself first."   
He took a deep breath, but then sighed only with his lips pressed together. "Please don't give it until Christmas."   
"No," she agreed with him quietly. He sighed again, and after a wry sidelong glance, he murmured:   
"Then let's go."

While they had put on the hazmat suits, the professionalism had returned. Wearing her combat rifle over her shoulder, Erin followed Mike into the garage of the research station, where a handful of different vehicles were parked. Mike picked a control chip from the key rack and threw it at Erin.   
"You drive."   
"Me?", she asked in surprise and followed him to the massive off-road jeep parked right by the airlock.   
"Two words: exploding convoy," he said dryly and slid into the passenger seat.   
"Oh. Right." Classic faux pas. She swung behind the wheel and started the jeep, which rumbled low. The airlock slipped open automatically and shortly afterwards she steered the jeep over the sandy road to the spaceport.

Mighty and overwhelmingly large, the spaceship was enthroned there in its mooring; the robots, which built new warehouses a little further on, looked like ants.   
"We should hurry," Mike's tense voice broke the silence. "Looks like a storm is coming."   
"It's not unusual for Atreus," Erin replied a little distracted, searching with her eyes in the tangle of steel for the elevator to get as close as possible.   
"Yes, but I would like to sit comfortably at home then."   
"Mh," she made and turned around a huge container, then she let the jeep roll out and pulled the control chip. When she got out, she put her head back and looked up at the ship. It was in the shape of an arrowhead, around the rear half of which slowly rotated a structure that looked like an ancient hoop skirt.   
"Come on." Mike waved to her and together they entered the elevator, which ended at a dizzying height at a narrow tunnel docked to the ship. The massive door to the airlock was firmly closed and she blinked at it a little uncertainly.   
"Do we have an access code or something?"   
"You're just asking that now?" He asked back, shaking his head. He stepped to the number pad in the tunnel wall, which was the only access to the ship's door. "I'll try my personal identification."   
"Okay..."   
He typed in a seemingly endless amount of numbers, then it beeped softly and after a sudden hiss the door slid infinitely slowly to the side. Behind it lay deep blackness.   
"We should probably look for the light switch first," he suggested and she nodded.   
"Sounds like a good idea."   
They entered the airlock and she twisted her arm halfway to release her flashlight from its holder on the side of the air purifier backpack. Behind the airlock was a large room, unadorned and empty except for a board with a map. As Mike approached the same plan, Erin squinted at her helmet displays. The temperature was only just above freezing point and the air was classified as non-respirable.   
"If the life-support system is working at all, it's on low flame," she said to Mike, who made a face and nodded.   
"Yeah, it's really cold in here. They could have easily put a thicker thermal layer in the suits. But now the question is, why is the system not working?" He nodded to a passage. "That way is the bridge."   
Silently and shivering, they marched through the corridors, past accommodations, the galley and lounges, until they reached the bridge at the head of the ship. Daylight, clouded by storm clouds, fell through the large windows.   
"I'm telling you," Mike started gloomily, "there's a storm coming down."   
"We're not sitting here warm, but at least we're sheltered from the wind and kept dry," Erin shrugged and went forward to the large main console. When she reached the captain's chair, a frightened outcry escaped her.   
"What is it?" Mike asked alarmed and rushed to her.   
"Good God!" it escaped her. A uniformed skeleton was sitting in the chair.   
"The captain," Mike noted after glancing at it.   
"Do you think the rest of the crew looks like this too?" She asked and swallowed.   
"I hope not," he replied uneasily. At the console, only one screen was lit up, providing some general information. In the upper left corner was the information that the autopilot was active, but there was no indication anywhere that anything was wrong with the technology.   
"If the captain is still sitting here, I hope he had the foresight to keep the logbook up to date," she then said.   
"Hopefully," Mike agreed with her, but pointed to the console. "And where is this thing hiding?"   
"I don't know." She could only shrug. She let her gaze wander across the console, but if the many buttons, indicators and levers were labeled at all, it was only with cryptic abbreviations. "Well..." she finally said. "Since the captain is sitting here as a skeleton, the life support system must have cracked pretty early. If we're unlucky, the entire crew was affected."   
"And if we're lucky?" Mike asked skeptically.   
"Then only the captain. Maybe the rest of them had already gone to bed and he still wanted to do something, who knows. But for that we should probably look into the capsule rooms."   
Mike nodded slowly. "We didn't get past them."   
"No," she agreed with him. "They're somewhere in the middle." She was already at the bridge door when she noticed that Mike was still at the console. "What?"   
"Nothing, never mind." He followed her and shook his head. She looked at him questioningly, but he just turned on the flashlight again and walked on.   
Once more they walked silently through the dark corridors of the ship lying there like dead. When they reached the passengers' capsule room, the door slid open with a protesting squeak. Behind it shimmered the light blue light of the active capsules, which were neatly arranged in straight rows. Erin walked along them examining and counting.   
"All eighty capsules are active."   
"Good," Mike said calmly. "Then let's go next door."   
She went back to the front door, which opened and closed again with a squeak. "You'd think the ship would fall apart in a minute," she muttered uneasily. The sound had given her goose bumps.   
"Why should it?" Mike asked. She sighed.   
"I don't know. It's just kind of creepy."   
"Don't you like horror stories?" He held the flashlight to his helmet from below and grinned madly.   
"No."   
He bent over to her and she pushed him aside, shaking her head.   
"Idiot."   
He laughed softly. "I guess I'll have to show you my favorite horror movies sometime."   
"I gratefully decline."   
"Oh, why? That could be- oh." The light of the flashlight fell on a shoe lying in the corridor. The corresponding trouser leg was flattened in the closed door. Erin took a step closer and the door slid open; behind it lay the rest of the skeleton. Slowly she let the beam of her flashlight slide through the room and discovered three more skeletons, one of which lay in an open capsule.   
"Technicians," Mike said, kneeling beside the doorway skeleton.   
"Hmm." She said, looking at the uniforms of the others. "These, too." She sighed.   
"What do you suspect?" He asked and she turned to him.   
"There was a technical problem, maybe even a direct problem with the life-support system. The captain sent the rest of the crew to sleep and only kept a few technicians to solve the problem. They must have realized they couldn't make it, so they tried to get into the capsules. Only they couldn't do that either."   
"Poor bastards."   
"Hmm," she did again and nodded slowly.   
"Well, it looks like we have a real problem. We can't wake anybody up without life support working," he then noted.   
"And if the station's capsule room remains locked down for whatever reason, we don't even have technicians who might be able to do something about it," she added. They exchanged glances.   
"John?" Mike then asked, but there was no answer. "John?" he repeated after half a minute, frowning.   
"Maybe the ship is blocking the signal," Erin said.   
"Maybe. Let's go back to the station, I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do here."   
"Rather less," she agreed with him.   
It was frustrating. Every new problem had to bloat twice or even three times its size before they came up with a solution.

The tunnel to the elevator was vibrating intensely.   
"I told you so," Mike grumbled and gave Erin a scowling look.   
"Yeah, yeah, you were right," she growled back. She felt the vibration deep in her bones and it still hummed as they entered the much quieter elevator. As they left, however, the storm hit her with full force and she staggered backwards against Mike.   
"Take it easy," he said and grabbed her by the arm. She could hardly see twenty meters ahead because of all the sand and dust.   
"This is going to be a very uncomfortable way home," she said unhappily.   
"It will. But at least it's not raining yet," he agreed with her and together they braced themselves against the wind to get to the jeep.   
"Don't meet trouble-" The rest of Erin's answer was drowned in a crashing thunder.   
They sighed almost simultaneously.   
"Marvelous," she muttered sarcastically. Then they reached the jeep and climbed in, Mike having difficulty closing the door against the wind. Between the buildings and containers the wind came from all sides and shook the jeep as if it was looking for a weak spot to break in. The steering wheel trembled and twitched in Erin's hands. Despite the headlights, visibility was unbelievably low and when they had left the area of the spaceport behind them, she got the oppressive feeling of driving straight into a yellow-brown wall of dust. Through the rock formations lining the road, the wind turned into wild gusts which seemed to play with the jeep; the steering wheel bounced merrily. The thundering sounds they had heard until now were joined by a flash of light dimmed by the dust.   
"Great," muttered Mike, barely audible, supporting himself with his hands on the jeep.   
"Would you prefer us to be shot at?", Erin asked with a skeptical sideways glance.   
"Instead or in addition?" He asked back.   
"Choose-" Something hit the back of the jeep with great force, causing it to jerk forward and then break off to the side. The steering wheel blocked itself, a shrill metallic screech was heard and Erin suddenly saw stars as the car crashed into a rock on the side and she made contact with the B-pillar through her helmet. She groaned and muttered dazedly after a moment:   
"We seem to have a magical attraction to bad luck."   
Mike just growled in response and got out. Erin's head was still spinning, so she waited until Mike resignedly asked:   
"Do you want the bad news or the _really_ bad news?"   
"Just tell me." She replied.   
"The jeep is fucked. And it's starting to rain."   
She squinted with a sigh. "Now what?" she asked.   
"Get out. We're walking home." He didn't sound overly enthusiastic and didn't look like it when he reappeared on the passenger side, but he waved at her invitingly.   
"In this weather? Wouldn't it be better to wait here until the storm passes?"   
"You know the storms at Atreus. If we're unlucky, this will last until morning. I don't feel like running in a thunderstorm, but I'd have to pee eventually, you know?" Hinting, he raised an eyebrow.   
She sighed and climbed over the center console.   
"Trust me. It's better to fight through this now than later," he said.   
"Let's do it," she muttered without real enthusiasm. They had only taken a few steps when the fine dribble turned into a heavy downpour. A violent gust almost tore Erin from her feet and Mike grabbed her wrist.   
"You're too light."   
"I'm not!"   
"For this you are. I don't think 10 more kilos would-" It cracked and his voice broke off.   
"Mike?"   
He looked at her questioningly. His lips moved, but she couldn't hear him anymore. Gesticulating, she tried to tell him that the connection was broken, but then he tapped his helmet.   
"Huh?"   
He rolled his eyes and now tapped her helmet - she squinted upwards.   
"Oh shit..." At the edge of the visor she discovered the end of a crack. Mike indicated a length of almost ten centimeters with his fingers, then tapped his wrist. If he suggested to hurry, she wouldn't disagree voluntarily, so she nodded. He held out his hand to her. His lips formed something that could have been a _trust me_. It wasn't the right time to be squeamish, so she grabbed it and in quick sync they ran off.

It was a fight against wind and rain. Although the rain washed the dust out of the air, it didn't improve the visibility at all. Blurred, Erin saw the lights of the colony and the station. After it had flashed a few times, she was sure that the station looked different than usual. After another two hundred meters she knew why: the station suddenly had another level.   
Almost at the same time Mike pulled her hand and left the street; in his hand the flashlight lit up. Erin also fumbled her flashlight from its hold while she wondered if Mike wanted her to break anything. The ground was uneven and full of smaller and larger stones. Suppressed, she cursed to herself and tried not to stumble too much in the twitching flashlight. Her helmet kept crackling and the crack spread across the visor.   
When they had rounded a rock, she raised her eyes: they ran cross-country towards the colony. On the roof of the accommodation building and at the edge of the rows of greenhouses, she spotted the red-orange lights of the construction robots and wondered for a moment whether it wouldn't be safer to call them back.   
Mike swung a little to the side, towards the greenhouses.   
_I thought the airlock at the tree house had been discarded again?_   
Since he seemed to know what he was doing, she just followed him, though admittedly she didn't have much chance to protest either. A small branch got between her feet and made her stumble. _Branch?_ When she had caught herself, she looked to the right. There the still young trees of the deliberately wild looking mixed woodland bent under the rain breezes. A small part of her was amazed to see how big the trees had grown, but when she stumbled again, she concentrated on her feet again.   
The first greenhouse was not far away and relief spread through her. Just at that moment something massive hit her in the side. With a scream she staggered sideways and dragged Mike down with her. She barely noticed that he pushed her away as she lay half on top of him, because every breath was pure pain.   
_Get up. Keep walking. Back to the station._   
She moaned in agony. Mike shook her shoulder. Slowly she raised her hand and blinked strained. She couldn't remember hitting her head on the ground, but her visor was covered by a net of cracks.   
_You must get up!_, she ordered herself. She reached out to let Mike help her up, but he ignored her gesture. Instead, a weight suddenly disappeared from her ribs that she hadn't even been aware of before. The next breath hurt no less than the previous one, but this time she felt it crack in her ribs.   
_Not good._   
Mike put his hand on her chest. She reached blindly for his wrist, but he pushed her hand aside and repeated the gesture. After a moment she understood.   
_"Stay calm."_   
She gave a thumbs up.   
He patted her on the shoulder, then grabbed her under the armpits and lifted her up.


	14. 06.03.- Day 15- My life ticks counterclockwise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "My life ticks counterclockwise" - "Mein Leben tickt gegen den Uhrzeigersinn" taken from "Wenn Zeit die Wunden heilt" by Eisbrecher

_"The station is under attack. Your task is to stay alive for thirty minutes." The voice of the simulation leader sounded hard and metallic right into Mike's head. When he could blink, he stood in the entrance area of the research station, surrounded by his colleagues. Lisa and Florianne stormed off in one direction, Arne and Natascha in the other. Erin stopped beside him and looked at him seriously. _   
_"Any ideas?" _   
_He licked his lips and nodded. "Do you want to come along?" _   
_Now she nodded, and they rushed to the hazmat room together. _   
_"You want to go out there?" she asked in surprise, before the door had even opened. _   
_"Yes. And no, I'm not running away. Whoever is attacking us has the station as a target. Do you think they expect a counterattack in the flank?" he replied, leaving her no time to answer, because he was already struggling into his suit. But before they put their helmets on he paused. _   
_"Do you trust me?" _   
_She looked at him with big eyes and nodded. _   
_"Do you trust me?" he repeated insistently. _   
_"Yes, I trust you," she said firmly, looking back at him. _   
_He just nodded. _   
_When the helmets were in place, he went to the equipment closet and pulled out a rifle that he threw to Erin before taking one for himself and then grabbing an ammunition belt. _   
_"Thirty minutes isn't much." _   
_"You don't know who's attacking us," she pointed out. _   
_"No, but we'll see about that." He gave her a grim smile and then they left the station through the airlock. Immediately they scurried behind the nearby rocks for cover, because what was rushing towards the main entrance with jumping steps looked like giant lizards. _   
_"Are those Raptors?" Erin asked incredulously. _   
_"It's been a while since my dino- phase," Mike said, no less surprised, "but I'd say yes." _   
_"The creators of the simulations really do have a strange sense of humor," she muttered. _   
_"At least they do have a sense of humor," he replied, nudging her and pointing at a rock. "There's plenty of room for us up there." _   
_She looked at him skeptically. "I'm not a sniper," she said defensively. _   
_"Me neither," he returned. "But those," he nodded at the raptors, "don't need snipers either. They're big enough." She was just catching her breath for an answer when her eyes got big. _   
_"Oh..." _   
_He followed her gaze and through a crack in the rock he saw what she meant. There was a rider on a Raptor. _   
_"You're better at shooting than I am," she murmured and scurried ahead, he followed quickly. _   
_"Lift up?" _   
_She nodded and with much more momentum than intended he helped her up the rock before climbing up and letting himself fall on his stomach beside her. Seen from above, the raptors were no longer a wild horde but quite structured, with the riders probably being the commanders. Their humanoid form was in a kind of metal armor that ended with a helmet in the shape of a bowling cone. _   
_"Humor," Erin muttered dryly. "A lot of humor..." _   
_Mike snorted. "Distract them. I'll go for the riders." _   
_"Let me know when you're ready." _   
_Mike turned off the automatic on his rifle and flipped out a small aiming device on the barrel, then sought a comfortable as well as stable position and slowly aimed for the first rider. "Ready to go," he muttered with great concentration. _   
_"We're having Dino Schnitzel tonight," Erin agreed with him and started shooting._

_It wasn't a Guinness, but it was still good beer. With relief - that they'd been through this endless series of simulations - and excitement - because they'd be getting on the spaceship in a few days - in the stomach, Mike sat at the bar of the training center and watched, mildly amused, Vincenzo and two of the technicians playing some stupid drinking game. _   
_"May I?" _   
_Irritated, Mike turned his head the other way. There was Erin standing with a multicolored cocktail in her hand, looking at him questioningly. _   
_"Sure," he replied belatedly. _   
_She sat down beside him and then looked at the others. _   
_"You could join them," he suggested as he saw the depressed look on her face. _   
_"I don't feel much like celebrating," she said slowly and turned back to Mike. _   
_"Why? We've got the best score by far." _   
_"Yeah, but we're also the only ones who survived the thirty minutes," she returned stretched and took a sip of her cocktail. _   
_"That's why." He smiled and sipped his beer. She wrung a smile from herself. _   
_"Thank you." _   
_"For what?" _   
_"For working as a team. If it wasn't for you, I would have been lying in the simulated dust as fast as the others." _   
_"You're welcome." He made a dismissive gesture. _   
_"And because of you, my shooting scores have skyrocketed to undreamed-of heights." she added and took a big sip. _   
_"Because of me?" he asked irritated. _   
_She nodded. After a moment of silence she added explaining: "You have a special aura, you know. Somehow... reassuring. Conveying safety." For a few more heartbeats, she looked into her glass, then raised her eyes to Mike. He stared at her in astonishment. _   
_"Well... thanks for that," she said quietly and got up to join Olga and Natascha at a table. She looked back over her shoulder and gave him a small smile. _   
_The bottle of beer he had just taken a sip from was stuck in mid-air, and suddenly he had a tingling in his stomach, which certainly wasn't from the aeration._

~

Mike had no idea how long he'd been sitting in the hazmat room. The blood on his suit, his clothes and his hands had dried long ago. Erin's blood.   
Somehow he managed to get up and get out of the suit, which he had only just taken off enough to take care of Erin. Absent, he hung the suit, full with blood and mud, back in the closet before he, dirty as he was, slowly walked to the infirmary.   
There on the floor lay Erin's suit, but he had no idea where he had left their helmets. The capsule was covered in blood, and as pale as Erin lay in it, it could have been Snow White's glass coffin. There was a strand of hair stuck to her cheek and he would have loved to brush it to the side, but he could hardly interrupt the healing sleep over such a triviality. So he just put his hand on the lid and looked at her.   
He had no idea how he had managed to stay so calm. The communication was interrupted, she was practically blind due to her destroyed visor and there was a rip in her suit. Maybe because she had been conscious at first and apparently didn't know what had happened. Maybe because he had known that there was no time to think, no time to panic.   
_"Even a concentration of four percent is lethal within ninety seconds."_ After the rip in her suit had been caused, it took well over ninety seconds to get Erin out of the deadly air through the back entrance of the colony. He had tried to keep the gap closed, and without the suit's air purifier backpack, he wouldn't have had to bother.   
_"We seem to have a magical attraction to bad luck."_ Given what's happened in the last two weeks, maybe she wasn't so wrong. He took a deep breath and suppressed a long sigh. The broken branch that had bored itself into her side had left an ugly wound, from which splinters of wood were now being pushed out by the healing process.   
You don't just look fragile, you _are_ fragile.   
She had several broken ribs, one of which had pierced her lung, another had pierced her diaphragm; a hepatic artery had ruptured, causing massive bleeding. The question of what would have happened if it had been the other way around, he pushed away.

"Michael."   
Mike flinched. John had suddenly appeared beside him and was looking at him seriously. Anyone else would have put a hand on his shoulder and said something like _"it's not your fault, go to bed and get some rest"_, but not so John.   
"We need to discuss our next move."   
"Please, not now," Mike mumbled roughly. John seemed hesitant, then said:   
"No, not necessarily now." Surprisingly, he added: "Erin will heal completely, don't worry."   
Mike snorted, but resisted getting into a discussion with John. Instead, he ran both hands through his hair, pausing for a moment before saying:   
"I need a shower."   
John nodded.

~

A few hours of restless sleep later and with a big omelet in his stomach, Mike stood in front of Erin's capsule again. The wound looked much better from the outside, but Erin would still sleep for two more days. After some hesitation, he took her security badge out of the panel in which he had stuffed her belt and went into the next room to the big terminal. He activated it with both ID cards, and while Erin's file loaded her current healing report, he flipped through his own, although he didn't really know why. Maybe he found something interesting.   
Just as he had stumbled across a report about John's playing with his prostheses, both files flipped back to the cover page by themselves and across it, **perfect match** shone in big green letters. He couldn't remember filling out the questionnaire of a dating platform, so he stared at the screen in surprise until he finally hesitantly touched the lettering. The files disappeared and instead a single new page appeared.   
**Erin Winter x Michael J. Summer** he could read, after that a list seemed to follow, of which he only saw _100%_ in every line, the rest was blacked out. Somewhere the raw data must be for this, probably for all of them. If the summary was available in text form, then surely also as a match-making table. He dimly remembered a program for DNA-protein conversion analysis, which he had helped with half-heartedly; there had been a lot of discussions about the presentation of those same matches. For a moment he chewed on his lower lip, then he pulled the ID cards out of the terminal and headed for the tech center.

~

Only in the late afternoon and after many cups of coffee Mike had managed to squeeze through the virtual back door and was stumbling over his own background file first. He stared at his own photo, under which were his initials, his personnel number and his personal ID, and tried to convince himself that he would regret looking inside. But he did it anyway.

**Michael Jonathan Summer**

_Father:_ Jonathan Richard Summer (Richard William Summer, Anna Summer, née Kennedy)

_Mother:_ Mirasol Summer, née Boa Vista

_Siblings:_ Jacob Summer, Philipp Summer

For a brief moment Mike wondered if he should continue the family tradition and give his firstborn his own name, but then he saw that there was a file attached to Jacob's name and tapped into it.   
_Access denied._   
A little surprised he shrugged and turned the pages. What followed was a flood of pictures; official photos and secretly taken snapshots. He saw himself with his family and friends, but mostly with women. Women he liked to remember; women he could not remember; and women he did not want to remember. The pictures were not numbered and he certainly didn't count, but long before the end of the photo series, he had the feeling that there were too many. The last picture was the official photographer's picture of his twenty-first birthday, with his parents, grandparents and brothers. They were all dressed up and, despite their smiling faces, they all seemed so serious and formal, so impersonal and distant. He himself was unmistakably a younger version of his father, as was Jacob, whose features were only a little more rounded. Philip, however, looked like his mother.   
Suddenly the sight hurt and he kept turning the pages.   
Then followed the report on his military examination, which he deliberately skipped, and again photos, this time from his military service. The first showed him in his parade uniform, the second in his combat uniform, then came a handful of pictures from the various barracks and bases, even one straight from the front. But then he caught his breath in surprise when he saw a picture of his back, full of bloody wounds that could only be a few days old. He swallowed and flicked on - and saw himself lying in a hospital bed, with a respirator mask on his face, his head and right arm wired over and over. Where his other arm and legs should have been, the blanket lay flat. Hesitantly he turned the pages. The same scenery, this time without a protective blanket.   
He didn't want to see what he was seeing, but there were surgical wounds on his chest and stomach that seemed to have healed incredibly fast and without the slightest hint of a scar, because he couldn't remember a thing about them ever having existed.   
Somehow they must have replaced my internal organs.   
He didn't want to know, to see or think about it, but his fingers were suddenly shaking so much that it took him several attempts to close his file.

As if the system was mocking him, it suggested other background files- Maisie, Gus, Dr. Foster, but primarily Erin. Going through his own file was one thing, but someone else's... He didn't really want to know what was in it, he was just a little curious about the pictures.   
The Erin in the first picture looked like she was twelve; she was standing at the blackboard in the classroom and seemed to be giving a lecture. The next picture already showed her at the prom and Mike had to look twice to recognize her. The dress was so dark blue that it looked almost black, and her hair was pinned up and beaded, with a single strand artfully draped against her cheek. She beamed happily past the camera, and the young man she had clung to had to feel like a prince. At least Mike would have felt that way at that moment, because everything about Erin was breathtaking. A smile crept across his face, his fingers had stopped shaking and he kept flipping pages.   
A family photo full of living chaos, probably taken semi-professionally in the living room at home. Erin's sisters and her mother were unmistakable, her father had put a hand on her shoulder. Her brothers-in-law seemed fully integrated and several children sat where it suited them, a baby slept in the arms of Erin's mother. The scene was in stark contrast to his own family photo, and as he looked at Erin and her family, all bubbling over with joie de vivre, he wondered if their fathers would have had any kind of conversation if they had ever met. Probably not.   
He turned the pages and saw Erin, first in her parade uniform, then in her battle gear. She looked confident, strong, and demanding respect. Admittedly, the rifle she was holding supported her charisma, but messing with an Erin on duty seemed extremely unwise to him. The bright red cap looked good on her, but Mike sighed softly. There were worlds between Erin's charisma and her self-perception. He flipped through the pages and saw Erin in the office and on duty, at shooting practice and with comrades. There was a happy couple's photo and then a report which showed the picture of a sick and tired looking Erin. _Kidnapping by B.M.- full report_ Mike blinked in surprise before closing the file. He wouldn't ask her about it; if she was going to tell him at some point- good, if not,well, then not. It wasn't his place to interfere with her past.

~

Mike stared at the chart and tried to understand what he saw. Basically, it wasn't that hard, after all, he had deliberately looked for the match-making table, but his head was a little overstrained by too much coffee on a steadily growing exhaustion base.   
In the rows were the women, in the columns the men. The intersections were colored red, yellow or green, with three fields standing out.   
_Matthew Foster_ and _Nanami Tanaka_ had a silver field, as did _Natascha Nowikova_ and _Gordon Collins. Erin Winter_ and _Michael Summer_ had a gold field. Gold. A perfect match.   
The question of _why_ the whole thing had been made came to the foreground. But certainly not to make good teams. It's silly they always put men and women together anyway. Mike rubbed his eyes and paused.   
_Perfect match_, really? Atreus is not a dating site.   
At that moment it dawned on him and he stared at the screen with his mouth open. John had mentioned that only carriers of the supposed A-level had been selected for the Atreus mission. He and Erin had an A-level genome and John had also told Erin that there were two more carriers of it, probably one of each of the two silver matches. Because what he saw there was literally a mating table. People who lived very long or stayed forever young were valuable. And if you could raise them on the spot with a focus on the mission...   
Mike felt sick. He ran his fingers through his hair, but then he had to do something else, grabbed his ID and left the tech center in a hurry.

Leaning his forehead against the cool glass window of the station, Mike looked out over the lake and the yellow-brown rocks. If he didn't go crazy out here, he would witness it when people could walk across a green Atreus, ice-cream in hand and not giving a thought about Earth. The idea scared him. But he took a deep breath and stepped back from the window; he wanted answers and explanations and the only one who could give them to him was John.   
When he entered the lab shortly afterwards, John smiled at him.   
"Good evening, Michael. Did you find what you were looking for?"   
Mike stopped dead in his tracks. "What?"   
"I thought you were looking for something." John's fine smile was almost creepy.   
"At least I found a few questions," Mike said slowly.   
"Go ahead, I'd love to hear them." The android made an inviting gesture and Mike took a few steps closer, in the end he didn't want to talk halfway across the lab.   
"What... what's the deal with this _perfect match_?" he wanted to know right away, and before John said anything, he had a dull feeling in his stomach.   
"Well, it means just that. Taking all possible parameters into account, you and Erin are a perfect couple."   
Mike swallowed. "What does that mean? Which parameters?"   
"Your genes. Your character. Your wishes and expectations. Checkpoints in your past. Everything that makes you a member of this mission. And outstanding parents."   
"Excuse me?"   
John looked at Mike like he was some glorified hero. "Well, in due course, the research station will need offspring. You two will start a new generation."   
Mike couldn't manage to close his open mouth.   
"To sum up, you were meant for each other."   
Stunned, Mike stared at John, who put on a winning smile.   
"But you don't have to listen to it all twice. Everything else, including your promotion, we'll discuss when Erin wakes up."   
"_Promotion_?" Mike moaned flat out, overwhelmed.   
"Yes, but like I said, later. All in good time."


	15. 09.03.- Day 18- I build a city for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I build a city for you" - "Ich bau 'ne Stadt für dich" from "Stadt" by Cassandra Steen

Mike suddenly woke up from a nightmare and almost fell off the couch where he had dozed off. For a moment, his head was spinning. When he stood up, a groan escaped him, and when he stretched, it cracked in his shoulders. He still felt like he'd been chewed up and spit out.   
_You were meant for each other._   
The sentence stayed in his head and while he went to the infirmary he tried not to think through the new facts for the ten thousandth time. It couldn't be denied that from the point of view of the mission founders it was a logical step to select the mission members also from the aspect of their descendants. But he felt betrayed once again.   
The scientists got sex androids, a bar and who knows what amenities, while the rest was kept as small as possible.   
_Am I only here in the end to raise mission-compliant children? Me, of all people?_   
The thought, however, was one of those questions he preferred not to have answered.   
When he finally stood in front of the medical capsule and looked at the sleeping Erin, he suddenly had a completely different thought: what if what he felt wasn't real at all? What if the mission operators artificially made the playboy with the excellent genes focus solely on the right woman?   
Cold crept into his chest. Were they really capable of doing so?   
His gaze wandered to the control panel of the capsule. The healing sleep was over and the phase of slow awakening had begun. Since Erin's healing sleep had been very intense, waking up could take several hours, but for that he suddenly had no nerve. Real or false feelings or not, he couldn't bear to see her lying in that Snow White coffin. He broke off the wake-up phase and forced off all protests from the capsule until it opened with a hiss a little bit, then he opened the lid completely.   
Erin breathed slowly and deeply and he brushed aside the strand that had bothered him from the beginning. Carefully he lifted her up and pressed her to himself for a moment before returning to his room with her.

~

Erin blinked into Mike's sleeping face. She couldn't remember how she got here - she felt like she had just run through a thunderstorm - but Mike looked so tired that she could guess the answer. Carefully she got up and took towels from the cupboard panel, then she went into the bathroom and froze as she took a fleeting glance in the mirror.   
There was smeared blood on her face. Her jacket and blouse were torn, literally torn to shreds, staring in blood. Her right trouser leg was covered with blood. The towels slipped out of her hand. The blood had long since dried, but still she panicked for a moment and hurriedly took off her jacket and blouse, only to find an area of clean rosy-fresh skin on her right side; smeared blood was all around. She looked up and into the mirror again, looked herself in the frightened face and then stumbled back into the room.   
"Mike!"   
"Huh?" His head jerked up and stared at her for a moment. "Erin..."   
"Yeah. What the hell happened?" she wanted to know. Slowly he sat up and rubbed his eyes. When he didn't answer, she added: "Why am I covered in blood?"   
"You almost died," he finally said muffled, his face half hidden behind his hands. Given the amount of blood, the answer was not entirely surprising.   
"But... why? And why am I not in a capsule?" She knew that she must have been lying in a capsule- a wound which bled like that would not heal with a snap of a finger- but why had he taken her out?   
His answer consisted of silence, but he got red ears. She looked at him a little irritated, but when he raised his eyes, he said softly: "Go take a shower, you need it."   
She hesitated. Everything about him said that something was very wrong, so she asked: "Is everything all right?"   
Again he rubbed his eyes. "I found some things I wish I hadn't," he said after a sigh.   
"Do you want to tell me about it?" she kept asking.   
"Not at the moment, no."   
She nodded slowly.   
"Take a shower. John wanted to talk to us," he added after a pause.

Erin didn't take the time to use a hair dryer, but tied her hair wet in a loose braid. Mike looked at her skeptically, but she grabbed her belt before she threw on a new jacket.   
"Shall we go?"   
He nodded. He seemed so depressed that she held him by the arm before he could get into the elevator.   
"You can talk to me, you know?" She said softly. "Whatever you found seems to be weighing heavily on your soul, so..."   
Reluctantly he licked his lips before answering. "Among other things, it was my background file..."   
"And you looked into it?"   
"Stupid, I know..."   
Skeptically, she looked up at him, but he wrung an almost convincing smile from himself, so she just nodded and they continued on their way.   
"It's good to see you back on your feet," John greeted Erin and nodded at her. "Michael."   
Mike just nodded back.   
"Well, despite the fact that the ship seems to need repair, there is another important point I need to talk to you about," John said with an undertone that irritated Erin. Was it enthusiasm? Excitement?   
"Which is?" she asked with a frown. What was more important than the ship?   
"Your promotion."   
Stunned, her eyebrows fluttered in the air; Mike looked as if he had stomach ache. "Excuse me?"   
"I wasn't aware there was a career ladder here," he half-heartedly tried a joke. She gave him a quick glance; his face told her that John must have mentioned something like that to him.   
John smiled. "This post was intended for you from the beginning."   
"And what kind of position are we talking about here?" Skeptically, she crossed her arms in front of her chest.   
"From now on, you are the supervisors of the research station."   
"Why does this have a jailhouse feel to it?" Mike muttered to himself in surprise.   
"Oh, please. You have seen for yourselves that the self-regulation of the social system does not work as well as it should. The station needs someone to keep a permanent overview," John replied slightly reprimanding. "You don't need cryosleep, you can intervene in emergencies and you've already made bridge contact with the colony."   
"Yes, but..." Erin didn't know what to say. She felt the need to protest, but found no words.   
"Why now?" Mike asked with a scowl.   
"Because with the arrival of the third spacecraft, the staffing of the research station is complete."   
Mike seemed to be as unhappy with the answer as Erin herself. She shook her head.   
"But John, that's completely-"   
"Fiddlesticks!" John interrupted her. "Communication between Atreus and Earth is far too slow to be effective. The station needs you."   
"But-"   
"Come on, let me show you your new place of work." John went ahead without another word. Erin and Mike exchanged a surprised look and he shrugged before they followed the android.

In the staircase, as if by magic, an entrance to a second floor had appeared; when they reached the top, Erin quickly looked around.   
"What are these rooms?"   
"A few smaller labs, a conference room, more offices and the supervisor's office." John went straight to the first door and opened it. "Here you go."   
At first it looked like the security or technical center: crammed with terminals and technical stuff and a holo table in the middle. However, the room was divided in two and on the left side, separated by a terminal with a huge screen, was a simple office with a large double desk, an interactive whiteboard and a shiny coffee machine.   
"This is quite an improvement," Mike remarked impressed. Erin nodded in surprise and registered John's proud smile.   
"What's that cupboard there?" she asked and pointed to the doors behind John.   
"This? Oh, this is your personal elevator. But for the first time, we'd rather walk." He left the supervisor's office and when Erin and Mike went after him again, Mike mumbled to her:   
"Do you think he's exaggerating a bit?"   
"Just a little bit." She hinted at a tininess with her fingers and Mike nodded.   
Then they remained silent until they reached the basement.   
"This is the entrance to your new home," John explained, pressing a wall panel that slid to the side and opened up a narrow passageway. On the left side the doors of the personal elevator gleamed and Erin shook her head.   
"Would you rather continue living in a monotonous shift room?" John asked in a tone of voice that would not tolerate any contradiction, and she shook her head again, this time more fiercely. Suddenly she felt like a little kid. John nodded and walked down the corridor until they came to a plain white door.   
"Here you are, your new home." John smiled his fine smile. "I am forbidden to enter your privacy, so be free to look at everything in a calm manner. The order terminal in the kitchen will not be activated until midnight, so you have to use the dining room today. If you have any questions, you can use the communication channel in the office." He nodded at them and left.   
Erin looked after him and even when he had long since left the narrow corridor, she didn't move. Neither did Mike, but at some point he asked quietly:   
"Shall we?"   
She shrugged.   
He had his hand scanned at the door and then they entered their new home. And stood in the middle of a large open dining kitchen, on the left side of which a graceful staircase made of steel struts and glass from another floor was winding down.   
"Wow," she mumbled.   
Mike whistled approvingly.   
"That's plenty of room for two ..." she added when she saw the doors on the right.   
"Well... it's not like there's a housing shortage. Atreus' population is quite manageable," he said dryly, opening an inconspicuous door to the left. Behind it was a small guest toilet. On the right side they found one after the other a large bathroom, an even larger office, a small gym and a small chamber where a medical capsule was located.   
"So much for exaggerating," Mike said, shaking his head. "Let's go upstairs."   
She nodded slowly, feeling overwhelmed and a little lost.   
"White fluffy carpet... it won't stay white for long...", Mike, who was walking up the stairs before her, muttered skeptical.   
"I don't think so." She agreed with him and stood beside him, only to be amazed again. Half behind them stretched a huge living room with a huge panoramic corner window that allowed a view over Atreus and the lake. She slipped a toneless _"oh"_.   
Mike tried to say something twice, but then he kept silent. After a moment, she cleared her throat and said softly:   
"Shall we see the rest?"   
He nodded pale. Turning to the row of rooms opposite the staircase, they discovered a two-part bathroom with a Jacuzzi, a walk-in closet - larger than the room Erin had shared with her sister - including a clothes printer, a large bedroom with an oversized double bed, two empty rooms, another bathroom and another empty room.

Afterwards Erin let herself fall silently onto one of the sofas and hid her face in her hands. The promotion was one thing, she could live with it, even though she admittedly did not like giving the commander. But in an apartment that was much too big for two people, empty rooms had only one meaning.   
"Nursery...", she said quietly, looked up and looked at Mike, who had also let himself sink into a chair, rather surprised. "Did you know that?"   
He shook his head slightly. "John mentioned a promotion, but he didn't want to say everything twice..."   
"I'm not even sure what we were promoted to," she murmured.   
He started to answer, but closed his mouth again and shook his head. Erin remembered Mike's joke: _"If you want some, you can talk to me."_ As it seemed, the subject of children was not up for discussion. At least not for both of them.   
After rubbing her eyebrows, she stood up and slowly walked back to the walk-in closet. All the compartments, drawers, cupboards and hangers were empty - would she ever fill the place? To test it, she switched on the clothes printer, which even had a holo-projection function.   
"Hello, Erin," she was greeted by a squeaky voice. "Your closet's empty. Shall we start with the basics?"   
Stunned, she stared at the printer. "Uh... later... I think...", she said unsettled, but the printer immediately replied:   
"Whatever you say," and turned itself off.   
She shook her head in surprise and went through a connecting door into the bedroom. It was kept in soft cream, yellow and gold tones and seemed cozy, even if impersonal. In the wall opposite the door there was a strip of window at head height, through which daylight shone in, dimmed by translucent curtains. Being woken by the sunrise...   
The idea of an everyday life in forced togetherness with admonishing children's rooms in the neck caused Erin stomach ache and she left the bedroom.   
Mike was still sitting there lost in thought and so she slowly walked down the stairs to the dining kitchen. Curious, she looked into the cupboards and was astonished. There was everything the heart could desire, and had she known what to do with all this stuff, she would have had a leisure activity for a very long time. Half amused, half overwhelmed she snorted and leaned against a kitchen counter in light wood optics. She had never had her own apartment, had never lived with a man.   
The feeling of being a bit overwhelmed by the situation grew into a hysterical giggle and ended with a few angry tears. She had just wiped them away when Mike came down the stairs, stopped on the penultimate step and leaned against the railing. Thoughtfully he looked at her, thoughtfully she looked back.   
An unpleasant emptiness spread inside her.   
"I'm not sure if I'm going to stop at the idea of growing webbed feet..." he said slowly and she raised an eyebrow.   
"Or?"   
"Or whether I should drown myself instead."   
"I think a walk without a hazmat suit is more effective."   
"I know, I know. But so radical..." He rubbed his neck and a half-hearted smile crept up on his face. Involuntarily, he had to return it.   
"You are impossible."   
"I know." His smile became a sigh. "But I'm serious. I'm going for a bath."   
"Go for it..." She nodded at him and he went into the bathroom.   
A little later he poked his head through the door. "Say, have you seen any towels around here?"   
"I wasn't paying attention... but I can go find some."   
"Great."   
For a moment she blinked at the door, then she went looking for towels, only to print some out at the end.   
"For Mike? Oh, but white is _boring_. I recommend this dark sea green," the printer beeped.   
"Why dark sea green?" Erin asked, accepting the suggestion with a shrug.   
"It's a mixture of his favorite color and the color of his eyes," the printer explained busily, buzzing softly.   
She raised an eyebrow but said nothing, just took the pile of towels and thanked politely.   
"You're welcome. Shall I make you some too? I recommend this pattern in light pink and silver grey."   
"Um... no thanks. I'm not really into pink. How about turquoise?"   
The printer snorted. "No."   
"Well, then, no. We'll discuss this later, okay?"   
"Whatever you say. My name is Vee, by the way."   
"Okay... Vee... see you later." Talking to a clothes printer was not normally part of what Erin considered to be good mental health, but by now she shouldn't really be surprised about anything concerning the station.

She went back to the bathroom and knocked gently. From inside came an approving growl and she slipped inside.   
Mike had made himself comfortable in the twilight under foamy mountains, eyes closed and seemed to listen to the soft sounds of classical music.   
She carefully placed the towels on a stool next to the bathtub and was already halfway to the door when he quietly said:   
"You can stay."   
"I don't want to bother you."   
"The last few days have been lonely enough."   
She paused and then turned around.   
He nodded at her and so she finally sat down on a second stool.   
"What day is it, anyway?" she asked.   
"The ninth..."   
She nodded thoughtfully - her healing sleep had lasted quite a while.   
"Did you find towels?"   
"Vee printed some." She answered and held one up with pointed fingers. "In dark sea green." She waved the towel like in a commercial and he raised an eyebrow.   
"Who is Vee and why dark sea green?"   
"Vee is the clothes printer. He/she recommended me the color." Fluently she added: "A mixture of his favorite color and the color of his eyes."   
First Mike looked puzzled, then he laughed. "And your towels?"   
"Vee would like me to choose light pink and silver grey. But I hate pink." She put the towel back and shook her head while he grinned. "Enjoying your bath?"   
"Less foam, more scent and above all candlelight would be nice," he replied, lifting a handful of foam out of the tub and blowing it into the air with a critical glance.   
She raised an eyebrow. "Is there a _romantic_ in you?"   
"Why not? Even one-night stands can be romantic."   
"Aren't you confusing romance with eroticism?"   
"Tsk, tsk, tsk..." He shook his head. "I know what I'm talking about."   
"Well, if you say so..." Skepticism underscored with quiet mockery dripped from Erin's words like the water from Mike as he bent over and leaned on the edge of the tub. But the verbal reaction was delayed, instead he looked at Erin examining her.   
Finally he said seriously: "There's exactly one reason I'm not inviting you into the tub." For a moment the bath foam crackled unpleasantly loud in her ears as she searched for an answer. Finally, she decided for the truth:   
"There would be only one reason to refuse such an invitation."   
Something like surprise crept up on his face, but she broke eye contact and got up. "Enjoy your bath."

~

Surprised, Mike looked after her. The hint of bitterness in her words didn't escape him, but as long as she didn't want to talk to him, his hands were literally tied. He sighed deeply and leaned back again. The scarred skin of his back stretched and flexed. If they had managed to make part of his scars disappear, why not this ones?   
The crackling of the bath foam made him suddenly very nervous and so he took a deep breath and let himself sink under water.

_"You hear me, right? Can you tell me your name?" _   
_"Mike... Michael Summer..." Something was pressing on his face. The man's voice kept asking: _   
_"And your birthday?" _   
_"August 20th..." Whatever was on his face was bothering him, but he couldn't lift a finger. Even breathing was difficult for him and he tried in vain to focus his gaze. _   
_"Do you know where you are?" _   
_There was a terrible mess in his head. He had no idea which memory was the newest, but that alone was reason enough to think of a hospital. "...no..." _   
_"You are now in the Detroit Military Research Hospital." _   
_"Detroit?" He finally managed to focus at least on the figure next to him. _   
_The man in the white coat smiled at him encouragingly. _   
_"I'm on the front line in the South American war," Mike began to object. _   
_The doctor shook his head gently. "You've been here for over a week. Do you feel able to answer a few questions about your condition?"_

~

The controller in Mike's hands vibrated briefly as the loading screen disappeared and the main menu appeared. He selected the civilization overview, but then pressed random selection.   
Caesar appeared with an Italian Empire. _For Italy. For God. For Caesar._, stood on a flag positioned next to the animated figure. He checked the Italian Special Forces and stopped when he read the special skill: _Courtesan. Every ten rounds Caesar can visit a courtesan who will produce a random unit of the current age in gold rank in the following round._   
Italy was cancelled.   
He chose a new random civilization and got the Germans. The leader, unknown to him, stood in the auditorium of a theatre, where above a washed-out figure stood: _We must reproduce/ Convert the world to salvation/ Born to serve/ Bred to win at all times._   
Had the different nations in the game always been so fanatical? A third time he chose a random civilization and received the United States. Some insignificant president with red-blonde curls beamed towards him; above the symbol of the White House stood _Yes, we can!_ The special forces weren't so much Mike's thing, but you always had to cut back a little. But then he read under the special ability section directly the word _android program_ and was fed up with it. He closed the game and took a deep breath.   
_No, the world is not out to get you, that's just selective perception._ He tried to convince himself, but he still felt fooled.

"Headshot," the system voice told him. "Enemy killed. Ally killed."   
Mike cursed softly. The AI was not the most intelligent at this level of difficulty, which had both advantages and disadvantages - at the moment the disadvantages outweighed the advantages.   
"Allied base destroyed. Ally killed."   
"Oh, come on... where's that damn Medic when you need him?"   
"Don't you think it's time to go to bed?" There was Erin's voice in the background.   
"What?" He made surprised.   
"It's almost midnight."   
"You were killed."   
"Uh..."   
Erin looked like she had already slept.   
"Did I wake you up?"   
"Yeah, but don't worry... John must have come up with some plan to fix the ship. And for that we should be well rested." She was right about that, but Mike had actually intended to settle himself on the couch. Since she wasn't stupid, she could figure it out, he could see it in her eyes.   
"This is _our_ bed," she said promptly. _Normally_, she wouldn't have to ask him twice. "You're gonna lose anyway," she added and he sighed.   
He turned off the game, then the console and followed her into the bedroom. To his surprise, his sleeping clothes were already lying on his side of the bed. But the surprise became even bigger when he wanted to go through the wardrobe into the bathroom with the things in his hand and found the same wardrobe already well stocked. Shirts and jackets hung there, he saw sweaters, shirts and trousers, in one compartment he found sports stuff, in a drawer socks and underpants.   
This answered the question of what Erin had been up to in the last hours. Impressed, he went into the bathroom, changed his clothes and brushed his teeth quickly before slipping into the big bed.   
Erin looked at him.   
"Thank you," he said and she nodded slowly before turning off the bedside lamp. He squeezed the pillow until it was fluffy and muttered:   
"Good night."   
"Sleep well," she replied softly. After a moment she said even more, but his eyes were already closing.


	16. 10.03.- Day 19 - Through your eyes I see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Through your eyes I see" - "Durch deine Augen schaue ich" from "Die Schönheit der Schatten" by Versengold

Mike blinked into the darkness. Something had woken him up, but he couldn't say what. He was about to turn around when he heard a low whimper.   
Erin had curled up on her side as usual, but she was trembling and mumbling something incomprehensible before she whimpered again.   
He slid over to her and pulled her towards him. "Shh..."   
"No..." she murmured.  
"Erin, it's just a bad dream, you can wake up..."   
Her fingers clawed painfully into his side, she winced violently and then her head jerked up. For a moment she looked at him in a very disturbing way, then she relaxed and leaned her forehead against his shoulder.   
"It was just a bad dream..." he said softly and stroked her back slowly and calmly.   
"I know," she muttered.   
"Do you want to talk about it?"   
"The kidnapping... Ben..."   
"Ben?"   
She froze. Mike remembered the report he'd seen in her file.   
"You've been kidnapped before."   
She pushed his arm away and moved it a little bit back before quietly saying, "Yes. On duty." Since she didn't continue, he carefully asked:   
"May I know? I mean, I'd like to know why you have nightmares."   
For a long time, Erin said nothing. Eventually, she began slowly:   
"Ben was master at arms in my service barracks. A really nice guy, travelled a lot, could tell exciting things and liked to flirt. Unobtrusive, helpful..." She paused and Mike wondered if it was helpful to ask questions or if he should just let her talk. He chose the first option.   
"Was he flirting with you, too?"   
"Yes, but in a natural way."   
"I'm not sure I know what you mean by that."  
"Well, the companionable banter. Flirting somehow, but without intention."   
"Ah, yeah..."   
She sighed, "Ben was twenty years older than me and when I started my service there he had a girlfriend. If he was actually interested, I wouldn't have reciprocated."   
"Hmm," Mike put it simply.   
"One summer during the holidays, five girls disappeared from the neighboring family village. Daughters of high-ranking officers, the granddaughter of a retired general. We were completely in the dark for two weeks, they just vanished off to nowhere." Erin paused.   
"And then what?" He asked cautiously.   
"I went to the village with my partner Danny to talk to the families again. Ben came out of one of the neighboring houses. He told us he was house-sitting for his brother and his family during the holidays and because it was so hot, he offered us some water."   
"Should you have even taken that?" Mike wanted to know.   
"Not really," she admitted. "But Danny and Ben had known each other since basic training, it was awful hot and officially our shift was almost over." A little shaky, she caught her breath. "I don't remember picking up a glass of water at all, though. I just woke up in a basement, chained to the wall with five very disturbed teenagers."   
"Oh..." it escaped Mike.   
"Yeah..." she said softly. "When I leaned in, I could see through the door into another room... there was Danny..." Even though she tried to keep a neutral tone of voice, he heard the pain in her voice and he had to pull himself together very hard not to reach for her hand. "At some point, after the others had fallen asleep, Tessa told me what had happened so far. That Ben hardly ever feeds them, only occasionally. That he always carries an old-fashioned gun and mumbles something about six bullets. He takes them into the bathroom next door and sometimes jerks off in front of them. He whispers his fantasies in their ears." Once again she took a shaky breath.   
Mike got a lump in his throat just from listening to her. Being held hostage by Felix was a vacation by comparison.   
"At one point Ben arrived, holding an antique drum revolver. _Six bullets, six women._ He demanded of Tessa to undress, kiss and seduce him. I wanted to protect her..." Erin started stammering. "I asked him if he really wanted to abuse a child." She stumbled over her own words. "He said, _'This is the protest I was hoping for'._ He was... He forced himself on me. And I did not resist."   
Mike's mouth fell open. "He raped you."   
"No."   
Irritated, he blinked at her silhouette. "You didn't want to sleep with him. So-"   
"No. I was trying to protect the girls," she replied violently, close to tears.   
"Maybe, but that's still a ra-"   
_"No!"_ She yelled at him.

She had already slipped out of bed and was out the door before Mike - completely perplexed by her reaction - fought his way out of his blanket.   
To his relief, she hadn't got far. At the bottom of the stairs she had sunk to the floor leaning against the wall and sobbing terribly. Slowly he walked towards her and crouched down next to her. When he touched her gently on the arm, she flinched and so he sat down next to her and was silent for a moment before he said quietly:   
"You talked about it with the psychologists..."   
"No, I haven't."   
"It's the rules."   
"They don't know." she choked between two sobs.   
"Excuse me? How can they not know?" In disbelief, he looked at the back of her head. Slowly her sobs turned into sniffles and then she sighed in agony.   
"I didn't tell them."   
"But..." He could find no words.   
"Ben shot the girls. They had to watch and then he shot them. I fought with him for the gun and pulled the trigger when I could." She sobbed again and put her head against the wall. If there was no one there to back up her story, Erin could tell what she wanted to hide her feelings behind. She had been raped by a man she not only knew, but valued as a comrade.   
_Do you trust me?_   
Mike swallowed. He looked at Erin's slender figure and without touching her he felt her skin on his fingers. He felt her body shudder under his touch. He heard her protest, felt her slap, the fingernails digging into his shoulder.   
_Yes, I trust you._   
Despite the pressure on his chest, a sob escaped him. "You know... if we're honest... I'm no better. I just..." He swallowed. Tears filled his eyes, too many to blink away. "I forced myself on you the same way. I was also..." Suddenly he couldn't get the word through his lips. He slapped his hands in front of his face. "Oh, God!" he whispered and sobbed again. "What have I done?" No curse word he knew did him justice. How could she be so composed with him? How did she manage to smile at him, or even sleep in the same bed? Why didn't he realize it until now?

He was crying. Sobs shook him and he gasped for air. There wasn't a clear thought in his head, everything was spinning. Fragments of memories - very clear and distinct - flashed up, things he couldn't remember before because of the Brain Booster. He didn't want to remember.   
"I'm sorry," he choked. "I'm so, so sorry..."   
"There's no need." Erin's icy fingers pulled his hands away from his face.   
"Wha...?" He was so surprised he got the hiccups. Erin's insides must've been one big pile of shards, but she looked at him so earnestly and calmly that all he could do was look back at her speechlessly.   
Finally, she lowered her eyes. "Don't be sorry." She sounded a little embarrassed and then quietly, barely audibly, added: "The end was good."   
He stared at her stunned for a moment before he could answer. "Lord in heaven-- Erin, just because you have an or-orgasm doesn't mean that-- the sex was good or nice. It-- it just means your partner pushed the-- the right buttons. You didn't want to, and-- your body betrayed you."   
Mute tears rolled down her cheeks. Slowly and through the shock, he realized that she didn't want to admit what had happened, that she twisted the truth so much that she was no longer the victim. This understanding caused the tears to come back to his eyes as well. He closed them, swallowed hard and wished he could go far away, somewhere where time travel was possible, so he could undo this disaster.   
As he sniffed, Erin suddenly wiped gently across his cheeks.   
"What are you doing?" He blinked at her through the veil of tears.   
"You said you wished someone would wipe away your tears too."   
For one long, very long, yet so brief moment, he realized why they should be a _perfect match_. A sad smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.   
_I don't deserve to be your perfect match._   
Beneath her fragile exterior must be a steel frame with a diamond core.   
"You know," she started, "if you had just asked me... I mean, I can understand why you wouldn't be on good terms with the androids after what happened with Emily... "  
"All I would have gotten was a slap in the face."   
"In the end, you got one," she returned dry. They looked at each other, then he shook his head.   
"You are impossible."   
"Hey, that's my line." She poked him in the chest with a finger.   
Once again, he was speechless.   
So she put her hand on his knee and leaned against him. "Is the point of talking about it done?"   
He nodded silently.   
"Good. 'Cause I like you better as a happy, annoying, making stupid jokes Mike."   
"...thanks."   
They remained silent for a while, then he asked quietly: "Can we find a more comfortable place to not-talk?"   
"Mmm-hmm," she agreed. Awkwardly they got up and walked up the stairs, which were just wide enough for two.   
Mike reached for Erin's hand, but she only briefly returned the touch and let go. _So much for that._   
But when they were in bed and he had turned off the light, she suddenly snuggled up to him. He gently kissed her hair.   
"I'm sorry..." he muttered again.   
"I know," she muttered back. "Me too."

~

Mike was woken by a shrill ringing sound.   
Next to him Erin was mumbling sullenly. "What was that?"   
"I don't know..."   
She pulled the covers half over her head. At that moment it shrilled again.   
"I think it's the doorbell." He stood up while she growled involuntarily. "I'm gonna go check." he said, hurrying down the stairs to the door behind which - who else could it be? - John was standing.   
Mike couldn't resist saying: "You're disturbing", but John raised an eyebrow, as if he knew for certain that this was nowhere near as true.   
"Michael, we need to talk. Please put on something decent."   
"Again?" Reluctantly, Mike made a face.   
"Yes." John seemed unpleasantly serious, yet Mike rolled his eyes. He hurried up the stairs and paused briefly in the bedroom. Erin had fallen asleep again and so he quickly slipped into the first things he could find in the wardrobe before he went back to John without motivation.   
There was still quite a mess in his head and he would have liked to get some time for himself to bring order to his thoughts and feelings.   
"Come on," John simply said and Mike had no choice but to follow him.

Unlike usual, John was wearing a belt with a bunch of smaller and larger pockets on it, but before Mike could ask for it, John stopped in front of the room where Mike had stayed the last few weeks.   
"What are we doing here?"   
"After you."   
Mike opened the door and hadn't taken three steps when he stopped again - facing his android twin. "Oh."   
"Hey..." Matt said happily.   
"What's he doing here?" Mike turned to John, behind whom the door had just closed.   
"Matt will be taking your place for a while," John simply said, passing Mike and nodding to Matt.   
"Excuse me?" Mike asked, taken by surprise.   
"The current situation allows us to enhance your personal life. And that's exactly what Matt will do, since you're obviously not up to it."   
"What?" Mike was incapable of anything more than staring at John speechlessly.   
"You've been talking. Good. Matt will start there and create the romance." John glanced at Mike for a moment. "Strip."   
"Why? I mean, why all this? What's the point?" Mike took a step back.   
"Take off your clothes," John repeated in a slightly sharper tone.   
"I don't know how you know we talked, but this is really not the time for romance. I'd like to start- oh." Mike paused and stared in unpleasant surprise at the gun that was suddenly pointed at his chest. In his years in the military, he had seen enough weapons to know when he was facing an EMP pistol. He swallowed hard and slowly raised his hands.   
There was a disgustingly friendly smile on John's face. "Do we agree on the fact that you don't necessarily want to find out which of your internal organs are artificial?"   
Mike nodded.   
"Then get undressed."   
Slowly Mike undressed until he was in his underpants between John and Matt.   
"Hold him tight," John said to Matt, who wrapped his arms around Mike from behind, while John took something shiny metallic from a small box. It took Mike a moment to realize that John was holding a piercing and was about to put it back in its original place.   
"I would like to do without it," Mike said tense, but John shook his head.   
"It causes a paralyzing electric shock if you try to remove it or try to leave the room. Hold still." Without further ado, John drilled the piercing into Mike's nipple and he couldn't suppress a brief painful scream.   
Matt held him like a vise.   
"Dude, I'd like to keep my nipples," Mike growled afterwards as John rudely screwed the second tiny bead onto it.   
"You will. Unless you try something stupid," John reassured him, then took something else from one of his belt pockets, held it against the piercing and pressed a button. A short, subtle buzz twitched through Mike's muscles. "Good. Put on the clothes on the bed. Matt, get Michael's things and then go."   
Matt nodded and slipped into Mike's clothes, who walked to the bed reluctantly, rubbing his nipple.   
"Could you please explain to me what this is all about?" He reached for a pair of dark sweatpants.   
"I thought you would have understood by now," John replied somewhat condescendingly. "The mission plan calls for you and Erin to have children."   
Mike glanced skeptically at Matt, who no longer wore a piercing, and in Mike's clothes was pretty much a perfect reflection of him. "I can follow on this one. But I don't think the android is capable of it."   
"No. But Erin's body, by acquiring eternal youth, has entered a kind of dormant mode to avoid wasting ovules. In order to restart her cycle, a certain hormone level must be reached. And this usually occurs when the woman is in love and wants a child."   
Mike raised an eyebrow. The game John was playing in the name of the Atreus Mission was getting crazier and crazier. "You send a sex android who looks like me to Erin to make her fall in love with me? That's pretty weird."   
Matt left the room in the background.   
"Matt's not just a sex android. He's your copy."   
"Tsk, sure." Mike shook his head and pulled the sweater over his head, then he paused. Matt had mentioned when they first met that the bedroom androids had the personality of a real person to be more authentic. "What do you mean?" he turned to John. "How can he be my copy?"   
"Your brain implants send all information to a receiver- Matt. He has all your memories, feelings, thoughts. I will activate the process bilaterally so you know what Matt is doing in your place." John took another little device out of a pocket and held it to Mike's forehead. After a brief moment, he put it away and took a step back, then he explained in a busy tone of voice: "We had hoped that Erin, as your _perfect match_, would fall in love in no time. Since that's not the case and our time frame has shrunk by ten years due to Dr. Foster's arbitrary actions, we have to speed things up a bit. According to the personality analysis, after your emotional outburst Erin is open to another approach for a short period of time - this must be used."   
"So you can't manipulate emotions?" Mike went on.   
John shook his head. "No. Or at least not in the way we needed here." This greatly relieved Mike, although everything else about the current situation was weird and disturbing.   
"Why did Emily exist?" he asked. "I mean, aside from her obvious function."   
"For various reasons. Among other things, to satisfy your needs when Erin is unavailable or unattractive to you due to pregnancy or similar circumstances."   
"That's pretty perverse."   
"You are the only male A-level available to this mission. Atreus needs you- best of all, happy and content."   
"I'm not a stud!" Mike exclaimed, but despite his indignation, he turned red under John's scrutiny.   
"You've slept with so many women, and now you suddenly mind if we want the same of you?"   
Mike didn't know what to say.   
"Matt can be a carrier if you actually have a problem with it, but you should get used to the idea."   
"Carrier for..." As Mike lacked the words, he shook his head. Children were a chapter that he had pushed far away from himself; the thought that a dozen of them could be running around on Atreus caused nauseous dizziness.   
"Lie down," John finally said. "We don't have time to discuss the entire mission."   
Mike had lost all desire to talk back, so he lay down on the bed and made himself comfortable.   
"Close your eyes and imagine what Matt is doing right now."   
Inwardly, Mike rolled his eyes, but at least he tried. Almost immediately he felt split in two, lying and not lying, standing and not standing. John's voice was very close and at the same time far away, the world was spinning and then he stood in the kitchen, listening to Erin's footsteps from above and ordered a tea for her from the terminal.

~

"Good morning," Erin was greeted before she even got down the stairs. Mike took a cup from the order terminal and passed it across the kitchen island towards her.   
"Thank you..."   
There was a fine smile on his face as he watched her, and she lowered her eyes to her cup.   
"It was John back there, wasn't it? What did he want?"   
"Explained to me the procedure for the ship. We take robots there, and then we help find the problem."   
She nodded. John had a base, as is usual with androids, around which the range of action extended, but in his case that base was embedded in the station so he was unable to leave it.   
"All right," she said after a few sips of tea. "Let's get on with it, then."

An exhausting discussion with Vee about suitable clothing later, Erin and Mike loaded various robots onto a small truck parked in the station garage.   
Erin sighed. "Do you think the robots can handle it on their own? After all, we're not technicians."   
"John gave me a signal booster. With it we should be able to talk to him even inside the ship," Mike replied, heaving a strange metal box onto the loading area. He groaned softly, then took a step back and nodded at her. "Suit up and let's go."   
"Do I even have one?" She wanted to know, and pulled up her shoulders a little uncomfortably.   
"Good question. But I'll bet John has provided a replacement." He smiled encouragingly and she nodded slowly.

In fact, Mike was right, but she would have been very surprised to hear the opposite. She had no idea what John knew or did, but he was definitely not just a research assistant.   
When the helmet's safety catch clicked into place, she pushed the doubtful thoughts away.   
"We should try to pick up the jeep on the way back," Mike then said. "But I'm afraid we'll need robotic help for that."   
"Well, if you usually only pick up women, a jeep is sure to be a problem," she mocked and grinned at him as they entered the garage again.   
"Pah. I'm not a mechanic."   
"Me neither, so what?" She shrugged and he stuck his tongue out before they both swung into the truck. She was careful not to mention that this vehicle was too big for her liking to drive, so she started the engine instead.   
When she rolled into the airlock with much more caution than probably necessary, Mike promptly asked:   
"Can you drive the truck?"   
"Unless you have a strong desire to drive it yourself, I just will." She shrugged briefly. "It's not like we got a six-lane highway ahead of us."   
"No, but there's plenty of rocks."   
"Are you seriously implying that I wouldn't be able to follow a road?" Annoyed, she stepped on the gas.   
"You never know," he returned cautiously.   
She gave him a scowl, but she knew the look on his face very well. Her father had always looked like that, too, when he let her mother take his place and then lovingly teased her. Her anger faded.   
"Oh, just shut up..." she muttered half-heartedly and then they remained silent until she parked the truck in the spaceport.

~

After just over three hours of waiting for diagnostic runs and minor tests by the robots, John said:   
"The damage pattern is typically caused by radiation damage. The ship must have passed near a radiation cloud."   
"So close to Earth that the crew was still awake?" Mike asked skeptically.   
"That's quite possible."   
"If the ship just grazed the cloud, I don't even want to know what would have happened if it had gone right through it," Erin said, glancing at a small robot squeaking and sucking in a cable from a shaft like a human eating spaghetti.   
"Then we wouldn't have to bother to repair the life-support system," John returned.   
She made a face.   
"Can you bring the Jeep back?"   
"The metal part that caused the accident must be removed somehow," Mike replied slowly.   
"Use a construction robot. Are the axes all right?"   
"I don't know..."   
"Do what you can."   
"Sure..." Erin rolled her eyes and stomped off.   
"What's wrong?" Mike wanted to know and caught up.   
"The android drives me crazy sometimes."   
Mike smiled. "Unlike my dad, John's not so bad."   
"Yeah, but you've been able to avoid your dad."   
"That's right. But he was a master of indirect threats and orders. One of his favorite phrases was: _"Just a subtle hint"_. Which, for mere mortals, meant _"Do as I say."_ "  
She gave him a quick sideways glance. "Do you mind if I say I'm glad I never have to meet him?" Her own loving dad was a thousand times better.   
"No, not really. But he would have liked you," Mike replied after a moment's thought.   
"He would?"   
"You're a very attractive woman and with a bit of make-up and a sparkling evening gown, he'd have listened to you long enough to realize you were intelligent."   
She snorted.   
"But then it would have taken me a while to make him realize that he couldn't have you," Mike added, audibly amused.   
"Tsk..."   
"Come on, why would I have introduced you to my dad?"   
"On Earth, we never would have met," she pointed out.   
"Yeah..." he said stretched. He sounded like the thought was unpleasant, and she shook her head.   
"That robot there should be enough, shouldn't it?" she then changed the subject and pointed to one of the remaining robots on the back of the truck.   
"I think so. The piece of metal somehow got wedged under the jeep. If the robot can somehow cut it away, that's enough."   
"He should be able to."   
They got back in the truck and Erin slowly steered it to the Jeep. When they had passed it earlier, she hadn't paid any attention to it, but now she put the truck carefully in front of it.   
"Well, let's see..." She got out and inspected the jeep. Except for the piece of metal that was stuck between the car and the ground, the left front tire had burst when it hit the rocks and was bent in the axis. "Looks like we're gonna have to roll the jeep on its rear wheels anyway." When she turned to Mike, he shrugged and swung onto the back of the truck to bring down the still inactive robot.   
"What was going through my mind right now was more the question of how to get the truck and jeep through the airlock together," he said, pushing the robot to the edge of the loading area before jumping back down himself.   
"Not at all." Erin shook her head. "The jeep has to go in alone."   
He nodded and lifted the robot to the ground. "John, can you give our friend here instructions?"   
"Sure."   
The robot pulled out of its own chassis some kind of jack and went to work.   
Erin kicked with a boot against the bumper of the jeep and said: "A robot needs to push and one of us tries to steer it. It's the only way to do it."   
"You think so?" Mike asked skeptically, crossing his arms in front of his chest.   
"Yeah." She kicked the bumper again and like in a bad movie, the hood popped open. "How much do you know about cars?" she asked.   
"I can drive," he replied simply.   
She denied any comment.   
At that moment it screeched metallically as the robot started working on the piece under the jeep and she leaned against the truck, waiting.

~

Sighing, Erin let herself fall on the couch. After they had brought the jeep back to the garage, she had spent half the day driving back and forth between the station and the spaceport, either because some parts were missing, had to be specially made or because a special robot had to do the job.   
Now, after a big plate of baked potatoes and fish and a hot shower, she closed her eyes for a moment and wrapped herself in one of the fluffy blankets. But the quiet moment did not last long.   
"Would you like some?" Mike suddenly asked beside her.   
She opened one eye and accepted the teacup with a grateful nod.   
He sat down across the corner in an armchair and when she had taken a careful sip, he asked: "Can I ask you a question?"   
She sighed inwardly. "You one, me one."   
He nodded. "Okay. Do they know why Ben did this?"   
She made a face. "No. There was absolutely nothing noticeable about him. A blank, pure white sheet of paper."   
"But he couldn't have been thinking out of the blue _Oh, I'm gonna kidnap a few teenagers today_," Mike replied thoughtfully.   
"Of course not. But many people are very good at hiding behind a mask or faking their whole appearance. The more psychopathic you are, the more successful you are." She shrugged a little helplessly, and he nodded slowly. "What did you find in your file that bothered you so much?" she now asked her question.   
"Memories. In the form of pictures," he replied simply, rubbing his left upper arm a little unconsciously. "It's one thing to know you're no longer like nature made you, but to see it..."   
"But you know the prostheses with no skin on them."   
"Yes, but... I mean... without those things." He wiggled his fingers and gently she touched his arm where he had stabbed himself with the knife to show her the bluish glow beneath it.   
"You look real. You feel real. So you are real." It sounded a little corny, but it worked.   
He nodded and a faint smile flitted across his face.   
She leaned back and took a sip of tea in anticipation of the next question.   
"You are incredibly good at close combat. Why didn't you fight back?"   
For a moment she just looked into her cup, then slowly said: "I didn't want to fight Ben, it wouldn't have done any good and I wanted to protect the girls." She had hoped the subject was closed. "As for you... at that moment I was somehow just the girl next door getting hassled by a co-worker." If she was honest, she probably couldn't have pulled her gun if he had tried to kill her. And if she was even more honest, she had to admit she wouldn't have wanted to hurt him either. She bit her lip, but he seemed to be able to live with the explanation, so after a brief pause, she aske:   
"Are you afraid of death?"   
"Yes." The answer came promptly. He looked a little thoughtful, but just shrugged at her glance. "It's a bit silly, after all there's no one who'd miss me, I have nothing and I've done nothing, but having met Death once before was enough for me." After a short hesitation he added: "Atreus and the eternal youth have twisted the probabilities a little anyway, but all in all I can still say that I would like to take my time with dying."   
"But even if you weren't here, you could have taken your chances. Not every soldier dies in war. Probably you would have met this one special woman at some point and become a loving family father," she mused.   
"You see the world too pink." He shook his head. "If I had come back from the war, my family would still have forced me into the company and introduced me to the daughters and granddaughters of some business associates in turn."   
"That's medieval. You have free will."   
"You know, traditions and education can be pretty overwhelming. I ran away once, but I don't know if I could have done it a second time." He sighed deeply and she felt pity. But before she could say anything, he asked:   
"Why did you join the Atreus mission?"   
"Because I ran away."   
"From what?"   
She let out a small laugh. "Everything. Ben, my ex-boyfriend, my family, myself..." She looked up at Mike. He nodded at her barely perceptibly, but she lowered her gaze back into her teacup before she explained: "I don't really know for sure. I just wanted to leave. But without a real opportunity I probably would never have left. And when I was invited to the selection process for Atreus, I just said yes." She licked her lips. "I knew they'd build up fat files on all of us, but our new colleagues would never see them. So I closed a door behind me, put on a smile and tried to be the Erin I wanted to be."   
"And who's sitting in front of me now?" He asked quietly after a moment.   
"Whatever resulted from the merging of the two, I think." She shrugged and looked up.   
"No mask?"   
She shook her head.   
"I think I like the result." He smiled and she lowered her eyes with a blush. To change the subject, she asked the next question.   
"Do you regret coming here?"   
It took so long to get the answer that she finally lifted her gaze again.   
"No." He looked at her intensely and honestly, and an uneasy feeling came over her. He pressed his lips briefly together, then added: "I certainly don't agree with everything that's happening here"- his fingers made a minimal all-encompassing gesture- "but I don't regret it." Immediately he followed with his next question: "Do you think you can be happy here?"   
She looked at him in surprise. _Can I?_ But before she could bring herself to answer in whatever way, he stood up.  
"Think about it," he said gently and left.   
She watched after him for a while. What exactly was he trying to tell her?

Thoughtfully she looked through the panorama window at Atreus until the sky turned black and sparkled from the sea of stars. The two Atreus moons slowly moved on their paths, and she still didn't know whether and how she should answer the last question.   
Until recently she had liked her life on the station. But now she was introduced to a man with whom she was obviously supposed to start a family. As for Mike, she could have been worse off, but without an emotional background she didn't want to raise children. In fact, the thought of having children with him killed any interest in sleeping with him at all, although she suspected that the idea was a welcome excuse for him.   
Or was she doing him wrong and he was secretly glad that he could just give up his restless life and easily get what he longed for deep down?   
In any case, this did not answer the initial question, although her idea of happiness certainly included a family of one's own. But under the given circumstances, could she even bring herself to try it with Mike?   
The cat was chasing its own tail...

~

Erin slept and looked like a baby angel with chubby cheeks and a pouty mouth.   
Mike could not help smiling and reached out to wipe a strand of hair from her forehead.   
"Michael."   
He blinked and reached for nothing. "Hmm?"   
John appeared in his vision and he moaned softly.   
"Your timing is stunning, as always." He covered his face with his hands.   
"I am here to remind you that you are human and must eat and drink." The android held out a glass of water to Mike, which he took and drank slowly.   
_"Do you think you can be happy here?"_ He wasn't sure if he could answer the question himself; he wouldn't even have asked it if he'd actually been there.   
"You must eat something."   
"Must I?" He mumbled and looked up at John, who held a tray out to him.   
"Yes. You must."   
Mike sighed and accepted the tray. A plate of paella and a bowl of chocolate mousse laughed at him. Even though he'd been lying around all day, he was hungry - just without will to eat. Listlessly he shoved the first spoon of rice into his mouth and then asked: "Are you satisfied with what Matt has done so far?"   
"He made her think. That's a start."   
Skeptically, Mike narrowed his brows, but he said nothing. His own impression was rather that Erin was by no means open to an approach, but he certainly didn't want to argue with the android about his personality statistics. It was bad enough that such analyses even existed.   
"How long is this gonna go on?" he asked a few bites later.   
"We'll see," John replied vaguely.   
Well, _seeing_ was probably the right word...


	17. 11.03. - Day 20 - Red as a ruby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Red as a ruby" - "Rot wie ein Rubin" from "Rot wie die Liebe" by Eisbrecher

A little tense from a night on the couch, Erin went downstairs after her morning ritual.   
Mike was sitting on a stool by the kitchen island, a drunken coffee cup in front of him, a small tablet in his hand.   
"Good morning."   
"Good morning. Ready for the new day?" He half turned to her and smiled happily.   
"Why?" She asked back and ordered breakfast.   
"John sent us a message. We're to pick up one of the robots for repair."   
"Well, if that's all…" She shrugged. "When does he think the work will be completed?"   
Now it was Mike's turn to shrug. "I don't know. Ask him."   
"I'll pass." The terminal was pinging and Erin kept standing while she spooned up her cinnamon corn flakes. Mike put the tablet down after a moment and for a second they looked at each other thoughtfully. But before she could lose herself in the same whirl of thoughts as the night before, she lowered her eyes to her breakfast. The cornflakes became mushy far too quickly as usual.   
Mike stood up and put his cup in the terminal's dish return, where it disappeared with a smacking sound.  
  


They went about their daily task quite silently, but Erin didn't mind. There wasn't much to talk about either - after all, they'd been sitting in the station for three weeks, just the two of them.   
By the time they finally delivered the robot, Erin felt like a quick shower again. Mike nodded at her and sat down at the game console, but also seemed rather listless. So she jumped into the shower and after watched him play for a moment. When he lost, he sighed quietly.  
"You can't win 'em all," she remarked and shrugged. Although it hurt and she tried to stretch, which only hurt more.   
"You don't have to." He replied in the meantime, putting the controller aside. He looked up at her and said: "Do you need a massage?"   
An aggressive rejection arose in her and surprised her herself. A massage would have done her good, but there was something about Mike that made her shake her head. "Maybe later," she added, tempering her words, and he nodded.   
"Suit yourself... wanna play a game or two?" He waved the controller.   
"Don't bother..." For a moment, a heavy silence hung between them. "I'll go on looking after my wardrobe."   
"Do that..."   
She nodded thoughtfully and walked slowly to the closet where she activated Vee.   
"Oooooh... you know what else you don't have?", she was greeted happily.   
"Tell me."   
"Dresses!"   
"Vee...I don't like dresses."   
"Oh, come on! For the garden party, cocktail party, opera, family reunion-"   
"None of that takes place here at Atreus," Erin critically interrupted the overzealous clothes printer.   
"So what? There's nothing wrong with a well-stocked closet."   
Erin couldn't think of a counter-argument, so she let Vee's babbling cheer her up. Only in her underwear, she tried on the holo-projector all the cruelly colorful or over-the-top creations Vee presented her with.   
"No pink. No glitter. No jewels either. Vee, this is pink."   
"It's not!"   
"But almost, so no. No, too much tulle. Too much cleavage. I look like a cream tuff!"   
"But soooo cute!"   
"Vee!"   
"Ouh... please!"   
"No! I won't wear this. Too much lace. No waterfall neckline. And neither is that belt thing. Too orange. Too brown. Too dark. No. No. No. Just no."   
Vee sighed annoyed. "You don't like anything."   
"I told you, I don't like dresses," Erin returned, grouchily eyeballing the sparkle of the Mermaid-style aubergine-colored dress, in which she would probably not be able to climb a step, let alone get out of a car.   
"May I have a go?" Mike, with an amused undertone, suddenly interfered. Surprised, Erin turned around. Smiling, he leaned in the doorway and had his arms crossed in front of his chest.   
"What? To find something I like?" she asked a little belatedly.   
He nodded and came closer without another answer. Then he turned the printer's control panel to the side so Erin couldn't see what he was setting. Vee beeped enthusiastically and after a short buzz, spat out a big hair clip, which Mike passed on to Erin. Skeptically, she put her hair up and looked at him with a skeptical stare. Then a new dress slowly built up around her. It was a white A-line with an excessively wide skirt and a throw-on of cream-colored lace that covered the décolleté, formed long sleeves and ended in a train.   
"This..." she said amazed, "is a wedding dress."   
"Do you like it?" With a fine smile, Mike stepped behind her and tugged a strand of hair back down so it hung next to her cheek.   
"Yes... but I'll never wear anything like that."   
"Why not?" he wanted to know.   
"Well... it's white. White stands for virtue, purity and innocence. And it doesn't suit me," she replied critically.   
"What color would you prefer?"   
"Dark red."   
Vee felt addressed and changed the color immediately. Now the dress made Erin smile.   
"Red like a ruby."   
Slowly, Mike brushed the fingertips of his left hand through the holo-projection over her shoulder before extending his right hand past her hip. "Like this?"   
Irritated, she looked down at his hand. There lay a pair of rings in matte gold, each with three small rubies embedded in it.   
"Would you-"   
"No."   
"But-"   
"No. I will certainly _not_ marry you." With a jerk, she turned to him, gave him a scowl and pushed herself past him to redress. "Just because we're stuck here together doesn't mean I-"   
"You might as well listen to me first."   
"Thanks, pass." As she pulled a sweater over her head, her hair clip got stuck and she cursed quietly.   
"Erin..."   
"No." She just looked over at him for a second, but that was enough to bring up the oddly aggressive feeling.   
Where was the safety she usually felt around him?   
Where was that sense of security when he smiled so softly at her?

~

Mike's hand closed around the rings, but his clenched fist was empty. The discrepancy between him and Matt was so severe at that moment that the connection broke by itself. Coughing, he crouched on his side, breathing was difficult and when he finally got his breath back, it took him a few more minutes to regain control of his body.   
"Bastard...", he murmured, hit the pillow and came staggering to his feet. He cursed for a while until his head was clear again, then he went into the bathroom unsteadily. The cold water on his face felt good, but it wasn't enough to cool his anger. Pale and unshaven, his reflection stared at him.   
How could an android pass as a human for so long? How could Erin not notice?   
He pulled up his sweater and looked at the piercing. The skin around it was a little swollen and when he touched it carefully with his right hand, it hurt. Still he tried to unscrew the tiny ball with a cramping bent hand, which didn't work- as expected because John had screwed it on too tightly. He cursed again and pulled the sweater down. Slowly he approached the room door, but already at a distance of two meters the door frame lit up red and starting from the piercing a fine buzzing spread through his body.   
Somehow he felt pretty stupid. He had made one stupid decision after another and now he was sitting here and was in a mess.   
_But if I could turn back time, how far would I go? Would I really want to go through all that school shit again?_   
Depressed, he dropped on the bed and waited.  
  


"Obviously this didn't meet your expectations," he was later greeted by John.   
"Bastard! How dare you-"   
"That doesn't fit any of the existing definitions."   
Mike had got up in a rage and now blinked at the android in a slightly irritated way. "I don't give a shit what applies to you and what doesn't! Matt fucked up!"   
"I wouldn't say that." Cool John looked at him and put the food tray on the table.   
"Oh. What do you call Erin's reaction then? How am I supposed to fix it?"   
Either John had no answer or he didn't want to answer.   
Mike was boiling. He couldn't even deactivate John because _"We've been beyond that state for a while now."_   
They looked at each other for a moment, then John pulled a little phone or something out of his pocket, tapped it, and then handed it to Mike.   
"Marriage is the crowning achievement of a relationship, isn't it?"   
Mike picked up the phone and almost flabbergasted he raised his eyebrows. "This is a marriage certificate. I never signed anything like that. I... I wasn't even _awake_ at the time."   
John smiled his fine smile. "Something everyone knows you can't hide."   
"What do you mean?"   
"Well, your circumstances speak their own language. And even though your last name remains unimportant, it's there for all to see. That alone is a sign, if you don't want to wear it."   
"So you want us to play the happy couple on the outside...?" Mike asked slowly.   
"Oh, I don't want you to _play_ it. I want you to be one."   
"You know, John, there's a problem. It's called Matt, it's an android, and it just made Erin extremely mad at me." He glared at John, also very mad. "I would never have put together that kind of kitsch!"   
"No, because you would never have the courage to actually engage yourself. You fell in love with her all by yourself, so stand by it. Tell her, show her, carve it into the rocks for all I care! But make sure she has at least one child by you!" The violence of John's words left Mike speechless. "Without children, she's worthless. There are other A-level women on Atreus you can turn to," John then added almost gently, making what he said even more threatening.   
Mike licked his sudden dry lips with trepidation.   
"I have finished the robot repair and will now make an analysis of Erin's unexpected behavior." The android turned around and left.   
A little late, Mike opened his mouth. "What the hell...?" He took an almost staggering step backwards and then slowly went into the bathroom to pour cold water on his face again. But it didn't help. The rather strange idea of sleeping with Erin through Matt's eyes - basically like in a daydream - just turned into a nightmare.   
He blinked at his dripping mirror image, it blinked back in disbelief.   
Angrily he slammed his fist at it and flinched back in surprise as the wafer-thin mirror shattered brightly under the impact.   
Blood ran down his hand. The sight reminded him that he was breathing, living, loving... and that a machine stood in his place.   
"Red as a ruby," he murmured bitterly.


	18. 12.03. - Day 21 - I'm not fathered, but made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not fathered, but made"- "Bin nicht gezeugt, sondern gemacht" taken from "Ebenbild" by Saltatio Mortis

Erin and Mike had avoided each other for the rest of the day and he had slept on the couch. But he didn't look much like it when she saw him sitting at the kitchen counter with a reader in his hand and an empty coffee cup beside him. He looked like he had just showered and shaved, although she had just been in the bathroom and there was nothing to indicate that he had done either of those things. He briefly raised his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched to a minimal smile she didn't return. Instead, she took his coffee cup, put it in the dish return and ordered breakfast for herself.   
Waiting, she leaned against the terminal and looked at Mike, who had turned back to the reader. His breakfast consisted of sweet coffee and a huge portion of something, usually some kind of omelet. Even though the food was only made of nutrients and brought into shape, it tasted and smelled like real food, but the smell of crispy bacon was missing. And she couldn't remember seeing him having breakfast yesterday. Well, yesterday he had been awake before her as well, but he had been sitting there almost exactly the same way and _ping!_   
The terminal ripped her out of her thoughts. "Has John given a word?" she coolly wanted to know and took her cereal and tea.   
"No," Mike replied and drove his fingers through his hair in a slightly annoyed gesture.   
"Hmm." she then made indefinite and started eating. An uncomfortable silence arose and slowly the strange feeling crept up in her again, without the aggressive undertone, but it was enough to make her feel uncomfortable.   
"Do you think we can leave the house?" she wanted to know and put the empty bowl down to have a sip of tea.   
Irritated, Mike looked up. "Why not?"   
"I don't know. I feel kind of locked up."   
"This is our home..." he said slowly and she grimaced.   
"A golden cage?"   
He shrugged. "That is your perception."   
She turned away. Something was wrong here. "I'm gonna go to the gym."   
"Do that," he said quietly, out of the corner of her eye she saw him nodding.

The situation was confusing, it had been from the beginning, but now the confusion twisted to an extreme in itself. After they had spoken to each other, something had changed. Of course, that was in the nature of the subject in itself, but that alone was not the point.   
Mike hid himself and his mental scars behind his sense of humor and his reputation as a playboy, but she had seen the troubled waters beneath the surface, full of things that didn't match his outward image. The question-and-answer game gnawed at her. She had no doubt that he had been honest, but there was more than just curiosity behind his questions.   
As she ran on the treadmill, she searched for a suitable word. Calculation? Perhaps.   
And then the wedding dress with the rings - that was completely out of the ordinary when she looked at it with a little distance. Even if he perhaps _really_ felt deep inside the desire for a wife and child, this was simply not the right approach.   
And if he just didn't know any better?   
She wiped her forehead with a sweatband. No, it wasn't that. She couldn't explain why she suddenly felt so different towards him, why she suddenly didn't feel safe with him anymore. Under these circumstances, it would be quite unpleasant to fill the children's rooms with life.   
Her dry laughter was more like an exerted gasp. Inwardly, she recalled the last days, individual scenes popping in front of her inner eye, like a recorded video. Her body continued to run by itself, while questions were accumulating in her head.   
Did I imagine this?   
Am I imagining it now?   
Was it really like this?   
Why didn't I stop at that moment?   
What irritated me in that second?   
She couldn't find a real answer, except one.   
The man sitting in the next room reading was not Mike.

~

As long as there was nothing to do and Erin was not interacting with him, Matt was in standby mode and that was incredibly boring. The two sentences she threw at him after her gym session and then over lunch were the highlight until late afternoon. Mike was hearing through Matt's extremely sensitive ears- or rather sensors? - as Erin and Vee discussed, but it was all incredibly frustrating because he couldn't move a muscle and Matt was actually still pretending to read, only moving from the kitchen to the sofa.  
The white fluffy carpet rustled.   
"Hey..."   
Mike looked up. "Hey..."   
Erin seemed tense and a little contrite. "Does your offer still stand? The one about the massage?"   
He looked at her with irritation for a moment. "Sure..."   
"I could use one."   
He put down the reader and made a very inviting gesture to the couch. "Then come here." She pressed a bottle into his hand, barely the size of his little finger, even with the lid on, and let herself fall on the couch with her back to him before taking off her anthracite sweater and straightening the barrette she had used to pin her hair together. Gently he pushed the straps of the black bra off her shoulders and she got goose bumps. As he carefully dribbled some of the oil into his hands, she said quietly:   
"Sorry. My reaction yesterday was a little... excessive."   
As he put his hands on her warm shoulders, the massage program in Matt's programming kicked in and Mike's head filled with movements, muscle names and a lot of stuff he didn't even want to understand. "It's okay," he said just as quietly. He felt her tense muscles under his fingers, the skin above it warm and velvety from the oil. "We all fight our demons in our own way."   
She snorted amused. "Are you my demon?"   
"Why not? With night-black hair and eyes as green as hellfire?", he asked back with an equally amused grave voice. Now she had to giggle.   
"The Archangel Michael has fallen. God is truly in need."   
He laughed back softly. "Lucifer obviously has a sense of humor when he sends an angelic demon to bewitch an archangel." His thumbs ran along her spine and she strained her back, more than he expected, and then she leaned her head against his shoulder and looked at him upside down.   
"This is called succubus."   
His hands slid over her skin, her ribs, her belly; half tickling, half caressing.   
"And the counterpart of it incubus, I know," he said slowly. Her lips curled into a mocking smile. His gaze scurried past her face, across her breasts, which were looking exceedingly nice right now. This was either a conversation of reconciliation or actually an invitation, but he pulled his hands back on her back.   
"Do you think John is ready for what comes out when these two get together?" she wanted to know, her voice a little rough through the stretched throat.   
"I'm not sure if _I'm_ ready for that," he returned and she laughed softly before she snuggled up against him backwards. "I can't massage you like this...", he protested, but still wrapped his arms around her. She laughed again, but this time it was tense. He knew this kind of laughter well. It was the laughter of a woman who wants to sleep with a man and doesn't know how to tell him; a little clumsy between embarrassed-cautious and willing-challenging, not knowing whether she should do it at all.   
In Erin's case, two other things were added, namely Ben and Mike.   
Mentally, Mike took a step back, but his hands, guided by Matt, caressed her skin with oily fingertips. In his arms she turned a little, her hair clip pressed against his shoulder, and she stretched her chin a little, her gaze half lowered. Slowly and hesitantly she raised her hand to his cheek. Very far away and yet very close, his heart began to pound, while he just as hesitantly brought his mouth closer to hers. Her lips opened and he felt the tension growing in her body. Her words were almost toneless.   
"Matt- deactivate."   
And the world went black.

~

When the android froze, Erin had to take a deep breath before she could wrench herself from his arms. A heavy shiver shook her and she quickly put her sweater back on. For a moment, she thought about putting a load of bullets into him, just like Emily, but as long as she didn't know how the real Mike was doing or where he was, it was best not to. She had been so preoccupied with herself that she had completely missed the fact that John had switched them- and that John was behind it was now out of the question for her. But why?

Mike was trapped in the blackness, disembodied, without control of anything. She understood!   
But the relief didn't last long, because his body awareness came back. A heart that beat violently and a chest that contracted. Pressure from all sides, plus the painful pounding of his heart that almost made his head explode.

Erin hurried down the stairs and ripped open the front door to her new home. But at the end of the passage, as she stumbled into the normal hallway, she paused. She had no idea where Mike might be.   
Chewing on her lower lip, she glanced down the hallway and thought, but before she could list the different possibilities, a red glowing lock caught her eye. The room had been Mike's until recently.

Mike felt his heartbeat everywhere, throbbing painfully in his head and up to his fingertips. The pressure on his chest became stronger and stronger.   
Breathe, damn it, you have to breathe!   
It was almost the biggest effort ever to take a deep breath.   
Breathe, damn it!   
Why was it so difficult for him to breathe? He exhaled and the next time he took a breath his mouth opened. The sound that escaped him could have been the sound of a horror movie. With great effort and concentration he tried to find a normal breathing rhythm, but he just couldn't; it took all his willpower to breathe at all.

"Mike!" Erin rushed towards the bed. Mike's whole body seemed to be completely cramped and he gasped for breath in agony. She knelt down next to him on the blanket and patted his cheek roughly. "Mike!"   
His lips quivered, his eyelids fluttered.   
"Mike! Come on, wake up!" The fear in her voice surprised her. Once again, she patted his cheek, felt relief at the real stubble under her fingers and ran her other hand through his hair, which was actually a little longer than Matt's. "Mike..."   
One strained breath followed the next. What had John done to him? Quiet despair took hold of her and two laborious breaths later she whispered:   
"Mike- activate."   
And his eyes opened.

Mike heard Erin, of course he did, but when he heard the activation command and his eyes opened he wondered why. He was human, he was alive. And suddenly breathing was no longer a pain and he blinked violently.   
"Mike?"   
"Here..." His voice was scratchy. When his gaze had finally focused, he saw a suspicious Erin sitting next to him.   
"What has John done to you?" she wanted to know quietly, with a dangerous undertone. Slowly, he raised his hands and rubbed his face.   
"He connected me with Matt. I have a brain implant, you know, and he connected it to him somehow. I was there the whole time, watching."   
"You..." Stunned she paused. "So you know what he's been up to?"   
He nodded. "And believe me, I did not like it." He looked briefly at his hand where the healing pad had fallen off at some point during the day; except for a few pink lines, there was nothing left of the cuts from the glass. "I can't just leave the room. You have to help me," he said then and she nodded slowly. While he pulled up his sweater to show her the piercing, he said: "John has some very strange ideas about how life here should be. Including personality assessments and behavioral probabilities."   
"Nothing unusual in itself..." she murmured and touched the piercing with cold fingers.   
"There's some sort of stun gun built into it," he explained.   
"Paralyzes you completely?" she asked.   
"Yes. And I can't walk without legs," he tried to joke, but he realized himself that this was a very pathetic attempt. Without any further comment and very carefully she removed the piercing and put it on the bedside table.   
"Can we go now?"   
He nodded and stood up, his feet carried him and when he went to the door there was no alarm.   
"Tell me what happened," she asked quietly and looked up at him. "Well, what else happened. Or what happened from your perspective." She seemed unsettled, but the suspicion was gone.   
"Can we please get out of here first?"   
"Sure." She nodded and wrung a smile from herself.

~

What Mike hadn't expected was that Matt stood next to the couch in his resting position and looked into the void. And what he hadn't expected either was Erin, who disappeared in the closet and came back with her gun.   
"Do you really think that's a good idea?"   
"Maybe not," she admitted, taking the safety off and aiming at close range. "But there's something very satisfying about it, don't you think?" She fired. Mike winced and smoke billowed out of Matt's forehead. It was a very scary feeling to see your own copy being shot at. When only the last bullet was left in the magazine, she paused, a malicious smile on her face.   
"Would you like a shot?" she asked and looked at him.   
"I'll pass." Refusing, he shook his head and without giving the android another look, she pulled the trigger.   
It was silent for a long moment, then she lowered the gun and secured it.   
"What are we going to do with him now?" he wanted to know and could barely stop himself from reaching for the bullet holes in Matt's body.   
"Trash is taken out," she said curtly and shrugged. "Although I'd love to drag him by the collar, but I'm afraid he's too heavy." With this she brought a smile to Mike's face.   
"Well... Heave-ho." Together they struggled to get the rigid Android down the stairs and in front of the front door and afterwards Mike was smeared with oily liquids. "Bah! Hopefully this will just come off," he grumbled as Erin slammed the door.   
"I'm sure it will." She said. He took off his also smudged sweater and wiped his hands on it.   
"Maybe I should just take a shower," he murmured and took a critical look at the still or again swollen nipple.   
"You promised to tell me your side of things."   
"Sure." He nodded at her. _Is it my imagination or is she actually much more relaxed than before?_ A cautious, almost shy smile crept up on his face. "I can shower and talk."   
She nodded and smiled in a cautiously restrained manner as well, before going up the stairs and into the bathroom.   
However, she sat down with her back to the shower. "So?"   
Mike just threw his clothes on a pile. "When John rang us out of bed early in the morning, he led me into the room where Matt was already waiting," he started, got into the shower cubicle and turned the water on. "He told me about the personality and behavioral analysis and said that after a conversation like that you would be open to ... romantic options."   
"And he thought a sex android would be perfect for that?" she asked skeptically.   
"Apparently yes. Besides, how would he have wanted to force me to do something like that?" he asked back - not that it really would have been force...   
"And why all this?" she wanted to know. "I mean, just because he puts us together here and hopes that one day, out of sheer boredom, a child will be born, doesn't mean you have to make a love relationship out of it."   
Mike sighed and held his face in the warm water. Suddenly he regretted having to shower and talk at the same time. "That's the catch to eternal youth," he said slowly. "Your body has lowered its fertility to the point where only a certain level of hormones can reactivate it. For example, when you are in love and wish for a baby."   
This obviously left her speechless, so much so that he finally turned around. Stunned, she looked at him. "So I have to fall in love with you?", she then asked emphatically and with raised eyebrows. Her skepticism had something dismissive about it and that hurt.   
"According to John, that would be the optimum. But as he explained to me, the androids can serve as transmitters, so probably every other man present here works as well..." He shrugged. Actually, he would have liked to soap himself thoroughly from top to bottom, but under her gaze he suddenly felt quite uncomfortable, so he turned off the water. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel when she quietly said:   
"Under the circumstances here, plans for further generations at Atreus are on pretty shaky ground."   
"Because...?"   
"Just because you love someone doesn't mean that you have to deliver a baby right away. Especially not in this environment."   
Sarcastically, he returned: "And I thought that love is crowned with marriage vows and children."   
"Is that why Matt made that horrible proposal?"   
"Yes and no."   
She raised an eyebrow.   
"The implant here," he tapped his temple, "actually made him a perfect copy of me. Inside, I mean. Every thought, every emotion, every action is stored in him. But that doesn't mean that he has to follow my patterns of behavior, and on top of that, he got orders from John. I would never have done such a thing."   
"I know that, I think..." she tilted her head a little and looked at him thoughtfully, but Mike calmly continued:   
"Actually, it was completely unnecessary. After all, John has already forged a marriage certificate."   
She blinked at him. "Excuse me?"   
"He showed it to me, Erin." A bitter note crept into his voice. "We are legally married to each other."   
Her mouth opened, but she quickly caught herself and pulled up the corner of her mouth. "So now I'm part of the Summer celebrity family?"   
He just nodded. "Looks like it."   
"Well... at least you have the better season to offer." She laughed insecurely and suddenly seemed quite overwhelmed. He crouched down in front of her and looked at her seriously.   
"John is here to achieve the great goal of the mission. But we- we humans- are more than just behavioral analysis."   
"I know." she said unhappily.   
"There you go. John wants us to be a happy family. Fine. I don't mind being the loving husband in his presence, but as long as you reject it in there," he touched her gently on the forehead, "it's perfectly okay if the charade stays outside our four walls." He was still not quite sure whether he could put into words what he felt for her, but he didn't want to put more pressure on her with his feelings. For she looked as if she was more than a little overwhelmed by the new facts.   
"What about you?" she promptly asked back. "I mean, if we are happy on the outside..." She searched for words.   
"I can't just get any woman into bed?" he finished the sentence and wrung a smile from himself. "There are still the androids," he added with a wink, but she saw that he wasn't serious because she put a hand to his cheek.   
"You don't have to lie to me, you know." She looked at him as if she was searching for something in his gaze. "The connection between you and Matt, how close was it?" she finally asked.   
"What do you mean?" he asked back, frowning.   
"I mean... I deactivated Matt and you looked like you had to remember that you are human and you have to breathe." She spoke slowly, as if the realization came to her in that very moment. "I practically reactivated you..."   
"I know." He lowered his eyes and swallowed. "But I don't know why."   
And Erin, all the cop, gently pushed his chin up. "No lies, Mike. Please."   
Now it was him searching for something in her eyes, maybe understanding. "The more I agree with Matt's actions, the closer the connection. So when he came up with the rings, it broke by itself." It was a simple statement, but what could be deduced from it was manifold. She had almost deactivated him - a human being - because at that moment he wanted nothing more than what Matt was doing. And she was intelligent enough to understand that. When the thoughtful silence between them became uncomfortable, he quietly remarked:   
"You certainly created an interesting situation to deactivate him."   
"I wanted to make sure it wasn't you," she said and licked her lips in embarrassment.   
"But you must have been sure of it already."   
"In itself, but..." She shrugged, her gaze lowered. "I felt uncomfortable in Matt's presence. Not safe. He even made me aggressive."   
Surprised, Mike looked at her.   
"But I wasn't really _listening_, I was too busy with my own thoughts," she continued. "It was quite an effort to let him touch me. And quite honestly - the real Mike wouldn't have been so offensive after what happened." She looked at him again.   
"...no," he said quietly.   
"But now you're back. And I feel safe again."   
This brought a smile to his face and he tried not to make it look sad. _No lies._ He wanted to tell her about the perfect match, but she didn't seem to have said everything yet.   
"I owe you one." That surprised him a little.   
"And what?", he asked confused. Again she raised her hand to his cheek; he suspected what was coming, but he didn't stop her. Instead, he laboriously suppressed the impulse to pull her to himself. Far too quickly the shy kiss was over.   
"That's what you wanted earlier." Her voice was little more than a whisper. He took a deep breath and then said:   
"You should only kiss a man if _you_ really want to. Not because _he_ wants to." With that, he got up and went to the closet to get dressed. As he was about to grab a sweater, Erin sighed behind him.   
"Listen, Mike, we're in this mess together and we have to be honest with each other," she said, sounding a little unhappy. He slipped into his sweater.   
"That's exactly why we're talking now, isn't it?"   
She shrugged and now it was his turn to sigh.   
"You know... I know why you feel so safe with me. I think."   
"Because?" she wanted to know.   
"I found a match-making table. For all the residents of the research station. A mating table, literally." He felt his mouth twitch in disgust and she frowned. "Everything that defines us has been included there. Our genes, our character, our wishes and opinions. Everything, Erin, _everything_. And you and I... we are the only perfect match."   
She had been leaning against the bathroom door, but now she looked like she was going to faint at any moment. "You... we... _what_?"   
He shrugged. "In theory," he said slowly, "we are the perfect couple."   
She blinked at him and then she smiled. Only the smile turned into a crazy grin and she started giggling hysterically.

If Mike was honest, he had seen it coming. Just too much had happened in the last three weeks and even though they had a lot of idle time, it wasn't enough to really process things.   
Erin had every right to break down. And she did.   
Though he himself didn't know where they stood either. What was supposed to happen with this... _chaos_. What it would become.   
He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, tell her that somehow they would find an acceptable solution, that they would come to terms with John. But he didn't do it because she wanted her peace and quiet and because he couldn't offer her a solution anyway. So he left her alone, tried to think himself and not get stuck on the idea that she didn't want him, while the rest of the day passed in eerie silence.

Wrapped in a thick blanket, Erin sat leaning against the large panoramic window and watched the moons rise and move, and Mike looked at her indecisively for a moment.   
"Erin...?"   
Slowly she turned her head and, slightly startled, he noticed the tear marks on her face. He cleared his throat.   
"You should eat something. And go to sleep. I bet John is pretty pissed off and since we are-"   
"I know." She nodded and got up, just left the blanket lying there and came a few steps closer before stopping and tilting her head. "Will you sleep with me?"   
"Excuse me?" he asked in amazement.   
"Earlier, you wanted to." She didn't sound anything like herself and that scared him.   
"That... that was something completely different," he said slowly and had the dull feeling that every other word would be wrong.   
"I think my body would enjoy it," she said bitterly. "Wouldn't it? Is that part of the principle of the _perfect match_?"   
Confused, he stared at her and she lowered her gaze before she passed him. Even without the distinct click of the bedroom door, he wouldn't have followed her, but nonetheless he stood there a little lost and stared at the door for a moment before turning away and collecting the blanket.

_"Do you think you can be happy here?"_   
He looked up at the moons and gritted his teeth.   
The answer was probably twice _no_.


	19. 13.03. - Day 22: Show me how to lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Show me how to lie" taken from "You're gonna go far kid" by The Offspring

The ringing at the "front door" tore Mike out of his sleep and probably out of a nightmare, because his heart was pounding in his chest and he was soaked with sweat.   
"Fuck...", he murmured and rubbed his face. He stumbled over the blanket, which had slipped halfway down from the couch, and when he reached the stairs down, not only did the doorbell ring again, but the bedroom door opened and Erin stepped halfway out. She looked the way he felt.   
"Morning," she mumbled, obviously in a slightly better mood than last night.   
"Morning," he replied carefully and walked down the stairs. It could only be John who rang the bell, and his patience was theoretically infinite.   
"What does that tin can want?" Erin asked tiredly and Mike sighed.   
"Let me ask him first." Moments later he opened the door and John looked at him, his face a blank mask.   
"Good morning," he said immediately and bowed his head slightly. "It is 5:30 and your first official day of work begins."   
"Will you be playing the official wake-up call every day from now on?", Mike wanted to know disgruntled and received a condescending smile in reply.   
"Of course _not_, Michael. But the spaceship is restored, all systems are running, the human remains have been thoroughly removed and the programming lets the passengers wake up at twelve o'clock sharp."   
"Marvelous." Mike lifted the corners of his mouth unnaturally - it almost hurt.   
John tilted his head again. "I expect that by then you will have awakened the station's residents and brought them to a... well, appropriate current level of knowledge."   
"How do you define _appropriate_?" Erin intervened from the background and Mike looked over the shoulder. A bitter expression lay on her face.   
"Ah, well, on that subject, I can put together a communiqué for you if that's desired," John said and his smile became more friendly. "By the way, I took the liberty of sending your printer the instructions for your new uniform."   
Mike just hummed in response and Erin didn't say anything either.  
John's smile shrunk again, he nodded and then turned around.   
Mike closed the door a little harder than necessary and then turned around.   
Erin sighed. "Well, at least we won't be alone anymore."   
He nodded. "I'm curious to hear what John will make us say. I mean, how much truth do we have to sweep under the rug?"   
She shrugged. "With three dead on the station and the obvious happenings in the colony, he can hardly make up a complete lie." She bit her lip and then turned away. "I'm going to take a shower."   
"Okay...," Mike said slowly and nodded, although she couldn't see it anymore. He went to the second bathroom and shaved quickly before he jumped in the shower. He thought briefly about the water consumption and the amount of recycling it required and then wrapped a towel around his hips, took another look in the mirror and was not satisfied with the sight. He looked tired, sure, but much too good for what he had done; he deserved to have the scars on his back also disfigure his face forever.

As he entered the walk-in closet, he heard the hissing of a hair dryer from the adjacent bathroom. On a chest of drawers there was a pile of clothes for him and he reached for it, because he had no choice anyway.   
Black underpants, black socks, white shirt. He was tucking the latter into his black trousers when Erin stepped through the door.   
Skin-colored bra, black hot pants, hair still a little damp. A fine redness crept up her cheeks when she noticed his look.   
"I'm sorry," he said and turned his gaze away, but not his posture.   
"What for?" she wanted to know and stepped to a dresser on her half of the closet.   
"A lot."   
She sighed. "Not now."   
His fingers closed the trouser button and zipper all by themselves. "I just-"   
"We literally have an eternity to talk. So not now," she interrupted him tense and slipped into socks, he almost didn't care that she was presenting her butt to him.   
"But I don't want to put everything off for an eternity," he returned. "Even good wine eventually turns to vinegar."   
She stepped into her trousers and closed them before she said: "Fine. When we get off work. We have more important things to do now."   
"Call me an egocentric, but what could be more important to me in this environment than myself?" In a questioning gesture, he spread his arms. She snorted, simultaneously amused and tired, and turned around. A strange smile lay on her face and she shook her head weakly as she looked at him. For a moment she seemed incredibly wise.   
"You look good," she said softly and reached for her blouse.   
Now it was him who snorted. "You're just saying that because I just called myself an egocentric."   
Her crooked smile deepened, the redness returned to her cheeks. "I'm serious. You're a good-looking man. Suit suits you."   
He wasn't sure how to respond, but that part of the conversation ended before he had made up his mind. Vee beeped.   
"Your shoes are finally ready!" The printer rumbled and spat out two pairs of shoes. Mike grabbed the ones that obviously belonged to him and held them into the light.   
"They look like I could show up at a fancy wedding in these."   
"Waterproof and with steel toecaps," explained Vee and Mike raised an eyebrow. He almost expected to find heels on Erin's shoes, but luckily not. "Steel toecaps? Who are we going to kick in the balls with them?" At the same time they crouched down to put them on.   
"The bad guys?", Vee chirped unconcerned and Erin sighed, but just said:   
"Do we have breakfast first?"   
"Sounds like a plan...", Mike returned and pulled the laces tight. As he straightened up, he felt like a cheap secret agent, because his eyes fell on their belts and holsters.

As the food terminal hummed, he asked: "How much truth do you think John will allow?"   
Erin shrugged and reached for the tablet lying on the kitchen island. "As far as Foster and the colony are concerned, I don't think we can get around the truth... ah, here. Wait."   
Patiently he waited as she read- apparently John's communiqué had already arrived.   
"He leaves us an astonishing amount of freedom. As I was saying, as far as Foster and the colony are concerned, we should play it straight."   
"Anything else would be hard to hide," Mike said and handed Erin her breakfast, which was ready first. "All we know, we told Pax and the colonists."   
Erin looked at him wryly. "John has practically complete control over all the data here. He could easily make it look like a stupid accident."   
"What for? Foster and Gus are dead, the mischief done. Nobody gains anything by it."   
"I'm just saying- he _could_, if he wanted to. Because Maisie's pregnancy should be kept quiet and her death should turn into an unfortunate implant malfunction."   
"Considering what this would mean to the people involved, I don't have a problem with the decision." Mike indicated a shrug and took his omelet with lots of cheese and bacon.   
Erin gave a consenting growl and nibbled on her bagel.

"Seriously? A tie?" Disgruntled, Mike picked up the black thing that had fallen out of his jacket when he tried to put it on.   
"Why not? Looks dashing." Erin twitched her eyebrows and tied her hair in a plain braid.   
"Yeah, but"- he tied the tie- "I'm not supposed to look _dashing_. I mean, it makes me look like a bouncer from an either very expensive or not very clean nightclub." He frowned and slipped into his jacket while Erin did the same. He closed the buttons and then, to his surprise, she came up to him to straighten the knot of the tie.   
"Whether we like it or not, but we represent a higher order here now," she said quietly and almost uncomfortably pragmatically. She looked up briefly before she brushed non-existent dust off his shoulders and chest. It reminded him of his childhood; back then, his parents had still maintained some kind of relationship and his mother had done just that every morning before his father went to the office. Strange how painful it suddenly hurt. And even stranger was how wrong it looked when Erin reached behind him and quickly attached the holster to his belt, the mini-notepad pocket, and finally the band with his security badge clicked into place. Then she took a step back and repeated the whole thing for herself before closing the buttons on her jacket.   
He watched her and felt completely out of place.   
"What is it?", she wanted to know and he shrugged.   
"You look... very professional. Dangerous."   
She smiled crookedly. "I do?"   
He nodded and resisted the urge to grab her chin and kiss her.   
"Well...", her grin faded and he got a very serious look, "with you I would now dive into a special mission without hesitation."   
"Why?" he asked and followed her as she left the walk-in closet.   
"Because I trust you. Because we are a good team," she explained seriously and he pulled a little face - it became a complete grimace when she added dryly: "We are a perfect match, aren't we? That probably refers to the professional level as well."

~

Dr. Andrea Schmidt's capsule hissed and Erin took a step back while waving Mike to leave the capsule room. The scientist was after all naked and they didn't want to frighten or embarrass her deeply. When she twitched and began to cough, Erin pushed the capsule lid open.   
"Dr. Schmidt? Can you hear me?"   
"Yes," she croaked and muttered a curse that Erin didn't understand, probably in her native German. "What the... What is... Why...?" Schmidt sat up and despite her confusion, she blushed deeply.   
Erin cleared her throat to illustrate her own embarrassment. "Would you like to put some clothes on immediately?"   
"Yes... I..." Schmidt seemed quite confused, and Erin helped her get up, supporting the older woman as she swayed and trembled and looked around in irritation.   
"Can you tell me what happened last?" Erin asked softly and Schmidt was shaking her curls, apparently stunned.   
"I had an argument with Matthew. The others went to sleep and... we wanted to wake up the new shift... and..." She broke off and staggered first a few steps toward the big scoreboard where Erin and Mike had lit up a big **EMERGENCY MEETING**, then in another direction that Erin couldn't interpret. She had no idea when or how, but John had emptied, cleaned and completely released Matthew Foster's capsule.   
"Dr. Schmidt...please get dressed," Erin then said gently but seriously. "We had to call an emergency meeting and we have to wake up all the residents."   
"But nobody is awake...," muttered the scientist, confused.   
"Well, you are obviously naked. We wanted to give you the opportunity to cover your bareness first."   
Schmidt nodded and held her head. "Damn antifreeze," she muttered and then slowly walked to one of the changing rooms.   
Worried, Erin looked at her, but then turned away and went to the main control panel. After a quick hand scan, the large control field appeared again, through which they had already woken Schmidt. In the list of active capsules, she selected all the women and initiated the awakening. Behind her the light changed and she took a deep breath before turning around. It would take about a quarter of an hour for the first ones to wake up, and she went to the door to get Mike in. Only- he was nowhere to be seen.   
"Mike?" She received no answer, and without hesitation she activated the comm. "Mike, where are you?"   
"We forgot something." He sounded sour.   
"Well, what?"   
"The rings."   
"The Rings?" Irritated, she blinked at the empty hallway before returning to the capsule room.   
"Our wedding rings. John sent me a critical reminder." He sniffed annoyed. "I got necklaces from Vee, we can put them on there."   
"Hmm." she agreed.

~

"Ladies, please remain calm!" Mike shouted aloud, as confused murmurs, soliloquies and loud questions arose, not a minute after the first dozen capsules had been opened practically simultaneously.   
"What does this mean, an _emergency meeting_?" someone asked aloud.   
"It means just _that_," Erin said, and Mike could hear, feel and see her mood swaying. "There have been a few unforeseen events and these make it necessary to wake up and inform the entire station."   
Something about her reminded Mike of a superior officer and he took a stance, his hands clasped behind his back - old habits were hard to break even though he thought about Matt for a moment.   
"Is it something bad?"   
"Are we in danger?"   
"Is the earth calling us back?"   
"How much time has passed?"   
"Please get dressed and then go to the dining hall," Erin said loudly, and a sharp undertone crept into her voice. "When everyone is gathered there, we will explain everything to you."

The women dressed one by one in the cabins and Mike could see the anxiety on the faces of his security colleagues - they had refused clearance for the weapons.   
"What's going on here, Mike?" Florianne wanted to know tense. Apparently, her curiosity outweighed her aversion to him.   
"You heard Erin," he replied and nodded in Erin's direction, who had just been addressed by Dr. Nadja Park - probably with the same question. "When everyone is assembled in the dining hall, we will explain it to you."   
Florianne looked at him critically. "How are you dressed anyway?"   
"Promotion, my dear."   
"Promotion. _You_."   
"Yes, me." He smiled at her with no joy. "I don't care if you recognize my genius or not, our superiors do."   
"God, Mike, chill out," Erin growled before Florianne could say anything. "He has his egocentric day today," she then added, turning to Florianne who snorted.   
"Just today?"   
Erin shrugged. "He has had his altruistic moments these past few weeks."   
"I am very changeable," Mike explained with a wink and Florianne rolled her eyes.   
"Above all you are very annoying."   
"You only say that because you can't find anyone to fuck."  
Now she treated him with a deadly look. "At least I have taste." She stalked away and almost - as if to fit - bumped into Dr. Penelope Severin, who gave Mike a short, downright longing look.   
He sighed quietly.   
"There seems to be more between you and Florianne than just dislike," Erin remarked and he sighed again, this time annoyed.   
"Of course the subject of sex comes up when you're crammed into a place like this. But I did not live up to her expectations."   
Two more women left the capsule room.   
"What kind of standards does she have?" Erin wanted to know and raised an eyebrow while she examined him. "Unused?"   
Oddly enough, that made him smile. "Who knows. You should escort our flocks slowly into the dining hall."   
She nodded and turned to leave, but he held her by the arm.   
"Be nice to them. We will have to bear them all for a while longer. Considering the cold sleep, even centuries." It was only when he said it that he realized how strange it actually sounded. Unfortunately, he was right.   
She pulled a face. "Somehow, stupid jokes suit you better than unpleasant truths."   
"Probably," he agreed with her and let her go, then he forced a smile on his lips. "But since you married me, I guess you love me with all my faults."   
Her nostrils flared, her eyes grew big, then she made a strange helpless gesture. "Obviously."   
And why exactly did he say that? He was not sure, because John's admonition had not been so poisonous that he had to overdo it.   
She kissed him on the cheek and hurried out.   
He looked after her when Natascha spoke to him.   
"Mike, you haven't seen Maisie, have you?" She raised an anxious frown and he thought about what Natascha and Gordon had done.   
"After the meeting in the dining hall, we can talk about Maisie," he said seriously.   
"So she is not here," she made a gesture referring to the capsule room.   
"No." As the last two women entered the changing cabins, which had been freed, he turned away and initiated the wake-up call for the male half of the station residents.   
"Mike..." Natascha tried again. "Mike, please, I'd like-"   
"Not now." He wasn't sure which word was appropriate for what she and Gordon had done to Maisie, but strangely enough it gave him some kind of outlet. "I know what you did, along with Gordon. So don't pretend you're really concerned about her welfare."   
Natascha flinched visibly. "What do you mean?" she asked flatly and he shook his head.   
"And you used to be an agent...?"   
She said nothing until the last women had left the room.   
He gave her a questioning look.   
"I want to wait for Gordon."   
"No. Go in the dining hall with the others."   
"But-"   
"Is it too much to ask that we respect the separation of the genders every now and then?" She made him angry and for a moment her smug smile from the secretly recorded video flashed before his inner eye. "Or a little respect in general?"   
"What happened here while we were asleep?" she wanted to know and a certain harshness returned to her whole attitude.   
"I'm your superior now, that's what happened." He had never wanted to be anybody's superior and it was frightening how a certain condescension flowed into his voice all by itself. Atreus had changed him- obviously for the worse.   
Natascha, however, nodded after a short hesitation, simply acknowledging his authority. Maybe she had been drilled on it, maybe she just gave in because she was obviously in the worse position. "Okay..." she said very quietly and left as if she had received a real order to do so.

~

Erin, outwardly uninvolved but inwardly extremely tense, leaned against one of the order terminals and watched the others. Small conversation groups formed, she got a lot of questioning looks, but nobody spoke to her. Among the first men who came in was Vincenzo.   
"Hey, hey..." Surprisingly cheerful he greeted her with a friendly slap on the shoulder.   
"Hey..." Her smile was actually almost completely honest.   
"Mike said a lot of stuff happened."   
"You could say that..." She bowed her head in agreement and he nodded thoughtfully. They looked at each other, their smiles each got a little forced. Vincenzo looked surprisingly fresh, quite the opposite of Dr. van Dijk and Michael, who more or less supported each other. Michael's blond curls were ruffled and Erin could see his hand shaking as he rubbed his eyes.   
Vincenzo gave an almost pitiful wheeze. "If I didn't know it was going to completely shatter my stomach, I would treat myself to a triple espresso with kick."   
"Triple espresso?" Erin grinned crookedly. "You better start slow."   
He made a face and nodded, rubbing his stomach and then typing around on the order terminal she was still leaning against. This was obviously like a signal, because small queues formed at the other two terminals- as if Erin was deterrent. Strangely enough, she could not bring herself to step aside.  
"Will you tell me how long I've been asleep?" Vincenzo then asked casually while the terminal hummed.   
"More than ten years." She could see that he was doing more than just frowning inwardly. She nodded a greeting past him to Arne, who showed his usual bad mood, and then Mike muttered in her ear about the comm:   
"I'm coming up with the last ones now."   
"Okay," she muttered back and Vincenzo's frown deepened for a moment.

As Mike entered, Erin took a few steps away from the terminal and straightened her posture- everybody was looking at her.   
"I'd like to ask you to sit down," she said aloud over the quiet, tense murmur.   
"We are not complete yet," the technician Maria said almost snottily and Erin shook her head weakly.   
"Everyone is here."   
Maria obviously swallowed another comment and Erin clasped her hands behind her back; Mike, who had stepped to her side, did the same.   
"You're talking," she muttered to him and briefly he grimaced. "You have more charisma."   
"Stop petting my ego," he muttered and then cleared his throat.

While Mike reported the events objectively, Erin observed the reactions. The shocked faces of Foster's colleagues didn't surprise her overly, though the almost bitter satisfaction on Nanami Tanaka's face when said shock disappeared did. But all the others also seemed - if not shocked - at least honestly dismayed. Natascha and Gordon held hands under the table and both lowered their eyes when Maisie came up; Wassili Vedernikov's bitter expression seemed to say that he actually had liked her very much.   
All in all, it was probably a little too much for most people; she could see some of them swaying in their seats as if they were about to faint.

"You have a little time to digest the shock now," Mike finally said. "In an hour, Pax will come by and answer any questions you may have from her side. Are there any questions _right now_?"   
It was quiet for two seconds, then a storm broke out and Erin yelled:   
"Hey, hey! We're not on the stock market here!"   
With a snort, Mike turned away and went to get a glass of water.   
"Nice and quiet and one after the other. Raise your hand if you want to ask something." A lot of hands shot up and Erin started with the ones whose names came to her mind right away.   
Many questions had basically already been answered, to some she didn't know the answers, to others she couldn't answer honestly for various reasons. She could see on some faces that certain questions would be more likely to be asked in private.   
"Dr. Connelly," she finally said when it was unavoidable. Alex Connelly was a greasy asshole and had in her first shift- oh no, already on Earth- made quite shameless advances towards her.   
"What about the androids?" he wanted to know and immediately followed up with: "I don't mean Jane and John. Ava."   
"The six... bedroom androids will be made available to all residents of the station in the next few days," Erin replied coolly, shuddering slightly under Connelly's gaze.   
Irritated murmurs from the technicians and securities.   
"There are eight of them," someone corrected her with a strange tone of voice and much sharper than intended, she said:   
"Six."   
Mike put a hand on her shoulder.   
"May I ask what happened to the other two?" Connelly wanted to know further, now a frown on his face.   
"Have been decommissioned following a malfunction," Mike said, and his voice didn't allow any objection. "In addition to the androids, also the saloon will be freely accessible to the entire research station. Arne?"   
"What about new shift schedules?", Arne wanted to know, quite the bureaucrat, who changed the subject unimpressed.   
"We are still working on that. Sascha?"  
"Where do we sleep in the meantime?"   
"The two emergency dormitories on the second basement floor have been reopened. We ask everyone to stay there until a current shift is determined. Once a shift is established, we will further request that couples share a room." Mike paused and nodded at Nadja Park and Steve Tennyson.   
"We've also decided that while technicians and securities will continue to work on a biennial basis, the scientists will have a much more open and project-based work service," Erin said, already much calmer. _John_ had decided to do this to increase the effectiveness of the station, after all they had lost ten years. After that there were positively surprised murmurs.   
"Michael?"   
"And what about you? I mean, _supervisor_ sounds kind of..."   
"Like prison, I know." Mike nodded and forced a wry smile on his face. "Mr. Black determined after what happened that there must be an authority capable of _immediate_ action."   
"Fair enough, but aren't you going into cryo-sleep?"   
"No."   
Stunned silence, then renewed muttering.   
"Anyone who wants to talk to us is welcome to do so in our office on the second floor," Erin now reinstated and Mike added, still addressing Michael directly:   
"We have our own housing unit." Something about the way Mike said this and the way Michael frowned at it irritated Erin, but Mike's pause to look at the clock was only brief. "At noon, the passengers of the spaceship are awakened. I need two persons who can drive the minibuses to pick them up."   
Reluctantly, a few hands were raised.   
"Zóltan and Lisa, okay." Mike nodded and then raised his hands. "I think that's it."   
A sigh went through the audience and he turned to Erin.   
"Are you going to stay with the pack here or are you going to greet the new Atreus residents?" he wanted to know and she sighed. After three weeks of relative calm, she was already fed up with all of this.   
"I would rather stay here. My last excursion wasn't that great..."   
He grinned crookedly. "I thought so. Pax should show up soon..."   
She nodded and rubbed her forehead. Now the rush to the terminals was already much greater and the artificial smell of artificially created food slowly filled the air. "Okay...", she said a little late. To her surprise, Mike gently lifted her chin.   
"It's all right, Erin," he said earnestly. "I'll talk to Zóltan and Lisa for a minute."   
"Do that." She nodded and he walked away while she left the dining hall. Primarily to escape the babble of voices, but if someone had asked her, she would have just wanted to greet Pax.

"Erin?" Michael's deep, strangely worried voice made her turn around. He didn't seem quite so groggy anymore.   
"Hey..." She nodded to him with a narrow smile. Hesitantly, he came closer and tugged at his shirt - they had provided everyone else with plain civilian clothes, and although the standard stuff seemed strict and deliberate, it had something reassuring about it.   
"I... I'd like to get on the first shift," he said slowly and she raised her eyebrows in astonishment.   
"Why?" But the way he looked at her with his head slightly tilted was answer enough. For him, they had just ended their pseudo-relationship yesterday. For her, the last three weeks since her awakening felt like a whole shift.   
"I'd like to spend some time with you," he said cautiously and then gawked blatantly at Pax, who came into view at that moment. Erin raised a hand in greeting, Pax waved back and then entered the dining hall. Michael remained silent in amazement until Mike came out with Lisa and Zóltan - he looked at Mike strangely and then cleared his throat.   
"Really, I... um..." He was obviously jealous and that without any kind of confirmation that there was something between Erin and Mike. This was so absurd that Erin laboriously reduced her overstrained grin to a smile. She wanted neither one nor the other.   
"We'll go," Mike shouted and she nodded at him and the other two.   
"Erin...", Michael started again and she sighed.   
"We'll see if you can get on the first shift," she said calmly. "But anything else... no."   
Disappointed, his shoulders slumped a little. "Okay..." He licked his lips. "You and Mike...?"   
"This is private."   
"Nothing here is really private," he murmured back and she made a face- she knew it all too well. Nevertheless, she said as softly as she could:   
"Lie down a bit, you look terrible." For old times' sake, she almost raised a hand to stroke a curl from his forehead, but when Vincenzo, Arne and Florianne stepped out into the hallway, she let it go.   
"It's a good idea," said Michael quietly and reminded her again of a faithful puppy. He walked away and she put her hands in her trouser pockets, at the same time wringing a crooked answer-smile for Vincenzo.

Erin was more than a little happy that no one else approached her and the majority retired when the new residents arrived, who, as one might expect, were themselves groggy and a little overwhelmed by the situation. The many unfamiliar faces gathered in the dining hall and a few of the others, who were trying to establish a daily rhythm, met there for lunch. Mike showed up with the last group and then they presented together a very short version of what had happened here. Erin knew that the newcomers would also be thoroughly screened genetically and then given the stuff that would change their lives and aging. It would be months before most of the inhabitants would sleep peacefully in the capsules.

"I don't want to annoy you, but-" Arne began, as soon as the meeting was officially over.   
Erin looked at him annoyed. "Can't you keep your head down like everyone else for a while?"   
"It's about the shift schedule. Listen, I've got-" With a lot of gestures which one would classically expect from a Mediterranean European rather than a Scandinavian, Arne started talking. But she couldn't really listen to him, because she saw directly over his shoulder how Mike was addressed by a pretty black-haired woman. Something about her irritated Erin. By trying to concentrate on Arne, she didn't hear the beginning of the conversation, but then she heard Mike say quite clearly:   
"You look like your mother."   
"Funny, everyone else always tells me I look like my father," the woman returned with a wink and Erin blinked in amazement. Now that it was mentioned, it was clear: the woman looked amazingly similar to Mike. Had one of his adventures left a child behind?   
Pissed off because she wasn't listening to him, Arne pulled her attention back. "This is _important_," he said seriously and she nodded, but before she could answer, Mike waved her over.   
"We'll talk later..." she muttered apologetically to Arne and stepped up to Mike who put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him.   
"This is my wife Erin." He had said it. In public. Erin's stomach tightened up. If Arne hadn't left immediately, he must have heard Mike's words.   
The woman's face twitched before she smiled politely - Erin could clearly see how little she wanted to.   
"Erin, this is Delilah. Our niece."   
"_Niece_?", Erin squeezed out, automatically shaking Delilah's hand.   
"I told you about my brother Jake and his girlfriend"- _mentioned_ was more accurate- "and that they announced the pregnancy right before we left. I'm not even sure I managed to congratulate him."   
With a feeling as if she was watching herself, Erin looked from Delilah to Mike. Even his smile was not 100% real. All this fake around her, all the half-truths and polite and nice facades...   
"Well... nice to meet you," Delilah said a little stiffly and Erin nodded. Smiling almost hurt.   
"Likewise." She was dizzy and looked back at Mike. "I'm gonna go take care of the shift schedule or Arne will have a stroke soon."   
He nodded and let his hand slide from her shoulder along her back - a loving, intimate gesture she would have loved to run away from. "Okay, I'll be right behind you."

~

As Mike entered their apartment, Erin was pushing an empty cup away. She was terribly pale.   
"Maybe you should lie down for a while," he suggested and took off his jacket to hang it over one of the barstool-like chairs.   
She shook her head. "No, it's no use. Are you hungry?"   
"Yeah..." Actually, not really, but the rest of the day was still long, so he stepped up to the order terminal and while typing around on the display he said: "I promised Pax to stop by the colony later."   
"Hmm... oh, John sent new instructions. About the science projects and all that medical stuff for the newbies." She sounded unenthusiastic and he nodded, picked a Mac'n'Cheese and said:   
"To say John is the same as always almost hurt."   
She snorted and he turned back to her. The sight of her was almost painful too, because she looked so lost as she sat there at the kitchen island and studied the tablet with a tired look. Or maybe it was just a kind of lovesickness that was speaking through him.   
After a short hesitation, he stepped half beside half behind her and touched her gently on the shoulder. "Really, you should get some rest - first of all you should eat something. It doesn't have to be a real nap, but a little dozing on the couch might help..."   
She gave a negative growl and then leaned against him- she seemed to have no idea how to behave towards him, considering first the kiss on the cheek and then her stiff attitude. But he put an arm around her in a calming, protective manner and enjoyed the warm weight on his chest.   
"John could have easily woken up the ship a day after the station," she murmured grumpy.   
"Then he would have made it easy for us. Erin, no way!" he replied in feigned horror.   
She snorted, the terminal beeped and immediately she straightened up again, which he deeply regretted.  
  


The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind of old and new faces, questions and discussions, arguments and explanations. In both the emergency dormitories and the dining hall there were screens capable of showing all sorts of information, and they made them display medical instructions as well as the most urgent research topics.   
They talked to the new colonists - the atmosphere there was an explosive mixture that drove Pax as newly elected mayor to the brink of despair and triggered a certain annoyed aggression in Erin that increased the general nervousness. Mike wasn't sure to what extent her behavior was still normal under all the psychological stress, but at least at dinner with the others she could smile honestly. They sat at different tables, with new and old station residents, and Mike even managed to ignore Michael's poisonous glances from the neighboring table while listening to a discussion about the toxic atmosphere. One of the new scientists had probably, in boundless curiosity, stumbled directly into the knowledge database about the B6n-degrading bacteria in the lake, and to Mike's surprise it was Vincenzo and Arne who were the most enthusiastic to participate in the discussion. But maybe it shouldn't surprise him so much, because Vincenzo's comments on heat turbulences of the air only said that he had taken his former earth job as a firefighter extremely seriously. Arne had previously been part of a SWAT team. But when the two of them got into an argument about protective suits, Mike took his leave.  
In the hallway he took a deep breath and wished for five minutes of peace and quiet, but he was not granted them. A young Asian man approached him and talked about laboratory capacities and research groups at an impressive speed, but his strong accent and a strange emphasis made it difficult for Mike to understand him. The fact that a little later Nadja Park, with her exuberant enthusiasm, joined in did not make things any better.  
  


When Mike slipped into his sleeping clothes sometime much later, his hands - even the artificial one - trembled. For a moment he had to hold on to one of the drawers and take a deep breath. The bathroom door opened behind him.   
"Hey... everything okay?" Erin wanted to know quietly.   
He nodded and looked up, saw her careful, almost shy smile and pulled her towards him. It was a simple hug, but it felt so good... until Erin broke free and put a strand of hair behind her ear.   
"We should go to bed. The next few days won't be any less exhausting."   
"Hardly ...", he agreed, although the worst was hopefully already behind them.   
"We didn't take care of the shift schedule at all," she murmured, downright disappointed in herself, and went into the bedroom.   
He followed her slowly. "I'm not sure that's even possible. Or useful. John wants the best possible results from the labs on the one hand, and on the other hand he wants the best couples to be found."   
"With three dead, that's difficult anyway." Erin yawned and Mike pushed back the blanket, sat down and hesitated. "Well, at least you don't have to squeeze through virtual back doors to show me this matchmaking table. After all, we have to work with it now."   
"Are you curious?"   
"Maybe a little..." She almost sounded as if she was ashamed of it, and her quick glance seemed to confirm this.   
His encouraging smile came too late, so he watched her turn off the light on her side and then curl up under the blanket. How he would have loved to snuggle up to her, to curl himself up around her, but they were at a point where it would probably be unwise to do so without talking first. Speaking of which:   
"We wanted to talk after closing time."   
She sighed. "You don't have to apologize, okay? For nothing."   
"That's not true and you know it," he gave back and she sighed again.   
"Why can't we just let this go?"   
"Because John expects us to start a family. Sure, we can do that without physical contact, but that would be a waste." He bit his lip because his words sounded so incredibly stupid.   
"_Waste_?" she asked irritated. "Waste of what? As long as you don't want it the really hard way, you'll get your money's worth anyway."   
He would have loved to look her in the face, but she turned her back on him. Her posture was tense, as if awaiting his touch, but he still just sat there and sighed now. "Let it go. We'll talk later." He turned off the light on his side as well and lay down, took a deep breath and closed his eyes.   
"Do we actually have an alarm clock?" Erin's question tore him away from the sticky fangs of sleep, into which he had immediately drifted, but he couldn't get out more than a _"hmm"_. She said even more and he again made _"hmm"_ into the pillow.


End file.
